Written by Joe Janes
9/11/09
236 of 365
CAST
John, 20s
Linda, 20s
Karen, 40s
Ted, 50s
Janice, 30s
(Lights up on John and Linda walking holding hands along an urban street.)
JOHN
I love having the afternoon off.
LINDA
Me, too. I wish we could afford a whole weekend getaway.
JOHN
Well, we might just be a small step closer to fulfilling your wish. Look. A penny.
(John bends to pick it up, Linda stops him.)
LINDA
No, don’t.
JOHN
Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you’ll have good luck.
LINDA
Not when it’s tails up.
JOHN
What does that matter? A penny’s a penny.
LINDA
Heads up is good luck. Tails up is bad luck. John, really, let’s keep walking.
JOHN
We’re just talking about a penny. The lowest coin on the currency food chain doesn’t get to determine my good or bad fortune. At the very least, it’s good luck, because I’ll be a penny richer than I was before. It’s not much, but it’s a point in the right direction.
LINDA
My mom always told me upside down pennies are a message from someone from the spirit world. Like a dead grandma or something. Heads up means they are with you and looking out for you. Heads down, and they have an issue with you.
JOHN
Are you saying my dead grandmother has a problem with me?
LINDA
Maybe? I never met her.
JOHN
Maybe her problem is with you?
LINDA
Why would your dead grandmother have a problem with me? I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
JOHN
So you say. Maybe there’s something you’re not telling me. I pick up the penny, I’ll find out about it and be devastated, but if I don’t pick up the penny, I may never find out.
LINDA
That’s ridiculous. It is, as you said, just a penny. We could walk away from it. Who cares about being a penny richer?
(Karen, a homeless person, walks up to them.)
KAREN
Excuse me. I lost my job and am homeless. Can you help me out? I’m trying to get something to eat.
LINDA
There’s a penny here on the sidewalk.
(Karen shrugs and picks it up. Ted, a well-dressed businessman enters followed by Janice, his assistant.
TED
Excuse me. I know how ridiculous this sounds, but I really need a penny. I don’t carry any cash, coins, especially, offend the lining of my pockets, and I just made a bet with another playboy billionaire about whether or not a pigeon in the street would actually peck at the remains of a car-flattened dead pigeon. It did, the filthy cannibal. So, I owe him a penny. If I don’t pay up in the next five minutes, as per our rules, the debt goes up to a million. I know, I know, boys will be boys, right? So, any way, if you have a penny, I will gladly have my secretary write you a check for one thousand dollars.
KAREN
Here you go.
(Karen hands Ted a penny, Janice hands Karen a check for one thousand dollars.)
JANICE
It’s made out to “cash.”
TED (kisses Karen)
Thank you. You have made my day!
KAREN
You made mine, too.
(Ted and Janice exit. Karen turns and smiles at John and Linda.)
KAREN (continuing)
Thanks for the penny.
(She exits. John looks at Karen.)
JOHN
My dead grandmother was right about you.
(He exits. Blackout)
