...that there is no heaven. If you spend this life focused on going to a blissful afterlife, you're missing - or avoiding - living now. And if I'm wrong, then I have a pleasant surprise coming my way. What? You don't get into heaven if you don't believe in it. I find that difficult to buy. Which Bible is that in? That puts me and many decent people in the same category as murderers and pedophiles. Seems a bit harsh for being pragmatic. Maybe there are levels. I get into heaven, just not into the VIP rooms. Instead of a halo and wings, they hand me a bucket and mop.
...that if you spend your time trying to be liked by as many people as possible, then you live your life like it's a big blob of Play-Doh that other people get to shape. Be your own Fun Factory.
...that John McCain will say and do whatever he thinks will make his constituents like him. He now says he never said he was a maverick. My mother suffers from Alzheimers. If he's not pandering, I am concerned.
...that you can keep your iPad and your iPhone. Love my MacBook, but I'm fine with a book and my non-AT&T Blackberry Tour.
...that the best stress reliever is rubbing my cat's belly. Corporations should strongly consider cat belly breaks. People who are allergic to cats are going to hell. It's in the Bible.
satire, social commentary, sketch comedy, writing, stuff
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Hey, World...
We'll be doing all 365 sketches here in Chicago June 3 - 13. If you can't make it and you, your theater company, comedy group, book club, cult, militia, whatever, want to put up a "365" show, you're welcome to. The only stipulation is that it has to fall within June 3rd and June 13th. Contact me at joejanes1065@gmail.com and we can work out the details.
Peace, Love, Dope,
Joe
Peace, Love, Dope,
Joe
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I Believe...
...that there's nothing inherently wrong with being a republican or republican ideals. The problem is that the GOP has abandoned their core principles and replaced them with fear mongering and hypocrisy. The result being they now have tea baggers, right wing extremists and militia groups who claim them as their own. Nice company. I'd rather hang out with Obama than any high profile republican any day. Except for Steele. Apparently that dude knows how to party.
...that the best Chicago theater is still out there and being done. It's done on a dime, with a lot of gut, and with people smoking real cigarettes on stage.
...that Sandra Bullock shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, look at the guy. Women who are attracted to bad boys shouldn't be shocked when they act like bad boys.
...that if you yell on the senate floor that health care reform will bring Armageddon then you shouldn't wonder why all the mouth breathers are up in arms and inciting violence. However, if you are a God-fearing Christian anti-evolution mouth breather, isn't Armageddon good news? It's the event before the second coming of Christ.
...that Ricky Martin is very brave since he built a career on the ladies wanting to get all La Vida Loca in his tight trousers. But anyone surprised that Ricky Martin is gay was also flabbergasted by George Michael, Clay Aiken, Rock Hudson and Liberace. Yes, Don. Liberace was gay.
...that the best Chicago theater is still out there and being done. It's done on a dime, with a lot of gut, and with people smoking real cigarettes on stage.
...that Sandra Bullock shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, look at the guy. Women who are attracted to bad boys shouldn't be shocked when they act like bad boys.
...that if you yell on the senate floor that health care reform will bring Armageddon then you shouldn't wonder why all the mouth breathers are up in arms and inciting violence. However, if you are a God-fearing Christian anti-evolution mouth breather, isn't Armageddon good news? It's the event before the second coming of Christ.
...that Ricky Martin is very brave since he built a career on the ladies wanting to get all La Vida Loca in his tight trousers. But anyone surprised that Ricky Martin is gay was also flabbergasted by George Michael, Clay Aiken, Rock Hudson and Liberace. Yes, Don. Liberace was gay.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Biting and Smiling
Hey! It's Bite and Smile!
A new website is being built devoted to 365 Sketches. You can see how much has not been done on it by clicking HERE.
I am currently in the midst of rewrites for 365, so it will be awhile before I'm back to updating Bite and Smile on a daily basis. You will certainly find at least a weekly update.
IMPORTANT SURVEY
I am pitching a project and want to know which show you would most want to see based on the title. Please leave your response in the comments section. Thanks.
A new website is being built devoted to 365 Sketches. You can see how much has not been done on it by clicking HERE.
I am currently in the midst of rewrites for 365, so it will be awhile before I'm back to updating Bite and Smile on a daily basis. You will certainly find at least a weekly update.
IMPORTANT SURVEY
I am pitching a project and want to know which show you would most want to see based on the title. Please leave your response in the comments section. Thanks.
"Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis Sade"
"Munster Go Home! as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
"The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
“Bio-Dome as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
“Cocktail as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
"Yor, the Hunter from the Future as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
"Stroker Ace as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
“St. Elmo’s Fire as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
“Star Trek V as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
“Disco Godfather as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade"
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I Believe...
...that there is no such as one true love. Do you really think your only purpose on this planet is to find and hold on to some soul booty? We get tied up looking for perpetual fireworks in relationships and then blame the other person when the rocket blasts peter out to just sparklers and smoke bombs. Fireworks are fun. They just don't make an interesting story in the long run. You know, like a Transformers movie
...that the polls on what the majority of Americans want when it comes to healthcare are deceptive. According to Gallup, before passage, a slim majority opposed the bill. After passage, 49% said they approved and 40% disapproved. 11% moved to Costa Rica.
...that it's really a sad state of affairs in this country when one looks forward to a vacation in order to get things done.
...that there's something to be said for consistency when it comes to things like working out or practicing your art. The universe pays attention when you do something every day at the same time and starts to send rewards your way. But only if you engage in it fully and get value out of it. If what you're doing every day without fail is planting your butt in a chair and staring at a company computer that won't even let you access porn, well, you die a little.
...that the polls on what the majority of Americans want when it comes to healthcare are deceptive. According to Gallup, before passage, a slim majority opposed the bill. After passage, 49% said they approved and 40% disapproved. 11% moved to Costa Rica.
...that it's really a sad state of affairs in this country when one looks forward to a vacation in order to get things done.
...that there's something to be said for consistency when it comes to things like working out or practicing your art. The universe pays attention when you do something every day at the same time and starts to send rewards your way. But only if you engage in it fully and get value out of it. If what you're doing every day without fail is planting your butt in a chair and staring at a company computer that won't even let you access porn, well, you die a little.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Axe Cop
Monday, March 22, 2010
Hey
So... The MacBook is up and running and looks great. I also upgraded my OS system and now can't print anything on my printer. WTF, Epson?
I have been up to my elbows working on prepping 365. We have auditions this Saturday. All 74 slots are filled and we have a waiting list. All 26 directors are lined up, which is just the most insane thing ever. They're all awesome and we'll produce 26 miracles for 365.
I have a Writing 6 show up called Wait...It Gets Better and we keep selling out. I have an Advanced Writing show coming up in April called AnthroApology 101 and am spending a good chunk of today editing all our scenes into a master script.
It's spring break at Columbia and I'm grateful because it means I can get some other work done - hey, that's not a break!
And America passed a Healthcare Bill that is NOT reform, but is a lot better than what was going on and will hopefully lead to real reform (public option or single payer).
What's in the bill that takes effect immediately? I'm going to the dentist next week and will also get a complimentary abortion.
I have been up to my elbows working on prepping 365. We have auditions this Saturday. All 74 slots are filled and we have a waiting list. All 26 directors are lined up, which is just the most insane thing ever. They're all awesome and we'll produce 26 miracles for 365.
I have a Writing 6 show up called Wait...It Gets Better and we keep selling out. I have an Advanced Writing show coming up in April called AnthroApology 101 and am spending a good chunk of today editing all our scenes into a master script.
It's spring break at Columbia and I'm grateful because it means I can get some other work done - hey, that's not a break!
And America passed a Healthcare Bill that is NOT reform, but is a lot better than what was going on and will hopefully lead to real reform (public option or single payer).
What's in the bill that takes effect immediately? I'm going to the dentist next week and will also get a complimentary abortion.
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