Don't Retweet, Reload

It took me a long time to wrap my head around Twitter and why the hell anyone would want to be on it. It's essentially a stream of Facebook updates. In fact, many people have them linked so they're Tweet and Facebook update are the same. That's okay once in awhile, but all the time is annoying. Some people, comedians, mostly, have found ways to make Twitter into it's own art form. If you are not following Steve Martin, you're missing out on a comedy genius experimenting with a new medium while also being very funny.

The biggest acknowledgment on Twitter is to have your tweet retweeted. That's where someone liked what you wrote so much, they sent it along to all of their followers. I have been on Twitter for a year, now. Here are some of my Tweets that got the golden retweet.

Your tweets, retweeted

Thelonious Monkees #awfulsupergroups

Match.rib #NewChristianDatingSites

I can see why people compare Obama to Lincoln. Obama's one of the best republican presidents we've ever had.

Hey! Stop ending your scenes by turning them into PSA announcements. Take the time to write a frickin' genuine ending.

Effective change begins with the person who is sitting in your underwear. Assuming it is you. And you didn't go commando today.

Jesus was not born in America. If you let him into your heart, you are harboring an illegal immigrant.

Republicans read the constitution today. I hope they took out the "n" word.

84-yr-old Hef asked his 24-yr-old bride to spend the rest of their lives together. What a commitment phobe!

The Karate Kid Rock #FailedRockBandMovies

The Chronicles of Nirvana #FailedRockBandMovies

Just checked in at McDonaldland. Now mayor. McCheese disputing my residency.

high tops. God's way of saying your socks don't have to match.

wearing a brown ribbon for Colon Cancer Awareness. Looking for some runs I can sign up for.

If you slip the TSA guy five bucks, he'll take longer checking your junk. Just saying.

Boehner says tending bar prepped him for politics. Which means he works for tips. Corps keep giving him $, he'll keep getting them drunk.

Christine O' Donnell is you and you is me and we are all together. She is the walrus.

See a 365 Sketch tonight All are fun and crazy - like having an ex without the emotional or physical damage. http://www.strawdog.org

I am pressing the boundaries of how long I can go without doing laundry. You know, to help the environment.

douche/duʃ/–noun 1.a current of water applied to a cavity for medicinal or hygienic purposes. 2. Fake tanned senator from Ohio.

"The Who" playing the Superbowl makes me sad. No Moon. No Entwistle. They should rename themselves The What...Who?