RoboWriters.1pm - 3pm. Gorilla Tango. 1919 N. Milwaukee near Western. $5. Be there. Foo'.
ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR.
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 50,300 (up 200 from Wednesday)
If you just search "impeach Bush," it's 1,760,000 hits
Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
A website called Sustainable Enterprises considers Governor Bush the least sustainable president ever and calls for impeachment. Click here to find out why.
I am notoriously curious. It is in my nature. As a kid, I would always get in trouble for running ahead of everyone or wandering off. Especially at shopping malls and amusement parks. I would be a modern day parent's nightmare. I would be stuffed with Ritalin and strapped into a harness and leash. Thank God people didn't know how to properly raise kids when I was growing up.
I still have the same pull towards exploration. When traveling, I will always make time, usually early in the morning, to walk around the neighborhood. And no matter where I am, I always check out the sidewalk or the floor. I find some interesting things this way; a twenty dollar bill, a grocery list, a business card for stump grinding, and just a few days ago, a poem.
What's interesting about this poem is that someone didn't lose it. They left it to be found. I was in the alcove of a coffee shop when I saw an envelope on top of a stack of outdated free newspapers. Handwritten on the envelope, half printed, half cursive, was...
Fourteen: one free poem
And here it is (click to enlarge)....
Is it a good poem or not? I'll leave that up to you. I like the last line. Go ahead an e-mail M. L. Lachney while I look around for another poem on the ground.
ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR.
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 50,300 (up 200 from Wednesday)
Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
What's interesting that I hadn't noticed before is how many videos pop up when you search "impeach Bush now." Didn't get your morning cup of coffee? Fear not, here's rebel comic George Carlin to wake your ass up.
ROBOWRITERS TOMORROW
RoboWriters. Saturday. 1pm - 3pm. Gorilla Tango. 1919 N. Milwaukee near Western. $5. Be there. Foo'.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"Police officers in Vancouver, Washington engaged in a chase with Stephen Ray Castor who was driving a what?"
75% said, or at least hoped, it was "Segway" - "Try to block him off! Lean, dammit, lean like the wind!"
25% said "Unicycle" - But really it was the juggling while intoxicated that raised the police's ire.
No one thought it was a "Golf Cart"
And no one picked the right answer, either. "Lawn Mower"
According to The Columbian, Stephen Ray Castor, 53, allegedly broke a window of a man’s home in the 700 block of West 27th Street with a lawn chair, then led police on a 3-mph pursuit in a riding lawn mower about 5 p.m. Monday. It was a dangerous low-speed chase. The police were finally able to apprehend Castor by, well, walking up to him and grabbing him. Whew!
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 50,300 (up 200 from yesterday)
Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
Here's a fun website that popped up on my "impeach Bush now"search...The White House Gift Shop. I love that this place exists. they have some very funny products.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"A theater company in Royal Oak, Michigan is raising funds for its upcoming production of 'Urinetown' by selling what?"
75% said "Urinal Cakes Made of Real Cake" - ironically, those are called Ding Dongs.
25% said "Water Bottles" - Useful going in and coming out.
No one said "Depends Undergarments"
Nor did any get the right answer, "Toilet Seats"
According to The Detroit Free Press, the bathroom puns are, well, flowing freely in Royal Oak at the town’s community theater group. Stagecrafters plans to auction toilet seats ornately decorated by professional artists to raise funds for their production of Urinetown. The decorated seats carry such names as “Royal Flush,” for one with playing cards mounted on its seat and a faux jeweled crown on the lid; “Bottom of the 9th” for another that features baseball motifs, including Detroit Tiger stripes; and “What Will You Spell This Time?” for a seat and lid covered in computer circuitry and keyboard keys.
I wonder if there's one for critics... "Great. More crap."
You may recall last October when I moved that I ran into some issues with Comcast. Basically, unbeknownst to me, instead of transferring the service, they canceled it and started a new account. So, for almost a full week, I was without Internet and without a clue as to what caused it. Friends who sent me e-mails reported them bouncing back. This came at a time I had sent out some resumes and writing samples and was also prepping for a corporate gig. Horrible timing. It sucked. It took going through their website and chatting with a techie to figure out what had happened. He quickly re-established my e-mail accounts. My biggest complaint was having a problem and not being able to get someone to tell me what was going on immediately. Then I got a huge bill for almost $400 filled with a lot of start-up costs. I spoke with a billing rep - the easiest way to talk to a human being on the phone at Comcast is when money is involved - and, you know what? They were great. They were personable, friendly, acknowledged the mistake, apologized and then knocked the size of the bill down farther than I expected.
That was last October. On Saturday evening, I had an incoming call from Philadelphia. If I don't recognize the number and am not expecting a call, I let it go to voice-mail. It was a vp from Comcast calling to apologize for my problem with Comcast and assured me someone locally would be contacting me about resolving it. After I listened to it, he called back and I picked up. He had realized that my complaint was from 2007. He was super nice and gave me his contact info and let me know if I ever had a problem with Comcast to give him a call.
Here's what's happening. Comcast now has people surfing the blogosphere looking for posts where people complain about the cable giant. They were a little late on my October complaints, but I have to give them credit. They realize there's a problem with people not getting the service they need and they are responding to it in a very personal way. As much as I want to paint huge corporations as evil necessities, they are, ultimately, made up of people. People who might actually care about their job and care about you.
This, of course, goes against my cynical nature and I really want to throw in a "that's what an evil corporation would want you to think" safety net for my ego. I'll refrain, for now. If only I could make them get rid of those annoying commercials where they dub in snippets of songs for dialogue.
FOREIGN POLICY INSTRUCTION MANUAL
Hillary Clinton says you should vote for her over Barack Obama because she won't need to consult an instruction manual when it comes to foreign policy. To me, that's not an asset. If there is a foreign policy manual in Washington, it, like many instruction manuals, is indecipherable and outdated. It needs to be thrown out. If she knows foreign policy so well its because she knows how its been done, not how it could be done. I think Obama will throw the instruction manual away and take the opportunity to write a new one.
ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 50,100 (up 500 from yesterday)
Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
"Neil Jorgensen was fired from the Riverside Casino in Iowa for repeatedly asking for what?"
33% said "A new uniform" - Nope. His vest with casino-approved flair was in fine working order.
33% said "Free booze" - More of a political cry, really. He was hoping to liberate alcohol from its bottles.
No one thought it was "A raise" - It just caused some confusion at the poker tables, is all.
34% got it right with "A prostitute"
According to The Des Moines Register, at a benefits hearing, Neil Jorgensen, 62, who worked at the Riverside Casino south of Iowa City, said he should not have been fired for demanding that his co-workers provide him with prostitutes because the casino promotes Las Vegas-style gaming. He was fired after he was given a $100 Riverside gift certificate and a free night's stay at the casino hotel in recognition of a year's employment with the company. "I went to Ruthie's, the nice steakhouse within the casino, and I had a cosmopolitan or two and a bottle of wine and a really good dinner." He said he went to his hotel room about midnight and an hour later, he said, he called the managers "and asked for a hooker." After the managers refused to help procure a prostitute for him, Jorgensen called someone at the adjacent resort and made the same request. The casino's human resources director, Tim Donovan, testified that hotel workers were then sent to Jorgensen's room to insist that he stop calling for prostitutes. "When the hotel supervisor knocked on the door, Mr. Jorgensen answered the door in the nude," Donovan testified. Jorgensen was fired the next day.
Clearly, the problem isn't that he asked for a prostitute. It's that he blew his $100 gift certificate on cosmos, wine and steak and had nothing left over. He should have just skipped dinner and used his money on a $100 hand job from Gert in the employee cafeteria.
As many of you know, I'm not a big fan of the use of TV parody in sketch revues. Mostly because they aren't done very well. They rely heavily on familiarity with the source material and don't say much more than "hey, look how stupid this is!" That's not much of a revelation for most of what's on television. I also feel that parody works best in its own medium.
The assignment this week is to write a TV parody for the stage and do it well.
How do you do that?
Imitate it well.
Know your source material well. Pick as your target programs or commercials that you know well, either because you love them, they are a guilty pleasure for you, or they bug you so much you know every detail because watching the show is like watching a train wreck. Know the elements that uniquely make your subject the subject. And be specific. Don't go for making fun of all reality TV shows. There's a huge difference between Supernanny and Survivor. Even shows that seem similar, like the NBC evening news and ABC evening news, have distinctions. And as you pick your target, keep in mind that serious programs are easier to parody than comedies. Dumb comedies are already dumb and its hard to come up with a viable angle that isn't just as dumb. Or dumb enough. Shows that take themselves seriously are already asking for it. Write you scene almost as if you were writing an episode of the show itself.
Also key for this to be successful is casting. You need actors who can emulate the originals without any "wink-wink, nudge-nudge" going on about their performances. They need to take it as seriously as if they were in the real deal.
Exaggerate it.
Once you know what makes a show unique, exaggerate the hell out of it. Even if the TV pitchman announcer is already over-the-top, make him more over-the-top.
Change one thing about the source material and exploit it.
Most successful parodies only change one thing about the original. Many writers try to pack in as many funny ha-ha's as they can, thus diluting the impact of their parody. There's a very funny "24" parody making the rounds. It's a good example of imitate, exaggerate and change one thing. They technically imitate the style of the show well and the actors do a good job of playing it straight with "24" intensity and the one thing they changed? Instead of taking place in the present, it takes place in 1994. I won't ruin any of the gags for you, but imagine high-tech "24" saddled with mid-90's technology and how it would affect Jack Bauer trying to save the world.
ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 49,600 (up 1,900 since yesterday)
Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
Playing off the Bush administration use of Iraqi Deck of Death playing cards, satirist Jerry Vasilatos has created a deck of cards called Royal Flush: Impeach Bush Now. According to the creator each card depicts a reason why he feels President George W. Bush should be removed from office via impeachment. You can read more about it HERE.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"In order to 'feng shui' their store, one thing owners of a California McDonald's did was what?"
60% said "Start to individually arrange french fries in their boxes" - Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the grease. Am I right?
10% said "Made Ronald barefoot" - Apparently, that's a health code violation, even for clowns and statues.
Nobody said "Paint clouds on the walls"
And 30% got it right with "Add leather chairs"
According to the AP, the only familiar signs at the McDonald's in this Hacienda Heights, California community are the golden arches, the drive-through and the menu. Gone are the plastic furniture, Ronald McDonald and the red and yellow palette that has defined the world's largest hamburger chain. Leather seats, earth tones, bamboo plants and water trickling down glass panels have taken their place. The makeover is part of the attempt by McDonald's Corp. in recent years to remodel hundreds of its restaurants to attract more patrons with unique decor and amenities that might entice them stay awhile and to return.
The Playland has also been replaced with a Zen meditation garden and instead of Happy Meals they have Content Meals.
Watched the Oscars from start to finish last night for the first time in a long time. I usually end up forgetting about the Oscars and committing myself to something else and then either catching just the last half hour or reading about it the next day. I love movies, but I don't feel the urge to rush out and see everything, even if I'm pretty sure it's good. I know I will eventually see it somewhere down the line.
Last night seemed like a powerhouse of movies with some amazing actors all around. There were only three films I was familiar with; Ratatouille, No Country For Old Men and Sweeney Todd. Ratatouille and NCFOM fared very well. Sweeney Todd was criminally overlooked and, as I recall, only got one award for art direction. When I get around to seeing Juno and Atonement, I better leave the theater with a good understanding why they were up for Best Picture over Tim Burton's masterpiece.
The commercials, however, reminded me of the Super Bowl. I don't recall the commercials ever having such a huge part of the evening before. There were three different contests going on; one for Dove where viewers were asked to vote between a suckyDIY Dove commercial and a slightly not-as-sucky DIY Dove commercial, something from Diet Coke where you had to go to their website to be entered into a contest to win Heidi Klum's dress - an idea I would find more interesting if Heidi Klum were not aware of it and it was for whatever she happened to be wearing at the time contest officials corner her and show her the fine print in her cola contract, and I don't remember the third contest at all. It seems odd to me to have sponsors showing commercials that encourage you to move away from the television to participate in their contests.
Most appalling were the Diet Coke commercials. They kept touting ad naseum how they are raising awareness about women's heart disease. Yet they never said anything about women's heart disease! Not one fact, not one educational nugget, not one piece of advice to reduce the chances. All they did was raise awareness that Diet Coke is aware of women's heart disease. And given the sodium and caffeine content of Diet Coke, this is sort of like Marlboro Lights trying to raise awareness of lung and mouth cancer.
ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR
"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits: 47, 700 (up one thousand since Friday) Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, message boards, comment sections, wherever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"
Here is a great grassroots website called Impeach Bush. It has lots of information on the how and why to impeach George Bush. It has a lot of information about events and petitions around the country. It even tracks how often "impeach Bush" is mentioned in the blogosphere.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Friday, I asked...
"To further study motion sickness, German researchers put 72 small fish in what?"
62% said "A washing machine" - They actually were large fish at the start of the experiment, but they shrank.
14% said "A teacup ride" - And after the German researchers studied the effects of fish vomit on their shoes.
12% said "A blender" - No, that was for the the small fish smoothies they made to celebrate the experiment.
12% got it right with "Space"
According to the AP, seventy-two small fish were briefly launched into space by researchers last Thursday, hoping their swimming patterns would shed some light on motion sickness. The thumbnail-sized fish were filmed as they swam around weightlessly in small aquariums during the unmanned space flight. The scientists said the fish landed safely and appeared to be in good condition. Other fish left behind have viewed the videos and believe the whole thing was faked.
