tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post3537072300801780967..comments2024-03-05T14:03:08.208-06:00Comments on Bite and Smile with Joe Janes: RantsJoe Janeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858974237565248026noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-61863450707938499412007-06-21T13:51:00.000-05:002007-06-21T13:51:00.000-05:00Okay, the real #1: Shitty tippersOkay, the real #1: Shitty tippersCrustodiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13981606386577495758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-79463411770100534282007-06-21T13:50:00.000-05:002007-06-21T13:50:00.000-05:00Ten Random Things That Probably Piss Me Off10. Slo...Ten Random Things That Probably Piss Me Off<BR/>10. Slow drivers in the left lane. Please just run into the guardrail.<BR/>9. Self-righteous non-smokers. <BR/>8. Unnecessary wars and the people that still think Iraq took down the towers.<BR/>7. Perfectly healthy people, unburdened with packages, that stand still on the escalator.<BR/>6. Those that state that they “hate” certain celebrities instead of simply being apathetic. You give them way too much of your thought.<BR/>5. Assholes that will wait for an elevator right in front of the door. Gee, you think maybe someone may want to get out at your floor?<BR/>4. People that do not understand how to say “please” or “thank you.”<BR/>3. Dudes that take up too much room on airplanes. Not large people, just the guys that sit with their knees way too far apart. <BR/>2. Leaf blowers<BR/>1. Guys who pretend that they hate fake boobies.Crustodiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13981606386577495758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-75759732830288888132007-06-21T11:50:00.000-05:002007-06-21T11:50:00.000-05:00TEN THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF1. When my computer doe...TEN THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF<BR/>1. When my computer does bad things. <BR/>2. car horns. should be banned.<BR/>3. slow walkers and people who block the pathway of anywhere, especially the airport when I’m running to my gate. Please move to the side if someone is behind you.<BR/>4. People who don’t move away from the doors on the train so that other people can get in or out. Oblivious.<BR/>5. I can’t remember what pisses me off. I can’t remember a lot of things. Aaaarrrrgghhh.<BR/>6. The smell of urine on the sidewalk. Go find some grass for fuck’s sake. <BR/>7. Spitting<BR/>8. Using a knife to get ketchup out of a bottle. It will come out. Just wait a few seconds. Shake it. Turn it on its side. Be gentle. <BR/>9. slow talkers<BR/>10. Americans who won’t “do the jobs that Americans don’t want to do.” What a horrible country culture. We are all going straight to hell.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342965653157153772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-82715774629710624472007-06-20T11:54:00.000-05:002007-06-20T11:54:00.000-05:00Mmmm. Sweet, sweet vitriol.1. CTA train conductors...Mmmm. Sweet, sweet vitriol.<BR/><BR/>1. CTA train conductors who can't figure out the concept of smooth braking. Rule of thumb: if you're running the Red Line on the far North Side, you're going to be stopping. at. every. station. So when you see one coming, y'know, be prepared and shit.<BR/><BR/>2. Lindsay Lohan. I know, it's an easy target, but this is above and beyond the call of duty. Paris, Britney, and the rest of the Rehab All-Stars I can learn to live with. But someone needs to make sure the Lohan doesn't open her mouth anymore. Or that I don't find out about it.<BR/><BR/>3. Those magnetic ribbons on the back of cars. Congratulations, America, you've successfully rendered that symbol useless. Oh, I can buy a ribbon to "support" my favorite sports team? Now there's a cause I can really get behind.<BR/><BR/>4. John Malkovich's voice. I dunno, it just gets to me.<BR/><BR/>5. Post-Cubs games CTA crowds. You're not a frat boy, you're a 45 year old drunken tourist, and you're not fooling anyone. Get offa my train, asshole.<BR/><BR/>6. Rosie O'Donnell. Just shut up.<BR/><BR/>7. The fact that John Malkovich's voice bugs me. Why can't I cringe at the sound of someone who sucks instead?<BR/><BR/>8. The foie gras ban. Joe Moore, I only shake your hand outside the Morse stop because you provide doughnuts. But being force-fed and having your liver served as a delicacy is a dream compared to the scenarios running through my head, bub.<BR/><BR/>9. Crocs. Is that what those god awful shoes are called? I don't care how comfortable they are, are you really going to step out into civilized society with those on your feet? Really?<BR/><BR/>10. Non-smokers who bitch about smokers. Hey Kozlowski, wanna go halfsies with me on a tasty slice of emphysema?Paul Rekkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14877967547670893967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-68558774994607162802007-06-20T10:43:00.000-05:002007-06-20T10:43:00.000-05:00I agree with #8. I watched SiCKO this week.I agree with #8. I watched SiCKO this week.Miranda Teganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13687309879013141342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-5074383796061424552007-06-20T09:50:00.000-05:002007-06-20T09:50:00.000-05:00I think I pooped a little after reading number 7. ...I think I pooped a little after reading number 7. <BR/><BR/>And Richard Roeper is an ass bag. Before Roger Ebert took pity on him and gave him a life, he was, I guess still is, a "humorist" for the Sun-Times. He's horribly un-funny and pretentious as all fuck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-607176827317830632007-06-20T09:26:00.000-05:002007-06-20T09:26:00.000-05:00God, I haven't taught an ICW in ages. I miss this...God, I haven't taught an ICW in ages. I miss this part.<BR/><BR/>TEN THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF<BR/><BR/>1) Reality TV. I'm sorry, it isn't *reality* until people start dying. Call me up when that happens.<BR/><BR/>2) Edgewater's lack of public garbage cans. Seriously. Is this why Winthrop Avenue is covered with food and I can barely walk my dog because he's hysterical with joy???<BR/><BR/>3) Waiters who take forever to give you the check. Hey, dumbass, the quicker you get us out of there, the sooner you'll get more diners. More diners, more tips!!! What the hell is the matter with you???<BR/><BR/>4) Rush Limbaugh. Why is this idiot still alive?<BR/><BR/>5) People who obsessively follow celebrity gossip. Seriously, if your life is so terrible, you have to vicariously live through coked-up dimwits...KILL YOURSELF!!! You'll be doing yourself and everyone around you a big favor.<BR/><BR/>6) Smokers. Stop smoking, you!<BR/><BR/>7) Tourists. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stop in the middle of the FUCKING SIDEWALK!!!! <BR/><BR/>8) Stupid people. Seriously, who pays to go see Rob Schneider movies? Note to those who do: See #5.<BR/><BR/>9) David Navarro. Possibly the single most uncharismatic TV news anchor in the history of the business. Whose name does he have???<BR/><BR/>10) Richard Roeper. This smug piece of goose dung went on and on in one of his articles about those Dove body soap commercials that featured actual women in their underwear, calling them fat. You know what, dumbass? If you prefer women who are shaped like 8-year old boys, it means you want to fuck 8-year old boys. Join NAMBLA then, you pedophilic sack of shit.<BR/><BR/>Ahem.<BR/><BR/>Beat THAT, Don Hall.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17455390534071715876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153888337668314458.post-7815707873248048632007-06-20T08:14:00.000-05:002007-06-20T08:14:00.000-05:00The restaurant rule: Figure out what you are supp...The restaurant rule: Figure out what you are supposed to pay. And then add $2.<BR/><BR/>Whenever we go out for a group lunch at work, this formula NAILS it. We hit everything plus tip within fifty cents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com