Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Gods

The premise of Neil Gaiman's novel American Gods is simple and brilliant. Basically, the old school gods, like Pan, have disappeared or are on the wane, because people have stopped believing in them. We know they have stopped believing in them, because people no longer build temples to worship them. No worship, no god. It's a very co-dependent relationship. However, new gods have been created through our unconscious worshiping. The television is seen as an altar in every home that is worshipped on hours daily, thus creating a type of electronic god.

Based on that criteria, who are my gods?

1) The God of Dishes - Every morning, first thing I do, is feed the cats and wash the dishes. I stand before the stainless steel altar and cleanse my enchanted cookery and then place them on another altar that elevates them while they dry.

2) The God of Coffee - I used to go to church (Starbucks), but now I worship at home with my french press. The press - by taking it apart, cleaning it, reassembling it, boiling and pouring water, stirring the contents with my special plastic paddle, waiting four minutes, pressing the plunger - heightens the sense of ritual in my praising of the bean.

3) The God of Cats - I make offerings (food, toys), I groom them, I pet them, I scoop up their excrement and place it in a plastic bag. These gods have been around a long time, though. The Egyptians were hip to them.

4) The God of Trains - I tithe, I pass through special portals, I stand and wait, I enter and sit quietly in communion with others.

5) The God of Computers - I even have a special place for my computer. I sit in front of it for hours. It is quickly replacing my television god as a vessel of worship.

6) The God of Blogging - Every morning, five days a week, I write an entry that I hope will please the blogging gods and send my place on the Internet a bounty of hits and comments.

So, got any gods you've been worshipping?


Yesterday, I asked...

"Paul McCartney would like to release a 14-minute experimental music track The Beatles recorded called what?"

40% said "Crap Beatles Fans Will Pay Big Money For"
- That's just the British release featuring Sir Paul wearing a butcher's outfit and holding bags of bloody money.

10% said "The Un-fair"
- Un-nope.

No one said "Circus of the Stares"

50% got it right with "Carnival of Lights"

According to The Associated Press, McCartney says he wants to release "Carnival of Light," a 14-minute experimental track the Fab Four recorded in 1967 but never released.

The band played the recording for an audience just once, at an electronic music festival in London. It reportedly includes distorted guitar, organ sounds, gargling and shouts of "Barcelona!" and "Are you all right?" from McCartney and John Lennon.

He said he had wanted to include the track on the Beatles' "Anthology" compilation, but was vetoed by his bandmates.

With some of the crap George and Ringo have put out in their solo careers (I know, blasphemer!), it has to be pretty bad for them to veto it.

But thanks to the miracle of the Internet, here's what purports to be a cover of that tune. So, you can decide for yourself if you really need the original to fill out your Beatles catalogue.


Freddie said...

I also worship the Porcelain God, who I believe is in cahoots with the Coffee God and maybe the lentils and beans God I worshiped the night before.

Joe Janes said...

Ah, yes. The Porcelain God. I have made many varied offerings to Ralph.