Thursday, September 6, 2007

That's Enternewsment!

I have coined a new word.

ENTERNEWSMENT!




That's when the lines between news and entertainment are so wonderfully blended, or blurred, as when Senator Fred Thompson announced his candidacy for president on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Particularly apropos since his competitors were in New Hampshire at the time of the Leno taping. They were "grappling" with wimpy questions lobbed at them like fluffy cotton candy softballs posed by Chris Wallace. Thompson, wishing to be more challenged, had to face the hard chin and pointed questions of Jay Leno.

Their exchanged went something like this...

JAY: So, you want to be president? That's gotta be a tough job.

FRED: I'm sure it is, but I'm ready to give it all I can give.

(cue "applause" sign)

JAY: Boy, I bet the food on Air Force One is something. Did you hear about this? Ever since Jimmy Carter left office they stopped serving peanuts.

FRED: I'm a Republican and I offer an alternative.

JAY: Pretzels?

(cue "applause" sign)

JAY: Say, that Iraq War...that's some pickle.

FRED: It sure is, Jay. But I'm ready to give it all I can give.

(cue "applause" sign)

JAY: The Iraq War is like a bank account. There's a penalty for early withdrawal.

(cue "applause" sign)

FRED: (laughing heartily) That's so true. That's so true.

JAY: So, Fred, why announce your run for president on my show? Why not one of the major news programs or hold a press conference?

FRED: Because, Jay, I'm an American. I wanted to reach the American people. And this is America.

(cue "applause" sign)

(cue Johnny Carson spinning in his grave)


That, my friends, is enternewsment!

Can't wait for the State of the Union Address to be delivered on American Idol.



ROBOWRITERS IS TONIGHT!

At 6:30pm at the Uptown Writer's Space, 4802 North Broadway. Bring a sketch or two. Get it read, get feedback. Eat candy. $5.



BLIND DONKEY HOPSCOTCH




Who's your dada?

Opening night is tomorrow night at 7:30pm at the Chicago Cultural Center. Come join us, won't you?



GET IN ON THE NOD

Ever want to read your blog entries to an audience? The Nod is coming up on Wednesday, September 19th. Send us an e-mail with a link to your blog. Send it to thenod.don.joe@gmail.com



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"Nepal Airlines found a unique way to handle technical problems in their aircraft. They did what?"

At 41%, the most popular answer was "Trained attendants to do in-flight repairs"
- "There's a creature out on the wing!" "No, that's just Napu working on the engine."

33% thought it might be "Asked passengers to tip the mechanics"
- Sheesh, I hope I didn't give any airline officials an idea here. Who's going to risk NOT tipping the mechanic?

6% picked "Reworked schedule to take only short trips"
- Yes. Now, they only do flights from the east side of Nepal to the west side of Nepal. "We're about to take off, oh - we just landed."

20% got it right with "Sacrificed goats to appease sky god"

According to Reuters, officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft. Not to knock anyone's religious beliefs, but when it comes to aircraft repair, I think I have more faith in duct tape than fillet of goat.

3 comments:

Paul said...

I love that the dada-link to the Cultural Center gives you this:

"java.lang.NumberFormatException: null
at java.lang.Integer.parseInt(Integer.java:382)
at java.lang.Integer.parseInt(Integer.java:463)
at org.cityofchicago.webportal.action.PortalContentItemAction.perform(Unknown Source)
at org.apache.struts.action.ActionServlet.processActionPerform(ActionServlet.java:1787)
at org.apache.struts.action.ActionServlet.process(ActionServlet.java:1586)
at org.apache.struts.action.ActionServlet.doGet(ActionServlet.java:492)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:740)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at com.broadvision.servlet.ServletContainer.service(ServletContainer.java:404)
at com.broadvision.servlet.ServletContainer.processRequest(ServletContainer.java:348)
at com.broadvision.servlet.ServletContextContainer.processRequest(ServletContextContainer.java:660)
at com.broadvision.servlet.BVServletEngine.service(BVServletEngine.java:202)
at com.broadvision.servlet.BVServletConnector.service(BVServletConnector.java:139)"


Break legs, dadas. As many as possible. And a dream or two, if you can squeeze it in.

Joe Janes said...

That's hysterical. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I fixed it...or did I?

Paul said...

SOIREE DADA: Blinde Essel Hopse (Blind Donkey Hopskotch) blends elements from both schools of DADA thought: Country AND Western.

Oh. Link fixed.