Auditioning for Improvisation

Currently at Columbia College, we are in what is known as "J Term." The "J," I am quite certain, stands for January. Being on semesters at Columbia leaves a huge month-and-a-half holiday break. J Term is a way for students to make some extra credit and boost their grade point averages while taking courses that are geared towards their majors. The classes are longer than usual, but also fewer in number, like a summer term.

Last year, I proposed a class in how to audition for improvisation. The class works on two fronts. For those uninitiated in auditioning for a Second City or a ComedySportz, it takes the mystery out of it. For those just plain new to the audition process, it provides information and an application opportunity to give yourself more of a professional edge. If I am auditioning for a show and I narrow a choice down to two people of similar qualities, I'm going to go with the one who came across the most professional.

Here are a list of audition guidelines compiled from my own experience on both sides of the table...

- Unless given specific instructions on when to arrive, arrive fifteen minutes early. Too early, and you might be an unintended inconvenience for the hosts. Too late, and it's disruptive. If you stroll in right on time, you have not allowed for any information sheet you need to fill out or any processing they might need to do with your headshot and resume. Most adjudicators like to have a chance to look over your headshot and resume before you enter the room.

- Make sure you have a contact number for the people you are auditioning for. If you are going to be late, CALL! If you are unable to make the audition, CALL! Nothing worse than scheduling a slot and not showing up. Even if you have just changed your mind about auditioning for that particular group, CALL! You don't have to tell them why, just that you are no longer available.

- Improv auditions are often held in groups. Connect with the people you are auditioning with. This may mean simply meeting them, but could also mean playing a quick circle game before going in. Another reason to arrive early.

- Bring a good pen. More than likely you'll need to fill out an information sheet and more than likely the pen they'll provide you is a piece of crap ballpoint with toothmarks. And fill out the info sheet honestly without trying to be funny. The audition is your opportunity to show you can get laughs through quality improvisation.

- Bring a calendar in case they need to consider your availability.

- Bring a current headshot and resume. The headshot should look like you. A pleasant smile is fine, no need for your headshot to be wacky. The resume should clearly state your name, contact information, and stage experience. Make sure plays are separate from improv. Don't lie and don't joke on your resume. Your headshot and resume are a little piece of you.

- Dress like you care. Business casual is always a good way to go. You look nice and comfortable. Make sure you are wearing something you feel at ease moving around in and, crawling on the floor in, if called to. Avoid ratty jeans, big heels, noisy shoes, flashy clothing of any kind, t-shirts (period) and hats. NO HATS! It hides part of your face, reads like you are uncomfortable and lacking confidence and, for women especially, it means you are probably a nut.

- If you don't know, ask. Improv games come by many different names. If you are asked to do a game you have never heard of, ask about it. And then jump in big. Even if it is a game you have never heard of or played before.

- If you are asked a question about yourself, just answer honestly. No need to try to be funny.

- This goes without saying for most of you who read this, but don't bring props. Yes, this has happened to me.

- Don't try to socialize with the adjudicators. If you know one of them, a little smile or nod is fine, but keep your demeanor friendly and professional. Come in, do your best, then leave. Don't hang out afterwards! And definitely don't ask how you did!

- If you run into the people that ran the audition later, don't ask about the audition. If they have information to tell you or ask you about, they will. If it's at a bar or restaurant, give them their space and privacy.

- Take care of yourself after the audition. You didn't do as bad as you think, but you also didn't do as well. Some retrospection on how you did and could do better is fine, but don't dwell on it. Go hang out with friends, go to work, go to a movie. Move on with your life. If you do have a relationship with one of the persons who ran the audition, it's okay to graciously ask them for feedback, but wait a few days.

Ultimately, what the judges are looking for is subjective. If you show up like a pro and demonstrate solid, basic improv skills, you have a better shot than most.

Let me know in the comment section if you have an addendum to this list.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"David Binner of Doylestown, PA almost had a disorderly conduct charge added to a $5 parking ticket when he did what?"

33% said "wiped the ticket on his ass"
- If I were the cop, I would then make him eat it.

22% said kept "cursing at his grandmother"
- You never know. She may have deserved it.

No one said "plowed into the cop's car as he sped away"

45% got it right with "wrote an obscene message on his check"

According to the AP, a man who wrote a vulgar message on the memo line of a check he used to pay a $5 parking ticket has apologized in writing, leading police to drop a disorderly conduct charge against him. Clerks were offended by the message, and the disorderly conduct charge was filed because the comment was obscene, police Chief James Donnelly said. Yep. David dropped the F-bomb on his memo line. I always wondered what people used that for. I wish those people in the VISA check card commercials would insist on paying with a check and use the memo line to tell all those Busby Berkley shoppers to fuck off.

Kick It, Yo

Last week, I received an e-mail from Ken Robertson, an actor, improviser, writer and occasional reluctant director in San Francisco. Ken has run into a problem that I think most everyone runs into eventually, even in New York and Los Angeles. He states, "I’ve pretty much hit the wall for the level of teaching offered in out-of-town-intensives and over-the-Internet classes, as well as the limit of sketch-writing instruction I can find in San Francisco. And relocation to Chicago ain’t likely anytime soon." I can relate to this. In Chicago, I don't feel anyone is offering a sketch writing class that would benefit me at this stage in my development, but I think it's important to always be receiving coaching on the quality of your work. . In connection with this dilemma, Ken had some specific questions for me.

What sort of practice do you do on a daily \ weekly basis to keep yourself sharp and improve your writing?

- I paint myself into corners where I have to write. This blog is one example. I will also get involved in projects like 24-Hour Play festivals where there is a huge time crunch to produce material. It's also helpful to develop relationships with theaters that produce original material. WNEP often has writing sessions for generating material for shows. The Armageddon Radio Hour and Soiree Dada: Blinde Essel Hopse are two recent ones. Currently, I am working with them on a series of pieces based on Edward Hopper paintings. Robot vs Dinosaur also keeps me producing material on-goingly. Projects like these have also helped me professionally when I have to create material under a deadline. San Francisco has a rep for being a bit of a theater town, there must be somebody there doing something you like.

What things do you aim for \ look for when you work to improve your pieces (or your writing in general)?

- I usually just write to tell a story. However, I will always share what I have written with like-minded folks whose feedback I respect. This is important. The improvement usually comes in the re-write. They will tell me if I need to make something clearer, or more focused. Sometimes I will set out to emulate someone's style which helps expand my range. All the guys in Robot vs Dinosaur have unique absurd intelligent styles and I will sometimes try to write a "Nat" piece or a "Greg" piece. Or I will challenge myself by trying to write a silent scene, or a satirical piece, etc.

What sorts of actions would you recommend to someone like myself (working solo or at least in an area without a group of accomplished sketch writers) who wants to improve their sketch and comedy writing?

- I would recommend taking non-sketch writing classes and workshops and bringing what you learn into your sketch work. I will sometimes take classes in screenwriting or playwrighting to do this. But I also think classes in short story writing or poetry would also be beneficial. Fundamentally, all writing tries to achieve the same thing, but takes a different road to get there. I would also try to find one or two other like-minded writers that you can meet with regularly and give one another constructive feedback. They don't have to be accomplished, just people whose opinion you trust. And then get that material up in front of an audience. They're the ones who will give you the most honest feedback.

I hope that was helpful to you, Ken, and to others. If anyone else has questions about sketch writing, please send them along to rvdchicago@comcast.net.




THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

On Friday, I asked...

"Shona Adams, the owner of a look-alike agency in London, hopes to make a fortune off her newest client who looks like whom?"

40% said "A midget Mr. Bean"
- Only in my fantasies.

40% said "Benazir Bhutto"
- Yep. That would be sick, but the right answer is even worse.

10% said "Princess Di"
- Oh, she already has one. And for an extra 10 bucks, she'll pole dance.

10% got it right with "Maddie McCann"

According to The Sun, the boss of a lookalike agency who hopes to make a fortune out of a little Madeleine McCann double said last night: “It’s not sinister – it’s entertainment.” Shona Adams reckons three-year-old Kelsey Lynn Kudla’s similarity to missing Maddie could earn her £9MILLION for starring in a proposed feature film about the vanished tot. A film that only exists in Shona Adams' mind, by the way. This is just horrifying. Maddie's parents, of course, are deeply disturbed by all this. If there was a line between sinister and entertainment before this, Shona Adams has obliterated it. However, the person who should be really upset is Raph Fiennes. On the Juliet Adams Model Agnecy's Look-a-Likes page, they have this listed as his picture.

Saturday Morning Cartoons!

Fantastic Voyage (1968)




Here's a little gem I just barely remember watching. The delightfully hammy and ham-fisted opening jogged a lot of memories. This was a late morning entry when channels were starting to shift to live action programing. Loosely based on the 1966 movie, this cartoon featured the Combined Miniature Detection Force (CMDF), who, after being shrunk to microscopic size, were sent on missions to stop mysterious threats to freedom. That's right, freedom! The Team consisted on Commander Jonathan Kidd, Physician Erica Lane, Guru, a mystic, and Busby Birdwell, the pilot and designer of their ship, the Voyager. The ship is very similar to the one in the film, but all the characters are different. Ted Knight (News Anchor Ted Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show) provided many of the voices.

Here's the opening...



If you'd like to see a full episode, visit Saturday Morning Blog.

writing advice for Ken

Ken Robertson

I’m an actor, improvisor, writer and occasional reluctant director in San Francisco.

The problem I’ve run into is that I’ve pretty much hit the wall for the level of teaching offered in out-of-town-intensives and over-the-internet classes, as well as the limit of sketch-writing instruction I can find in San Francisco. And relocation to Chicago ain’t likely anytime soon.

Perhaps just some simple illumination on how you approach your own work would help – things like:

• What sort of practice do you do on a daily \ weekly basis to keep yourself sharp and improve your writing? (I am going back and doing the robowriter assignments on your blog)

• What things do you aim for \ look for when you work to improve your pieces (or your writing in general)? More connection to the characters, more absurdity \ randomness to break predictability, clarifying what the piece is saying, etc)

What sorts of actions would you recommend to someone like myself (working solo or at least in an area without a group of accomplished sketch writers) who wants to improve their sketch and comedy writing?

Cheetahs!

Robot vs Dinosaur had its first live performance in Chicago last night at Sketchfest and it went exceedingly well. Chris Othic did a bang up job directing it, we wrote a smart and funny script and the cast delivered it with a lot of energy and absurdity. Previous to RvD, most of our group had performed at Sketchfest as Teatro Bastardo for the last four years. This was far and away our best show. One of my favorite moments - and I fully and selfishly take credit for coming up with this idea - is when a scientist (Tim Huerlin) takes his daughter (Kate Lambert) back in time to the moment Lee Harvey Oswald (Geoff Crump) shot John F. Kennedy. After Oswald takes his first shot, he pulls his rifle back in the window and we hear two more shots. A puzzled Oswald just shrugs.

Now, it's time to go back to the drawing board to add at least another thirty minutes of material and start gearing toward a spring run of the show.

We were followed on the bill by Johnny's Regret who rocked hard. Their show was a bit too conventional for my taste, but man do these cats have energy to burn. They did a fencing scene that floored me.

The theater was very full, a nice surprise considering it was a Thursday and raining miserably outside.




WHY ARE WE HERE?

Sometimes I get a little depressed. I read the news, I get in an argument with someone, I go into a spiritual funk and wonder what life is all about. Why are we here on this planet? Then I see something like this and it all becomes clear. We're here to have fun with robots!





THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Manufacturers Leggett & Platt, Inc have unveiled a new bed that does NOT feature which of the following?"

34% said "snore detector"
- Nope. It's got one.

No one answered "wireless internet" or "iPod dock" because it does, indeed, have those.

66% got it right with "espresso machine"

According to the AP, Leggett & Platt Inc. plans to sell a tricked-out place of rest it calls the Starry Night Sleep Technology Bed, mattresses included. The bed incorporates features like wireless Internet connectivity, an iPod dock, a surround sound speaker system, LCD projector, dual temperature controls and DVR capability. No espresso machine - they probably didn't think of it - but it does include a snore detector. The bed will elevate half of the bed 7 degrees if a user is snoring and then return to the original position once the snoring stops. If you snore a second time, it whacks you with a pillow. A third time and it makes you go sleep on the couch.

The bed costs anywhere from $20,000 to $50,000 and looks like this...



Pretty sexy, eh? Well, yeah, if you're a nerd who always wanted to sleep inside of his cream-colored IBM computer from the '90's. What's with the Frankenstein bolt posts? Can we at least put a racing stripe on this thing?

The Greatest Stories Never Told...TOLD!

Tonight is Robot vs Dinosaur's production of The Greatest Stories Never Told...Told! at Chicago Sketchfest at 8pm at the Theatre Building - Belmont and Racine. We will be in the South Theater along with Johnny's Regret. Tickets are $12 at the door. Please come check out our historically inaccurate adventurous shenanigans.


ROBOWRITERS UPDATE!

Robowriters in on the move. We will be in a new place at a new time starting in February. Love the Uptown Writer's Space, but we have outgrown it. We need a space where we can do table reads and jump up on our feet and move around and be loud (Geoff Crump is a very loud man). As soon as the details are finalized, I will post them.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Two men in New York have been arrested for bringing what to a check-cashing store?"

10% said "A wide selection of pay stubs"
- Go ahead. Pick one. They're all me. I sometimes go by Gloria. And Rufus. Or Carl.

10% said "A sling shot"
- That's right. Dennis the Menace has turned to a life of crime since Bart Simpson has stolen his thunder.

30% said "A stolen wallet"
- Just trying to do a good deed and make a little money.

50% got it right with "A dead man"

According to the Associated Press, Detective Travis Rapp saw David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare wheeling a rigid, pale body down a Manhattan street in a red office chair, drawing a crowd of suspicious onlookers. The man was dead, and two of his friends had hauled his corpse to a store to cash his $355 Social Security check. The trouble began when Dalaia and O'Hare tried to cash Virgilio Cintron's check at a store. The man at the counter told them that Cintron had to be present, so they went back to his apartment, which one of the suspects shared with the dead man. Well, the counter guy never said the man had to be alive! No foul play is suspected previous to the death, just after.

I Believe George W. Bush Should Be Impeached

Don and I struggled the most with this part of the show. We wanted to be accurate, but also wanted it to sound like us speaking. I'm happy with what we ended up with and that we didn't give up on it. Here are my reasons from the show, with the complete tirade at the end.

I BELIEVE GEORGE W. BUSH SHOULD BE IMPEACHED.

– George W. Bush should be impeached for committing fraud. He lied to us and intentionally misled Congress and the American people about the reasons for the Iraq war.

– “President” Bush has abused his power by violating the rights of, well, everyone, by arbitrarily detaining people indefinitely inside and outside the United States, without due process, without charges, and with limited – if any – access to counsel or courts. People are innocent in this country until proven guilty. That’s Law 101. Everyone knows that, or should know that. This is what we get for having a “C” student in office. A student who probably pulled strings to have his grades raised to a “C.”

- Bush has abused his power and broken the law by allowing his administration to condone torture. Torture does not work, George. “24” is not a docu-drama.

- He has obstructed justice by having his current and former staff ignore subpoenas, destroy tapes, delete e-mails, create phantom e-mail accounts, shred documents and obfuscate (good word) the truth. He is destroying the checks and balances system of our government and flipping us the bird.

– He has alienated us globally by completely turning his back on agreements that don’t suit his agenda to make more money for corporations. It is not in the best interest of America to turn our back on basic human rights to justice, healthcare and a clean environment.

(at this point, Don and I went into a simultaneous rant)

– Most appalling to me is his continual lying about being fiscally responsible. He has led us into an unwarranted war that is going to cost us, and our children, and our grandchildren trillions, TRILLIONS, of dollars. Apparently, when he says “No Child Left Behind” he means he’s dragging us all into debt and poverty. Soon it will be “No CHUD Left Behind.” He has pooched our economy. The Canadian dollar is worth more than the US dollar? How bad do you have to run things into the ground for THAT to happen? He has sacrificed the lives of brave Americans and innocent Iraqis for control of oil – a dying, nonrenewable resource for energy. He is trading blood for oil, which I wouldn’t mind, if it were his blood and the blood of his corporate cronies. He is bankrupting America while eliminating the middle class. He’s turning our country into the “Land of the Dead.” That’s right, that’s two horror movie references. We are living in a fucking horror film. Every time his administration breaks the law and I think they are dead, they keep getting back up and coming at us with “executive privilege” and machetes. Forget September 11th. Every day is Friday the 13th in America. Three references! He and his administration are addicted to greed and power and our congress is full of pansy enablers – all of them blatantly disregarding the will of the people. He is raping this planet while telling us to just relax and enjoy it. And then do some shopping. The world is fucked. The country is fucked. We are fucked.

DON – WE are fucked.

JOE –Stop being afraid.

DON – Start being angry.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Akron rapper Dan Miller recently changed his name legally to what?"

75% said "Rubber Z"
- Nope. But Retreadz might be a better name.

12% said "D'Eminem2"
- Same problem I have with Eminem's name. Reminds me too much of the word "enema."

No one picked "Daniel Michael Miller II"
- Which is his real name making him the whitest rapper in the world.

13% got it right with "The Dan Miller Experience"

According to The Associated Press, the former Dan Miller, 24, has legally changed his name to "The" Dan Miller Experience. His first name is "The" Dan, with the quotation marks. His middle name is Miller and his last name is Experience. Said Experience: "I like to do little things in my life that amuse me. This amuses me." I do think it is a step up from his original name and is probably more helpful to his entertainment career. But if that flops, look for "The" Dan Miller Experience on a McDonald's name tag near you.