What The What

Howdy!

Been a long time since I updated the ol' blog, so here's a bit of a round-up of what I have been up to.

- I have two shows opening this week! One is a very funny Writing 6 show I directed Fridays at 7:30pm in the de MAAT at Second City. It's called Ground Control To Planet Keith. You can get info on it by clicking HERE. Chicago Sketchfest starts this week. You can see me in a show I co-wrote, Robot vs. Dinosaur's Pretty From A Distance. It's this coming Saturday at 7pm in the Thrust Theater. One show only. You can get ticket info HERE.

- I just got back from a two-week vacation where my girlfriend and I logged over 3400 miles driving. We visited a lot of family and friends. We went from Chicago to Clarksville, Tennessee to Nashville to Orlando to Lake Worth, Florida to Elkin, North Carolina to Scranton, Pennsylvania to Streetsboro, Ohio to Port Clinton, Ohio back to Chicago. Aside from meeting many great people and reconnecting with family, highlights included spending a day at Disneyworld and park hopping - Disney Hollywood to Epcot to The Magic Kingdom. And while it sucked to have our drive disrupted by snow and ice, we did spend the night in the Presidential Suite of a Holiday Inn Express in Streetsboro, Ohio. It was the first time I got to use my AARP discount! The hot tub in the bedroom was worth the extra dollars. Best night of sleep I had our whole trip. Stopping in Elkin was also an added bonus. We stayed at a friend's mother's house. It was gorgeous. They fed us well, too, and turned us on to a local winery where we bought some Booger Swamp White wine. How could we not buy that? The absolute best thing about the trip, though, is that my girlfriend and I still love each other. In spite of my occassional donning of grumpypants after some long hauls on the road.

- I have another 10-Minute Play class starting this Saturday at 1pm at The Second City Training Center. There are still a few slots left. You can get more info by clicking HERE.

- I have been busy writing a one-act play for a cool WNEP project that will be in the spring and the wheels are turning for another 365 Sketches/50 Plays type of event for June.

- With all the writing projects I have, I just don't update this ol' blog as much anymore. For more consistent info from me, follow me on Twitter and Instagram, joejanes1065, or subscribe to my Facebook page.

- Happy New Year. May it be full of health, happiness and all kinds of blow jobs - emotional and physical.

Writng The 10-Minute Play with Joe Janes

WRITING THE 10-MINUTE PLAY

with Joe Janes

Classes start THIS Saturday (October 29th) and there are still slots left.

What is the difference between a 5-minute sketch and a 10-minute play?  That extra four minutes means everything in this course that will explore character, story and subtext. 

During this 8 week course, students will...

- complete and revise 3-5 10-minute plays that will be ready for submitting to contests or festivals

- experience writing for a director and cast in the same manner used to develop "50 Plays"

- see their work performed before an audience in a staged reading by experienced actors

$340/$310 early registration, 8 weeks, 3 hours

Prerequisite: Writing 6 or Approval by Instructor

To register, call the training center at 312-664-3959 or click HERE

To request approval for admission, e-mail me at jjanes@secondcity.com

I Believe...

...that the biggest issue facing our country right now is doing what it takes to put Americans to work and restoring the middle class. As long as politicians can be bought by corporations, that's not likely to happen.

...that, while the idea that one should set aside a day for rest resides primarily in superstitions and myth, it's still a pretty freakin' good idea. (Straight from the AWG. I wholeheartedly agree. I take Sundays off.)

...that threats of physical violence are worthless and when, on that rare occasion carried out, are weak.

...that shit gets real when teenagers are shot in one's neighborhood a few blocks from where one lives.

...that one should question what one believes. Did you earn that belief or did you buy (swallow) it without question? Question everything. Even yourself.

Schedule Change for 50 Plays August 20th!

August 20

Derek Is An Asshole – Jeff Bouthiette

Scratch’d – Hank Boland

The Saddest vacant Lot In The World – Jay Steigmann

Burka Betty - Kyra Lewandowski

ONLY THREE SHOWS LEFT!!!

(The Best of) 50 Plays by Joe Janes

ONLY THREE SHOWS LEFT!!!

(Dana Black in Berka Betty)

“Silly. Bizarre. Violent. Provocative.” – The Chicago Reader

Donny's Skybox Theater @ Second City, 1608 N. Wells, 4th Floor

Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. – August 20, 27 and September 3

$13.00 General Admission

$10.00 for Students

$8.00 for Students of the Second City Training Center

Go to www.secondcity.com for on-line sales or purchase at the door

(The Best Of) 50 Plays - Reader Review

Brian Costello from The Chicago Reader came to our opening night.

Here are some quotes...

"silly, bizarre, violent, and provocative"

"...the pieces showcase Janes's willingness to take risks of all kinds."

You can read the rest of the review HERE.

Twilight

It is not unusual for me to read a book long after its been published or not see a movie until it comes to DVD (or, now, streaming on Netflix). This is especially so if it is something that is wildly popular. Seems the more popular it is, the less interested I am. Maybe this goes back to my general attitude in high school, which applied mostly to other students and Top 40 music. If everybody likes it, I probably won't.

Once in a writing class I was teaching, I had a student who wrote a parody of Twilight. It was clear she had not read the book. Even though I hadn't either, she just wasn't able to address some of the logic issues I was having. My advice to her, and I stand by this, is that if you want to poke fun at something, you have to know it well. Read the book. The first film had yet to be made. Read the book, then write the scene. She cursed me, read the book, cursed me some more, and wrote a very funny scene poking fun at the over-the-top soap opera antics of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.

Had I given that advice to me, I simply would have written something else and skip the pain of reading a 500-page book about dreamy vampires in love. My resistance to the book is also rooted in my love and affection for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. High school. Vampires. Been there. Loved it. Don't spoil it for me. I once almost watched the first Twilight film. I'm a whore for free preview weekends on cable. However, I almost always have bad timing for them and hardly ever see anything I really want. Twilight was on. I left it on while I did other things. Pretty sure I followed the story pretty well, too, with only a few glances at the screen.

I know I did, because I recently read the book. On a challenge. This isn't a story about how I have been turned around and am now a fan. Far from it. However, I do have a different appreciation for it. Considered in the right context, it's actually a really enticing book. Weighed as a book for adults? Keep it away from my bookshelves, please. It's sort of like Rebecca Black's debut music video Friday. It's horrible. But when you consider she's barely in her mid-teens, well, then, that's a pretty damn impressive video, don't you think?

Twilight is a book written for young adults. That's the section I found it in after overcoming my embarrassment to ask the store clerk to help me find it. This book is not for grown-ups. You want grown-up literary vampires, hit up Anne Rice. These are vampires written for teens. Specifically, teenage girls. This book hits its target. Not me. It's also written in the first person of Bella, the smart, but klutzy girl who doesn't realize how good lookin' she is until all the boys at her new school fall all over themselves to meet her. All of them, except the broody Edward. Who can sometimes be nice. It reads like her diary. It's like peeking in on her most intimate thoughts, something her glistening mind-reading vampire boyfriend can't even do. It's made to stir the loins of young girls. Not my much older, hairier loins.

This book is not for me. It's for teenage girls. Or the teenage girl in you. For me to bitch about its existence is ridiculous. It was not designed with middle-aged bald guys in mind. For me to complain about it is like me lamenting about Sesame Street being condescending to adults or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood failure to show an adult male perspective.

Now, I have read books for young adults that I enjoy. They do exist. But whether I enjoy them or not is moot. What matters is if the target audience enjoys it. Clearly, my Twilight book knows who it wants turning its pages.

So, if you're an awkward, but smart and somewhat pretty teenage girl, you'll probably really enjoy this book or the film. If you are not, watch Daybreakers. Good vampire movie. The kind where vampires actually kill people.