My Grown-Up Bed - SOLD!!!

Well, I think I have a new apartment. The leasing agent hasn't completed all the paper work, but says it looks good, don't worry about it, it's yours. Just the kind of stuff that does make me worry. I'm still looking forward to getting rid of lot of stuff so I can start fresh. Or fresher.

The main stuff I'm looking to sell are the big things.

Like my bed. Portly self-cleaning cat not included.



I love this bed. It marks my graduation from futon mattress to grown-up bed. It's queen size. Has an awesome Serta-Sleeper mattress and box spring. I am notorious for flipping and rotating, so there's no Norman Bates' mother's outlines going on here. The posts are cherry wood and the head and foot are black iron, I believe. It's very sturdy. I have had it for eight years and have taken it apart and put it back together five or six times. I've never had a problem with it.



I paid almost a grand for it. All I'm asking is $200, mattress included. E-mail me at joejanes1065@comcast.net if you are interested.

The BS News Quiz of the Day

Yesterday, I asked...

"A 25-year-old Iowa City drunk driver has been accused of attempting to bribe the police with what?"

25% said "foot massages"
- Well, if you have a skill, work it.

25% said "a night with his mom"
- Well, if your mom has a skill, work it.

25% said "all the loose coins in the ash tray"
- Keep the chewed gum and the broken toothpicks with my compliments, officer.

The remaining 25% got it right with "sandwiches"

According to The Press-Citizen, a drunken driver attempted to get off the hook by offering a police officer Jimmy John's sandwiches. According to police reports, Mark Anthony Booth, 25, of Iowa City was charged with drunken driving and bribery early Sunday morning. Booth was riding with a police officer in a squad car following the arrest when he offered him "free Jimmy John's sandwiches if he was allowed to go home," the report states. The officer declined the offer, to which Booth allegedly responded, "C'mon...Nobody's going to know."

I'm a little speechless. I mean, that's a pretty good deal. What's wrong with that cop? Mark should have sweetened the deal with some chips.

Please Let This Be True...

From James Howard Kunstler via my brother...



Right after this picture, Vice-President Gidget shot a moose and put it on a barbecue spit for everyone to enjoy. Then they went surfing in the Bering Sea and shot whales who were considering abortions.


On closer inspection, the photo looks like it might be fake. Something about that neck.

Thank you, oh, great Internet's search tubes. Sadly, it is a fake.

Celebglitz found the original.



Alas, a boy can still dream.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

" Science writer Kate McAlpine explains the qualities of the Large Hadron Collider - a particle accelerator - via what medium?"

50% said "the world's largest home-made diorama"
- Made from the Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe's shoe box. And a lot of cotton balls and glue.

10% said "pop-up book"
- Pull on this tab to watch the earth crack in two.

10% said "pie chart made with real pie"
- Mmmmm. Photons made of lemon merenge.

30% got it right with "rap song"

According to The Lansing State Journal, "Rap and physics are culturally miles apart," said McAlpine, a 23-year-old Michigan State University graduate and a science writer at CERN, in an e-mail last week, "and I find it amusing to try and throw them together."

McAlpine wrote the lyrics on her 40-minute commutes by public transit from Geneva, convinced a friend to lay down beats and finagled permission to film herself and friends dancing in the underground caverns and tunnels where the experiments will take place.

It's become a bit of a hit on YouTube and physicists seem to really enjoy it. Very white physicists.



Rap IS dead!

McCain - McMILF 2008

(Palin reveals she learned a lot about McCain during the vetting process. J.D. Pooley AFP/Getty Images)

You have to hand it to McCain. He sure knows how to use his military experience on the campaign trail. A year ago, he was a tenacious lone wolf, broke, eating "c" rations on the campaign trail, thumbing rides from speaking engagement to speaking engagement. Now look at that scrappy old man. On Thursday night, 38 million people - and that's just in this country - watched Obama give one of the best acceptance speeches of all time. On Friday, McCain lobs his VP bomb and look at what everyone's been talking about since Obama's landmark speech.

Left wing bloggers and commentators have been going nutty over McCain's VP choice. They are saying he only did it to try to get Hillary's disenchanted supporters. They are also saying that women in America aren't dumb enough to just vote for someone because of their gender. And they are right (although, you must grant me the appeal of two penisless candidates on one ticket.). But that doesn't make McCain's choice wrong. They just missed his intended target. McCain wasn't going after the female voter population with Palin. He's going after 18-year-old men who are at their sexual peak and will be voting in their first presidential election. Genius!

Palin is a hottie. McCain did get a bump in the polls. A bump caused by the simultaneous "schwinging" of potential young republican boners. If McCain is smart, he'll keep her in those tight black business outfits with the pulled back hair and glasses. But do keep her speaking opportunities to a minimum. It ruins the fantasy when you expect to hear Tina Fey and get Archie Bunker. Send her out to as many colleges and high schools as you can. Get her speaking to as many young men as possible - Boy Scouts, Athletic Clubs, Dungeons and Dragons Tournaments. Teach her to speak a little more whispery and pepper her talking points with phrases like "the politicians in Washington have been naughty," "I'm here to discipline the economy," "Those tax and spend democrats need a spanking."

So, don't be surprised come election day when you see a long line of coming-of-age men spending a little extra time in the voting booth "pulling the lever" for McCain-Palin.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Last Friday, I asked...

"An Italian museum has defied Pope Benedict by refusing to remove a statue that depicts what?"

33% said "God as a penguin"
- Although, the nuns were all for this.

25% said "the Virgin Mary topless"
- The first recorded MILF in the Bible.

No one said "Pope Benedict flashing his holy bits"
- "The body of Christ compels you. What does my body do for you?"

42% got it right with "a frog being crucified"

According to The Evening Standard in London, an Italian museum has defied Pope Benedict by refusing to remove "Zuerst die Fuesse" (Feet First), a statue of a crucified green frog clutching a beer mug and an egg.

The Vatican had condemned the modern art sculpture as blasphemous.

The board of the Museion museum in the northern city of Bolzano voted it was a work of art, however. Museum officials in the northern bi-lingual Alto Adige region near the Austrian border said the artist, who died in 1997, considered it a self-portrait illustrating human angst.

The Vatican wrote a letter which said the work "wounds the religious sentiments of so many people who see in the cross the symbol of God's love".

The crucifix is the symbol of God's love? Jesus looks pretty tormented in all the crucifixes I see. Looks more like pain and suffering to me. Wait - that's how I do love. Lesson learned! Thanks, Pope!

Maybe a beer and an egg will replace that wafer and sip of wine at communion. If a parish is looking to fill the pews, that would help.

Labor Day Sale - Philco Jr Model 80! - SOLD!

Philco Jr Model 80 (1932)

Here's one of my favorite things that I have been hauling around for probably ten years or so. It's a really cool cathedral radio. It looks great and could probably work with a little restoration, if you are into that sort of thing.






There's some minor damage to the wood, a little warping and a little splintering. Not noticeable from the front.It is 11 1/2" wide, 14" high and 8" deep.




This is one of those things that I thought would be worth more than it is. eBay auctions on the same model, but in crappy condition, bring in less than $50. Since this is in very good condition, I'm asking $75. If you live outside Chicago and want it shipped to you, you handle the costs of shipping and handling. Interested? Shoot me an e-mail. joejanes1065@comcast.net

Labor Day Sale - Houdini Poster! - SOLD!

Houdini Poster

This limited edition poster is a lithograph that I bought at an art gallery in the Paris Casino in Las Vegas in the summer of 2001. It is an exact recreation of an original 1908 poster. I like the colors, I like magic, I like Houdini, I had made some extra money through commercial work, so, why not?



The poster is 27" x 41". With the frame, its 34" x 48". The frame is nothing special. Basic black plastic with acrylic glass. It's also a little warped in one corner. And it comes with a certificate of authenticity from the Re Society.



Being the savvy art buyer that I am, I picked this baby up for only $650. Seven years later, a search for it on-line puts its value at $325. Unframed.

I'm only asking $200. If you live outside Chicago and want it shipped to you, you handle the costs of shipping and handling. Interested? Shoot me an e-mail. joejanes1065@comcast.net

Aren't We Supposed To Relax on Labor Day?

I have intentionally not scheduled myself for much this weekend. My plan is to clean and throw crap out and put more stuff up for sale. PURGE! I might also be selling that diamond ring to a guy getting ready to pop the question to his girlfriend. Nice guy. Enjoyed meeting him. Hope it works out. The sale and the marriage.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Los Angeles blogger Kevin Cogill was arrested Wednesday for posting what?"

42% said "death threats to Barack Obama"
- Yes, but he didn't pose a real threat.

33% said "drawings of Mickey Mouse as a terrorist"
- Mousama Bin Laden? Hard to get those ears wrapped inside a turban.

No one said "nude pictures of Miley Cyrus"

25% got it right with "pirated songs from Guns 'n' Roses"

According to The Smoking Gun, a Los Angeles man who allegedly posted nine pirated tracks from "Chinese Democracy," the long-overdue album from Guns N' Roses, was arrested today by FBI agents and charged with violating federal copyright laws. According to investigators, Kevin Cogill, 27, first posted the songs to his web site in June. If convicted of the felony count, Cogill faces up to five years in prison.

Guns 'n' Roses apparently wasn't upset about any copyright infringement, but the emotional duress caused by being embarrassed because the music leaked sucked moose balls. Welcome to the jungle, Axl.

Check Back Later

Thanks for stopping by. Busy day today. Check back later for an update. - Joe