One of my favorite unintentional genres is the future as seen from the eyes of the past, such as old silent films like Metropolis and Trip to the Moon. It's fun to think about the future and fantasize about how things will be different. So, this week's assignment is to write a scene that takes place fifty years in the future.
To help you get started, make a list of ten of things you do every day. Stuff like: brush teeth, feed cats, make dinner, watch TV, ride the bus, etc. Then make a list of ten that supposes what those activities might be like in the year 2058. Stuff like: teeth replaced by small self-cleaning robots, cats are fed steroids and growth hormones in case you have to eat them, dinner (see cats), TV is beamed into my brain, there's no need, or desire, to ever leave my apartment/work cubicle, etc.
Generating these ideas should help lead you to a scene, even if it's a clash of context showing us what every day life will be like in the future.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Friday, I asked...
"Father Francesco Bazzoffi, a senior priest in Florence, Italy, is under investigation for fraud for doing what?"
50% said "lying about his celibacy" - Safe bet, but not the right answer.
13% said "claiming to be resurrected" - "I died and I came back. I got to heaven's gate and apparently there's now a toll and they want me to bring more money...so pony up, everybody!"
No one went for "saying God speaks to him"
37% got it right with "staging fake exorcisms"
According to the Catholic News Agency, a priest in Florence is being investigated for fraud after allegedly earning millions by performing fake exorcisms. Prosecutors alleged that Father Francesco SaverioBazzoffi would “stage shows” before crowds of more than 400 people at the House of the Sainted Archangels, an organization he founded. The priest’s associates would “pretend to be possessed by demons” and Father Bazzoffi would allegedly exorcise them using obscure rites. The priest would then offer to heal members of the audience who were sick and solicit donations to his organization.
They call it fraud. I call it showmanship. People don't just find religion. You've got to sell it! Father Bazzoffi shouldn't be prosecuted for fraud. He should be given a TV show.
I think titles for sketch comedy reviews are very important. You want something that will catch attention and express a little something about the show, even if it's just an attitude. Typically, they should be brief and easy to remember.
Some of my favorite titles from shows I've been associated with have been...
The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth (just as soon as we're done fucking it) Silence of the Frogs The Stink of Destiny The Armageddon Radio Hour eBay of Pigs Better Living Through Denial and Regret Nudity is the Best Medicine Public Displays of Rejection Separation of Church and Taste There's No "I" in Improv Anton Chekhov's Bastard Child Conrad Brunst presents...Danse Macabre! Tork
ROBOWRITERS
Hey - Robowriters is tomorrow! Saturday at 1pm. Gorilla Tango. 1919 North Milwaukee. $5. Come on by. Even if you want to just check it out.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"When a judge in Lima, Ohio ran out of prospective jurors, he found more where?"
40% said "A nursing home" - I think he might need people who aren't going to sleep, shout or die while on duty.
20% said "A local bar" - This would work if he offered drink specials and complimentary peanuts.
10% said "The BMV" - They went there, waited an hour to talk to someone, and then gave up.
30% got it right with "Wal-Mart"
According to The Lima News, Terry W. Hupp, 51, has been on trial this week accused of 13 charges — six counts of gross sexual imposition and seven counts of rape. It took two days just to seat a jury for the case. Twice in that span, Judge Richard Warren had to dispatch sheriff’s deputies to bring potential jurors to court because the court ran out of prospective jurors. Unsuspecting shoppers were served summonses to appear for jury duty while at Wal-Mart. I think the judge should consider being more efficient. Start holding court in sporting goods.
Yesterday, my Comedy Workshop class did a preview of their show There Might Be Blood to a good-sized audience at Columbia. And in the afternoon, I had my Improv 1 class do a Henry - a stripped down longform that emphasizes scene structure. Both classes did really, really well. Both were filled with nice moments. I'm really proud of them and they are full of very talented people.
However...
I feel like I'm being scanned by a scanner in a David Cronenberg movie when I watch...
- People talking about their emotions instead of feeling them and showing them. - People talking at length about what they are doing or about what they are going to do. - People forcing in jokes or plot rather than organically letting such things emerge. - People on stage having a quiet conversation that I can't hear! - People stopping the momentum of a scene to yack about minutia like what food they are going to order at the restaurant.
(And this isn't exclusive to people just starting out and discovering sketch comedy and improvisation. I see it at the other skit factories, too.)
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"Presidential hopeful John McCain's nickname in high school was what?"
28% said "McBrain" - Only in the context that you might order his noggin from McDonald's. It does seem a little fried.
28% said "McPain" - That would be his nickname for his arthritis.
14% said "McStain" - Nope. He never would have made it this far in politics with a nickname like that.
30% got it right with "McNasty"
According to ABC News, John McCain is a punk. At least that's what the editors of his high school yearbook thought. McCain, who in addition to "Punk" was known as "McNasty" during his high school years. In his yearbook, the editors wrote "His magnetic personality has won for him many life-long friends," the yearbook continued, "but, as magnets must also repel, some have found him hard to get along with." Dude - they just called you a dick in your yearbook! It's in print! I love this biography tour! Where will they take him next? Vietnam to see what his captors wrote about him in their yearbook?
Well - still pounding away on a corporate gig - recording voice-overs, doing rewrites, scrapping ideas and pulling new ones out of my butt - all while maintaining my teaching schedule. Makes for very long days. I am also seeing if I can make it through the work week without wearing jeans. I am very jeans dependent. And I only have two pair that I rely on. It's really not fair to the jeans. They deserve the break.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"A group of third graders in Waycross, Georgia have been suspended because of their plot to do what?"
66% said "Protest the Iraq war" - Yah. They are worried it will still be going on when they are senior citizens.
No one went with "Swap downloaded music" or "Start a prostitution ring"
34% got it right with "Kill their teacher"
According to First Coast News, nine third grade students suspended at Center Elementary in Waycross for an alleged plot to attack their teacher. "This plot was uncovered at the point that something dangerous was brought to the school," says Lt. Dwayne Caswell with Waycross Police. Police say the students were hatching a plan to harm their teacher Friday morning. They even brought items from home to carry out the plan.
Okay, it would be real easy to rail on about violence on TV and in video games and how these kids minds are being poisoned and their parents are lousy, etc, etc, etc. But there's one side of the story that's still missing. How much of an asshole does a teacher have to be to piss off a group of third graders?... to the point of premeditating murder?
"Johnny Diablo recently opened a strip club in Portland, Oregon that only features strippers who are what?"
27% said "Hefty" - All the poles are bent from the use. The strippers lose the dollar bills on their own body.
10% said "Unshaven" - One shouldn't shed during a lap dance.
9% said "Libertarian" - No tipping. Just a flat tax.
54% got it right with "Vegan"
According to the urban travel guide Gridskipper, what might be the world's only vegan strip club opened last month in Portland. There are no leather or other animal products used in any of the on-stage costumes, and most of the strippers say they're vegan as well. Instead of the usual bar grub, the menu has vegan replicas of chicken nuggets and the like. As the owner, a long-time vegan himself, Johnny Diablo, has charmingly put it in interviews, "the only meat we have is up on stage."
A vegan strip club also attracts unusual heckling from the patrons. "Hey, baby! Do organic fries come with that dairy-free soy shake?"
Well, I tried to post a new News Quiz on Friday and Blogger was just having none of that nonsense. I couldn't even get rid of the old one and ended up moving it to the bottom of the page. Any way, coming off a busy week and going into a busy week. The upside is that I got to spend all day Saturday shooting seven fake drive-in movie trailers for an event in a few weeks. We didn't get the budget we wanted, so we ended up taking the original scripts and just doing them on the flying - changing them and coming up with other ways to do them. It was a lot of fun. Here are the movie titles I wrote for the project: Star Truck, Who's Afraid of Virginia the Wolf, Drive Hard 2: Drive Harder, Rock 'n' Roll Trouble, Truckstop of the Dead, Chris (the male version of Christine) and Mother Trucker. Very silly and they look like they are turning out to be very funny. We might end up posting edited version - sans client references - to the Fig website.
SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
I like Southwest Airlines. They tend to be very reliable and the people tend to be very friendly. Lately, though, it seems they are over selling all their flights. All the ones I have been on. While that can be very uncomfortable there can be advantages. On Friday afternoon in Raleigh, they asked for volunteers to step off my flight. You would get a voucher for the cost of the flight plus a hundred dollars. I took it. The next flight was a couple hours later. The Raleigh-Durham airport, by the way, while small, is a great airport. Everything is reasonably priced, the food is good and they have a spa. I killed an hour getting a facial (insert your own joke here) and a neck and shoulders massage. It was great and not very expensive. The best part is that I was able to give my voucher to Julie who bought a round-trip ticket to Orlando for only $30. It was worth sticking around for that.
METALUNA AUDITIONS
WNEP Theater announces auditions for Metaluna and the Amazing Science of the Mind Revue, by Joe Janes and directed by Jen Ellison. Metaluna will be produced at A Red Orchid Theatre, July 17 - August 16. Auditions will take place April 19 & 20, 10am - 4pm at the Peter Jones Gallery ( 1806 W. Cuyler, 2nd Floor). Please prepare 2 minutes of anything: Magic tricks, cooking tips, personal stories, a monologue, etc. To schedule an audition time, please send an email to auditions@wneptheater.org. You may also schedule an audition by calling 773/552-3133 on April 8th, 12pm - 5pm (Calls at any other time will not be accepted.) Walk-ins are welcome, though we cannot guarantee a time for you.
ROBOWRITER ASSIGNMENT
Mr. Othic filled in for me on Saturday and came up with this assignment for generating material... Write a list of 10 songs that you either really loved or hated, then take three of those and let the title, the lyrics, or the music inspire them. Then write down 3 one-line comic premises for each song, then write a scene from one of those.
"Garrett A. Dalton of Connecticut may have been busted on a worker's comp scam when he was seen doing what?"
33% said "Teaching an aerobics" - Feel the burn...and s-t-r-e-t-c-h that lie! No one said "Climbing a tree" or "Giving a lap dance" 66% got it right with "Racing in high heels" According to the Republican-American, Garrett A. dalton, a state correction officer who was collecting workers' compensation because of a back injury has been suspended from his job and arrested after news photographers captured him competing in a radio-sponsored 40-yard dash in high heels. You know, I try to come up with witty things to say here, but all I really have for this guy is...idiot.
