Soiree Dada: BlindeHeselHopse opened this past weekend. It was a grueling week starting with previews last Tuesday all the way to Sunday's matinee. We had a lot of press turn out and we had decent audience turnout, especially for opening night. I think we'll get positive press, but more importantly, I think we'll get a lot of word-of-mouth and repeat business. In fact, just in our first weekend, there were several people who came to previews and returned to see it a second time. I think it's the kind of show you can see several times without getting bored. The experience of the show can very greatly simply by where changing where you sit.
Of course, you could say that about any show. Seeing Wicked from the fifth row is a very different experience than seeing it from the last row of the balcony. And the people seated around you affect your experience, sometimes positively, but most times negatively via chattiness, cellphones, coughing, eating, antsiness, late arrivals, etc. Those things might happen at our show, but they will be quickly dealt with and will become a part of the show. And because of the intimacy of our space, there is no hiding.
More importantly, each Dada has their own unique station and audience members have to play a game of chance to win a seat. These are, of course, Dada versions of games of chance. You may have to sing a lullaby, whack a picture with a hammer, or guess what Dada MondoYippeeeeeee is thinking about you right now. Party-poopers can just take a seat on or near the stage. But since each Dada interacts with their guests it's like getting your own show within the larger show. Come early so you can experience all eight of the games. A very unique theatrical experience that I haven't encountered anywhere.
(Photo of Dada Rusty Kluster's seats by Fuzzy Gerdes.)
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE WEEK
On Saturday, I asked...
"At least five traffic accidents in Minnesota on the same street were caused by a truck spilling what?"
20% thought it was "Bananas" - That would have been beautiful. Sorry, no.
No one thought it was "KY Jelly" or "Milk" - The combination of which would make for a really disgusting yogurt.
80% knew their stuff and picked "Chicken Guts"
According to the Associated Press, a truck spilled a load of apparent chicken renderings last Thursday. The mess covered eight blocks and wound up on, or inside, many vehicles parked along the street. The slippery pavement caused at least four rear-end collisions between vehicles unable to stop at intersections. Police were trying to locate the truck on Friday. So, it's not so much "Why did the chicken cross the road?" as it is, "What happened to the truck that splattered his guts all over the place?"
I hesitated putting Scoob on Saturday Morning Cartoons. With the movies and the many permutations, I kind of feel Scooby and the gang, well, sold out. I loved the original series, which ran from 1969 to 1972. Then it became Scooby-Doo movies and featured special guests. This show was horrible. Some of their mystery-solving co-stars included The Three Stooges and The Harlem Globetrotters. Both acts were more fun live because you were seeing people act like cartoons. Not so interesting when I know the only skill involved in making that ball move (or ball ping hammer for the stooges) belongs to the sweat shop animators at Hanna-Barbera. Of course, the two worst infractions against cartoonkind was the introduction of Scooby's nephew, Scrappy-Doo (I mean, really, does the comic relief need comic relief?) and a version of the show that had all the main characters as children (or puppies).
Still, I loved this show.It combined several of my favorite elements; scary movies, mysteries and comedy. I also had a crush on Velma. Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! premiered on September 13, 1969. The full names of the human characters were; Daphne Blake (hot!), Freddy Jones (Is that an ascot? Are you a cowboy?), Velma Dinkley (Hotter than Daphne!), Norville "Shaggy" Rogers (in the classic beatnik/hippy mold), and Scooby "Scoobert" Doo. They traveled around in a green van known as "The Mystery Machine" and solved many scary mysteries along the way. Not sure what they did for money. And as pat and formulaic as the show became, I have to give the animators credit. The monsters looked good.
Here's the opening credits with the original version of the theme song.
The same folks who did the theme song also provided music for the chase scenes. Basically, an original pop song that had absolutely nothing to do with the story. The creators were trying to cash in on The Archies phenom, but I don't think they ever produced a song that made the charts. Here's an example of one of their chase scenes from the second season. And note the reveal of the real monster - usually some mild-mannered character who realistically wouldn't be able to fill out that monster costume they using to scare the whomevers away.
Wish the Scooby gang would rip the fake dyed beard off of Osama bin Laden and reveal Dick Cheney cussing at those meddling kids.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"In a meeting with our president, South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun challenged Bush to do what?"
50% answered "Visit his country" - No. He saw what happened when Bush "visited" Iraq.
16% picked "Pull out of Iraq" - No, but he did express concern about Bush not using a condom.
Everyone wisely avoided "Swap wives" - He was more interested in Bush's daughters, anyway.
The correct answer, which 34% knew, "End the Korean War"
According to the Associated Press, Roh challenged Bush to make a declaration to end the Korean War. That conflict ended in a truce in 1953, not a peace treaty, so the two sides technically remain at war. Who knew? We actually do have three wars going on. I thought it ended when M*A*S*H went off the air.
I'm glad Roh kept pushing Bush on it. It made Georgie get his pissy look.
This one is simple and a lot of fun. Have you ever wanted to write a scene for Monty Python or Mr. Show? Have you ever wanted to write a scene for SNL or MADtv?
Your assignment is to do just that. Write a scene for your favorite sketch show. It doesn't even have to be from television. It can be for a group you have seen live, like The Second City.
Write a scene for that group. Instead of imitating well-known characters your favorite actors do or did, come up with new ones you think will fit their style.
And here's where it can really get fun. Say you do want to write a scene for The Second City. You can write for the specific cast of a show you saw or you can cherry pick your cast. I'd love to see a scene with John Belushi and Tina Fey or Scott Adsit with Gilda Radner. Go for it. It's your scene. Write for people whose work you really enjoy and admire.
Osama bin Laden and Britney Spears both plan to release comeback videos. When will the pain and suffering stop? How much longer will we have to live in fear? Homeland Security has raised the country's alert levels up to Black Lace which means there's a high probability of grease stains and unwanted exposure to butt cheek.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"Patrick Hamman of Des Moines has been arrested for assaulting his father. His weapon of choice was what?"
50% said "His mother's prosthetic leg" - Sadly, she was using it at the time....Not!
12% picked "A 'World's Greatest Dad' mug" - Oh, the irony. Oh, the "no."
No one picked "The family dog" - My fault no one was enticed to pick this one. I should have been more descriptive, but I couldn't figure out which kind of dog would be funny. German Shepherd? Alaskan Malamute? Chihuahua?
The correct answer, which 38% got, was "A bag of Cheetos"
According to the Associated Press,Patrick Hamman, 22, of Des Moines, threw a bag of Cheetos at his father, Michael Hamman, hitting him in the face Sunday night. The bag hit his father's glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose, police said. The evidence? Well, the police report said "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust." Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument. Cheetos, the cheese that goes "Fuck you, Father, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
That's when the lines between news and entertainment are so wonderfully blended, or blurred, as when Senator Fred Thompson announced his candidacy for president on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Particularly apropos since his competitors were in New Hampshire at the time of the Leno taping. They were "grappling" with wimpy questions lobbed at them like fluffy cotton candy softballs posed by Chris Wallace. Thompson, wishing to be more challenged, had to face the hard chin and pointed questions of Jay Leno.
Their exchanged went something like this...
JAY: So, you want to be president? That's gotta be a tough job.
FRED: I'm sure it is, but I'm ready to give it all I can give.
(cue "applause" sign)
JAY: Boy, I bet the food on Air Force One is something. Did you hear about this? Ever since Jimmy Carter left office they stopped serving peanuts.
FRED: I'm a Republican and I offer an alternative.
JAY: Pretzels?
(cue "applause" sign)
JAY: Say, that Iraq War...that's some pickle.
FRED: It sure is, Jay. But I'm ready to give it all I can give.
(cue "applause" sign)
JAY: The Iraq War is like a bank account. There's a penalty for early withdrawal.
(cue "applause" sign)
FRED: (laughing heartily) That's so true. That's so true.
JAY: So, Fred, why announce your run for president on my show? Why not one of the major news programs or hold a press conference?
FRED: Because, Jay, I'm an American. I wanted to reach the American people. And this is America.
(cue "applause" sign)
(cue Johnny Carson spinning in his grave)
That, my friends, is enternewsment!
Can't wait for the State of the Union Address to be delivered on American Idol.
ROBOWRITERS IS TONIGHT!
At 6:30pm at the Uptown Writer's Space, 4802 North Broadway. Bring a sketch or two. Get it read, get feedback. Eat candy. $5.
BLIND DONKEY HOPSCOTCH
Who's your dada?
Opening night is tomorrow night at 7:30pm at the Chicago Cultural Center. Come join us, won't you?
GET IN ON THE NOD
Ever want to read your blog entries to an audience? The Nod is coming up on Wednesday, September 19th. Send us an e-mail with a link to your blog. Send it to thenod.don.joe@gmail.com
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"Nepal Airlines found a unique way to handle technical problems in their aircraft. They did what?"
At 41%, the most popular answer was "Trained attendants to do in-flight repairs" - "There's a creature out on the wing!" "No, that's just Napu working on the engine."
33% thought it might be "Asked passengers to tip the mechanics" - Sheesh, I hope I didn't give any airline officials an idea here. Who's going to risk NOT tipping the mechanic?
6% picked "Reworked schedule to take only short trips" - Yes. Now, they only do flights from the east side of Nepal to the west side of Nepal. "We're about to take off, oh - we just landed."
20% got it right with "Sacrificed goats to appease sky god"
According to Reuters, officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease AkashBhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft. Not to knock anyone's religious beliefs, but when it comes to aircraft repair, I think I have more faith in duct tape than fillet of goat.
In the writing program at Second City, we spend a lot of time telling you what to write and we do a lot to encourage you keep writing. One area we tend to neglect is telling you how to write. Many people don't even realize they don't know how to write. We assume we got that training in school and either it took or it didn't.
I have always had lots of ideas and have done a lot of writing ever since I was a kid. Still, I don't feel like I learned how to write until I was 33 and took a class from Michael McCarthy. Long before the writing program existed in its current form, Mike taught some free-form classes out of the dressing room of the ETC Theater. Mike spent a good portion of one class time actually talking to us about how we approach writing. It was valuable advice that has stuck with me ever since.
The way I used to write was one of two things:
1) Wait to be inspired and then write until the idea comes to fruition or until I feel un-inspired by the same idea.
2) Sit in front of the television with a legal pad and a bag of chips....eat, write, watch, scribble, eat, write, watch, etc. And this is the way I wrote when I had a deadline!
Basically, I really hated the act of writing and only wrote when I had to. It was a chore to me.
Mike suggested a structure to writing, like working out. First, find the time of day that works best for you as a writer. Our brains all work differently and peak at different times. I'm usually best in the mornings. But you should experiment and try different times and see what works best for you and your noggin'.
Like a workout, Mike suggests warming up. The actual time you devote to each step is up to you and your available schedule.
Here's a basic outline:
30 minutes of putzing around - This is to get the blood flowing all over. I usually use the time to tidy up or do the dishes.
30 minutes of reading - It should be something completely unrelated to what you are working on so your brain can devote itself to being fed. Books are nutritious!
45 minutes of writing - This is very important. Stick to the allotted time. At 45 minutes, even if it is mid-sentence, stop! In fact, you'll probably remember better where you were at if you stop mid-sentence.
15 minutes break - This part should be filled with something completely mindless. Crank up the AC/DC and dance with your cat. Do whatever, but do something very physical. Play!
45 minutes of more writing, repeat as necessary.
Again, if you are pressed for time, adjust it. It could easily be 15 minutes of putzing around, 15 minutes of reading and 30 minutes of writing. You'll be amazed at how productive you can be just devoting 10 minutes to each.
By doing it every day, at least five days a week, your body and brain will start to gear up for it.
This is how prolific writers are so prolific. They write. And a structure like this, with putzing around, reading and breaks built in, helps keep you from getting burned out. Writing regularly will also allow you to shake your attachments to ideas and free you up to try different things. You'll be more willing to fail, which can greatly improve the quality of your material.
Writing just 45 minutes a day, I'm able to write and polish at least one 3-5 page sketch a week.
Consistency is the key. With my blog, I write the first draft at night before I go to bed and then finish it in the morning when I get up. My brain tends to work on it while my body sleeps. If there's something I don't like about the first draft, I usually have it solved when I wake up.
Your environment is also important. Make sure you enjoy where you are at when you write. Set up your space so it works for you. Experiment with it. Hemingway wrote standing up. Of course, he shot himself, so take his suggestions with caution. He may not have been getting proper arch support. I sit at a kitchen table and have all sources of music and television turned off. There's usually a cat or two nearby, but they know not to get between me and my keyboard. I prefer quiet so I can better listen to the words I'm writing. Some people prefer to blast music. If I am working on a period piece, I will sometimes play the music from that era in the background or on my breaks. Again, experiment and find what works for you.
Usually when I have a student who consistently brings in material they don't like, they also don't like the situation in which they wrote it. If you're like that, try something different. Or if you are churning out scripts like an assembly line and are feeling a little crispy for it, slow down. Take breaks. Take care of your body. Writing takes energy and the coffee can only get you so far.
"Discussing his post-presidential years in an interview with Robert Draper, President Bush says he expects to be doing what?"
36% thought George would be "Writing books on politics." - Um, sure. Why not? Compassionate Conservatism told through pop-ups. No.
18% picked "Visiting impoverished nations." - No. He only visits countries that have oil. And it's not visiting, it's invading.
9% answered "Helping the poor." - Well, he has been helping the poor all through his administration. He's been helping them become poorer. And he's been making more of them. But, no.
The correct answer which 36% got, "Getting in the car. Getting bored. Going to the ranch."
According to The Guardian, Bush said, "I can just envision getting in the car, getting bored, going down to the ranch." He also has big plans for making money. "I'll give some speeches, to replenish the ol' coffers," says Mr Bush. As ridiculous as him giving speeches sounds, you have to give him props. He's finally willing to work for a living.
September 7 – October 14 Thursday - Saturday @ 7:30 p.m, Sundays @ 3 p.m.
At the Studio Theater in the Chicago Cultural Center, 77 East Randolph Street Tickets are $20 ($15 for students and seniors) 312.742.TIXS (8497) ***ALERT! SPECIAL OPENING WEEKEND DISCOUNT when you get to the box office say “Monkey shines” and touch your nose. You will get $5 off!*******
THE NOD
Greg Wendling of I'm So Tired has joined The Nod. He will be one of our guests in the first half of the show. You can also check out his friend Madge Fairwell, an older woman grappling with a rapidly changing world, at Madge's Musings.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"Two men went on a drinking spree in Soweto, South Africa. What makes their excursion unusual is what?"
29% answered "They posed as police and drank free." - No, and I hope I didn't give anyone any ideas. Or that they at least raise a glass for me.
29% also thought it was "They are both only five years old." - Big, hairy five year olds, apparently, who prefer their milk shaken, not stirred. Nope.
Nobody fell for "They woke up in a front yard sans pants." - Guess it was too normal an occurrence for my readers.
42% got the correct answer, and just a wrong thing to do, is "They stole a hearse with a body in it."
According to the BBC, the men were caught after the hearse ran out of gas and they asked three women they had met at a drinking den to help push the hearse. The men told the women they were on their way to bury the body of a relative but the women told the police. The hearse driver said it was stolen when he parked outside his home to go inside to get money for gas. Stealing a hearse with a body in it sounds like the plot of a bad 80's frat boy movie, but who stops to get money for gas on their way to a cemetery? If I die in South Africa, just feed me to the zebras.
Celebrate by going outside and NOT doing any labor.
In case you miss work, here's a music video from a song called My Cubicle, a parody of James Blunt's You're Beautiful. Written by Keith Hughes, performed by Jym Britton and Scott Bennett. Not sure who cut it to scenes from the classic Mike Judge comedy Office Space. It was posted to YouTube by Tundra77 and has slug for "effectmatrix.com" superimposed into it.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
On Saturday, I asked...
"A woman in Cuero, Texas believes the roadkill she found outside her ranch is none other than what?"
50 % of you chose "The Virgin Mary" - Or Jesus. Or Elvis. Or, no.
No one went for "A leprechaun" or "A unicorn" or "A leprechaun impaled by a unicorn."
50% picked the correct answer "A chupacabra"
According to the Associated Press, Phylis Canion believes the roadkill she found last month outside her ranch was worth putting in a freezer hidden from curious onlookers: Canion believes she may have the head of the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra. Chupacabra is Spanish for "Goat Sucker." A local vet thinks it might just be a strange dog taking up space next to her frozen peas. I think a saw a "Goat Sucker" in Tiajuana, once.
