Written by Joe Janes
9/21/09
246 of 365
CAST
Billy
Ellen
(Lights up on Billy sitting on a stoop. He wears a windbreaker and he looks tired. He holds a stick with a bandanna tied in the end like a pouch. It is filled with a few things. A porch light comes on behind him.)
ELLEN
Billy?... Billy, is that you?
BILLY
Yeah. It’s me, Aunt Ellen.
ELLEN
Somebody looks like he’s a little down in the dumpsters.
BILLY
I guess.
(She sits down next to him.)
ELLEN
Run away from home, did ya’?
BILLY
I guess.
ELLEN
What’s the matter, Billy? What mean thing did my sister do, now?
BILLY
She never lets me watch what I want to watch on television.
ELLEN
That’s pretty serious.
BILLY
She’s always bossing me around, telling me what to do.
ELLEN
Yeah. That can be rough.
BILLY
She makes me clean up stuff that I didn’t even make messy, like the yard.
ELLEN
Well, sometimes everybody needs to pitch in. It is just the two of you.
BILLY
But sometimes when I come home, I’m just tired. I don’t want to do any of that stuff. I just want to eat, watch TV or play video games. Why can’t I do that?
ELLEN
We all wish we could play all the time. But, sometimes, you need to work a little harder. She means well. She loves you and cares about you.
BILLY
No she doesn’t.
ELLEN (putting her hand on his arm)
Yes, she does. You’re her little man. She just wants your help.
BILLY
You wouldn’t make me do any of that stuff if I lived here, would ya’?
ELLEN
Well, if you lived here, I might. Sure you’re ready to move into a new place? Doesn’t look like you brought a lot.
BILLY
I brought what I need. (He opens up the bandana.) I have the crust from a baloney sandwich – I ate the inside part, a clean pair of underwear, my Axe Body Spray, a pack of cigarettes and my Cialis.
ELLEN
I don’t think that will last you a very long time. Tell you what. (Standing up) Why don’t you come inside? I just made some chocolate chip cookies. You can have as many as you like. And when you’ve had as many as your little belly can hold and you’re starting to feel all sleepy, we’ll call your wife and have her come get you. Okay?
BILLY (stands up)
Okay. I’ll probably just drive back. Thank you, Aunt Ellen.
ELLEN
You’re welcome. Now, get your buns in there. (She smacks him on the behind as he enters the house.) Boys.
(Blackout)
