Written by Joe Janes
4/7/09
79 of 365
CAST
Mother, 30s
Daughter, 12
Father, 30s
(Lights up on a mother and young daughter standing outside a door. Inside we hear horrible sounds of a man in pain. Crying, wailing, gnashing of teeth, some throwing of things about, fists pounding on hard surfaces, some settling down, panting, slowing, sniffing, throat clearing, silence, a sigh of relief. An envelope slides out from under the door. The mother picks it up. The daughter puts a stamp on it.)
MOTHER
Honey. Don’t forget to do the state taxes.(More intense wailing and thrashing about as lights fade.)
This would no doubt play well in production, but Father's pain seemed short in duration, considering the tax actuality cause.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed to me he was only just passing a stone . . . only just . . .
It's definitely all in the execution. The father needs to sound like he's going through a combo of anal rape, waterboarding, root canal and kidney stones. Maybe some gout thrown in for good measure.
ReplyDeleteThe stage directions made me feel like I was reading Desire Under the Elms. I've never read it, but there weren't any elms mentioned and it certainly seemed intense enough.
ReplyDeleteThis is a misguided attempt at a compliment.
LMAO!!!!!!! Nice one Joe. :)
ReplyDelete