The Legacy of King George

Perhaps in an attempt to avoid facing disillusionment in the present, King George W. has been meeting with historians to discuss what his legacy will be. In response to the lowest presidential approval ratings ever, he is often quoted in the press saying that history will be his judge. That's a little frustrating for those of us seeking justice now, poetic or otherwise.

Good news, folks, we don't have to wait. Through the magic of the world wide web and the sacrifice of a small fetus earmarked for stem cell research, I have George W. Bush's legacy, right here. This is his bio, as listed in The White House's Hall of Presidents, circa 2057.

The 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush was known as The Great Fabricator. He had the unique ability to ignore bad news and to bend and reimagine facts to his will. Because of his legendary tax cuts, Bush was also known, by large corporations and wealthy friends, as a modern day Robbin' Hood. He stole from the lazy, unentitled poor and gave to the hard-working, deserving rich. Known as a compassionate conservative, he often took pity on his friends who made less than a million dollars a year by giving them jobs in his administration regardless of their qualifications. He was also known as a great liberator, liberating over 100,000 soldiers and civilians from their mortal coils in his War on Terrorism. The War on Terrorism was created by Mr. Bush as a response to the attacks of 9/11 and was won when Mr. Bush, at the end of his presidency, had the word "terrorism" stricken from all U.S. dictionaries. This left Dennis Kucinich, the 44th president, to pick up the mantle with the War on Discombobulation.

FACTOID: During his service in office, America's greatest natural resources were corn, oil and fear.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIE!!!

Saturday Morning Cartoons!

Road (Runner) Rules!

Road Runner/Coyote cartoons were among my favorites growing up. I loved how they played with physics and I loved the lack of dialogue. This was my first introduction to silent comedy. What I find fascinating about these cartoons is that the plot never changes and, yet, they're all wildly creative. Developing these was a highly collaborative process that required the animators to come up with rules. This helped focus the brainstorming and saved time. And while not using the words "yes, and..." the environment was very much that. All ideas were accepted and explored. No such thing as a dumb idea with this creative team. On the end result side of things, it helped create a very specific world for these two characters to inhabit.

I reread these every few years if only to remind me that rules aren't always a bad thing in creativity and can be very helpful in developing characters and scenes.

on Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner, from Chuck Amuck:
Here were some of the rules we obeyed in the Coyote-Road Runner series:

• Rule 1. The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going "Beep-Beep!"
• Rule 2. No outside force can harm the Coyote - only his own ineptitude or the failure of the Acme products.
• Rule 3. The Coyote could stop anytime - if he were not a fanatic. (Repeat: "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." - George Santayana)
• Rule 4. No dialogue ever, except "Beep-Beep!"
• Rule 5. The Road Runner must stay on the road - otherwise, logically, he would not be called Road Runner.
• Rule 6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters - the Southwest American desert.
• Rule 7. All materials, tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation.
• Rule 8. Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.
• Rule 9. The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.
• (Rule 10.) The audience's sympathy must remain with the Coyote.(Joe - Apparently, this was a more unofficial one and probably more accurately reflects the feelings of the animators.)

Whoa, Be Gone! was made by Warner Brothers in 1958 and contains all my favorite Road Runner elements; rockets, dynamite, ACME products and multiple falls off cliffs.

Mining Your Childhood

For many of us, we glance at our lives from our childhoods to where we are now and don't think much about it. Because it happened to us, because we were there, it might not occur as being anything particularly special or interesting. We lack the objectivity to look at it from the outside. Every time I work with writers on exploring their childhoods for scene potential, they are almost always surprised at how fun it is and the scenic potential they discover. And when the writers share the details of their childhood memories, they usually discover how everyone else experienced either the same thing or something similar. Or wish that they had. Your walk upon this planet is unique, but relatable.

Even if people grew up in different time periods, we were all kids. Our excitement and wonder were all just focused on different things. I may not know my giant robots when it comes to Transformers, but I know my way around giant monsters in Godzilla's universe and PlayStations may have replaced Army Men, but I can relate. We can all connect with our own inner geek.

RoboWriter Assignment:

Create a list of ten places - be specific - where you loved to play or hang out when you were a kid (12 years or younger).

Here's mine. Remember, it's not a top ten list. It's a quickly rendered brainstorming list of places in no particular order.

1) under the trailer
2) in the woods
3) under a folding table with a blanket thrown over it
4) under my bed
5) near the crick (that's right, I said "crick")
6) at the dump
7) at my best friend Dale's dairy farm barn
8) at the elementary school playground
9) along the railroad tracks
10) in the big tree at the center of the trailer park I grew up in

The assignment is to pick one of the items on your list and build a scene around it. The challenge is to place adults in this childhood setting and to let your memories of that place affect your scene. I once wrote a scene about a CEO who held office under a folding table draped in a blanket. In interviewing a potential hire, he offered her chocolate syrup from the can (the best way - when I was a kid, you could only get Hershey's Chocolate Syrup in a can and you had to open it with a church key - a type of opener that opened bottles on one end and punctured cans open with its other pointy end. Around this time, beer cans could only be opened this way, so my brother and I would open these can of chocolatey goodness and pretend we were drinking beer. Hey, maybe that's why I like Guinness so much!). She gets the job when she proves her mettle by peeling off a scab on her arm and eating it. Good times. This is from memory. I wrote that scene probably fifteen years ago for WNEP. There is no electronic copy of it. I have no idea where the hard copy went.

As always, feel free to post your list of ten in the comment section. Good luck with the assignment.

RoboWriters Tonight!

RoboWriters meets Thursday evenings at The Uptown Writer's Space at Lawrence and Broadway at 6:30pm. I've been getting a lot of questions about the group. Here's a mini FAQ.

DO I HAVE TO COME EVERY WEEK?

Nope. Come whenever you can, however often you like. It's not a structured progressive week-to-week curriculum. No registration. No commitments. Coming regularly can be helpful, though. We've had a few writers already bring in successful rewrites of scenes they read earlier.

WHAT IF I DIDN'T DO LAST WEEK'S ASSIGNMENT?

The assignments are there just to get you a-writin'. They are not a requirement. Bring whatever you're working on. A few people have come without anything to read and used the evening to get inspired and to get an assignment.

THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO DINNER TIME? CAN I BRING FOOD?

Sure. We meet in a conference room that's well-suited for dining and noshing. Would prefer you didn't bring anything particularly smelly or messy. Please, no ribs, spaghetti, lobster or naked sushi.

WHO EXACTLY COMES TO THESE THINGS?

Men and women of all shapes and sizes and colors. Mostly, it's been writer/performers developing material for sketch revues. We've also had playwrights who wanted help with scenes in a larger piece of work.

DOES IT MATTER WHAT MY EXPERIENCE LEVEL IS?

Nope. The playing field is even. Everyone is welcome.

DOES IT HAVE TO BE WRITTEN FOR THE STAGE?

No. For camera is fine, too. We have experience in that area, as well. But it is performance-oriented. So, leave your sonnets at home.

WILL IT HURT?

Maybe a little. We don't rip anyone apart, but we don't back off from giving what we think will be the most effective feedback for someone to hear. It's an honest environment and usually a lot of fun with a lot of laughter involved.

HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?

We go until 8pm. If you're a little late or have to leave early, no big deal. If everyone gets their material read early, we discuss writing, shows we've seen, and work on ideas for next week's assignment.

WHY IS IT CALLED ROBOWRITERS?

RoboWriters was started in New York by Robot vs Dinosaur. Thus the "robo" connection. "Dino" didn't make any sense due to a dinosaur's inability to hold and operate a pencil.

HOW MUCH IS IT?

Five bucks. Cash, please. The money goes to cover the cost of using the space.

If you have any further questions or if any of the regular RoboWriters have any comments, please post them. Thanks.

The Banana Splits

clash of context example

Eating & Explosions

Happy Fourth of July, America!