Steamer Trunk - $200

This is a really cool wardrobe steamer trunk that I picked up from a junk shop a decade ago (anyone remember Betty's on Lincoln?). Four drawers, original wooden hangars, can use it as a small dresser or close it and flip it on its side and use it for storage and to put stuff on. It has been used as a dresser, coffee table and entertainment center with me.

There is no logo or any kind of insignia that tells me the manufacturer. Inside the top drawer is a tag for a J. C. Higgins piece of luggage that is NOT the trunk. The tag, via my modest detective skills, place it anywhere from the late 1920's to late 1940's and possibly sold by Sears and Roebuck. Closed and upright, as it is in the picture, it is 42 inches tall, 21 inches wide across the top and 21 inches across the sides.

If you are interested, shoot me an e-mail. I live in Logan Square. You would have to arrange for picking it up. joejanes1065@comcast.net.

UPDATE: 11/29/2008 - This is still available. I have since moved to Rogers Park in the northern part of Chicago along the lake.

Pine Dinner Table - $35 - GONE TO SALVATION ARMY

More From The Jack Thomas Collection of Stray Tables.

This pine table has spent more time as a desk than as a dinner table. The surface area is worn from the years and there's a few nicks, scratches and stains. It's pretty solid, though. It also can be dismantled and remantled with a screwdriver, which I have done on a few moves. It is 29 inches tall, 47 inches long and 29 inches wide. Portly cat not included.

If you are interested, shoot me an e-mail. I live in Logan Square. You would have to arrange for picking it up. joejanes1065@comcast.net.

The Table That Wouldn't Die - $25

I have been in possession of this table for almost twenty years. It used to belong to this guy. Jack moved to LA shortly after I started camping out at his apartment. He left it behind and it has been following me around ever since. It's an odd table. It has a wood panel surface and green metal legs. It is 29 1/2" high, 3' long and 23 1/2" wide. It has served me well in a multi-purpose kind of way. It's great in laundry rooms and helpful for providing extra counter space in kitchens. Makes for extra desk space, too. It ain't pretty, but it's useful and has a nice personality.

If you are interested, shoot me an e-mail. I live in Logan Square. You would have to arrange for picking it up. joejanes1065@comcast.net.

Big Ass Coffee Table - $50 - GONE TO SALVATION ARMY

This is another solid piece of furniture I picked up from CostPlus World Market. It has a few nicks and scratches from the years. It has also done double-duty as a makeshift dinner table, desk and entertainment center. It is 17" tall, 47" long, and 27" wide. Not sure of the weight, but it's always been a two-person move job for me.

If you are interested, shoot me an e-mail. I live in Logan Square. You would have to arrange for picking it up. joejanes1065@comcast.net.

Vote, Foo's!

I have a secret. I thought I might not vote this year. Total f-up on my part. My driver's license still has the address of my old apartment and I'm moving out of this one October 1st. And since you need verification of your new address, like a utility bill, I didn't think I'd have one in time for any last minute registration.

I even thought about registering under the old address, but there's no guarantee I'd get it forwarded in time, if at all.

On election day, I was just going to cross my fingers and hope enough people vote for my candidates to carry the day with wide margins.

That's probably not going to happen. As we have witnessed in the last two presidential elections, the game seems to be to keep it as close as possible. Shut out as many people as possible or deter them from voting by lying to them about when and where to vote, or simply, throw a wrench in the machine.

The only way to combat this is for every eligible voter to get out there and make sure his or her voice is heard. Don't screw up like I almost did. It doesn't matter whether or not you live in a swing state. There are more races going on than just for president.

I found out that I actually have until October 7th to register. There's even a fourteen-day grace period, if I screw that up. Find out all the details for Cook County, Illinois HERE.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"In order to encourage families to prepare for emergencies, Homeland Security has partnered with whom?"

22% said "The Osbornes"
- Duck and cover. Then bite the head off the duck.

11% said "The Osmonds"
- The key to survival. Keep copulating and making more Osmonds.

11% said "The Lohans"
- Surviving disasters or causing disasters?

55% got it right with "The Muppets"

According to The Examiner, in a move that will make Bush administration detractors bring back those duct tape jokes again, the Department of Homeland Security has partnered up with the famous children’s show Sesame Street. “We all want our children to feel safe in this world,” said Meryl Chertoff, wife of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, at a ceremony held at the John Tyler Elementary School to announce the partnership. "And who better to do that than our Sesame Street friends, Grover and Rosita!”

I hope they have done their research here. Very embarrassing if they find any ties between the Count and Al-Qaeda. They already have to reign in Burt.

Print Is Dead

WEIRD DREAM

I am not immune from the occasional and stereotypical actor's nightmare, but last night's dream was quite different. I was performing a play that I wrote. There were other characters, but I was the only person onstage. The other characters were referred to as being on stage, but their voices were pre-recorded. Matt Elwell and Dianna Driscoll were in the booth and, I must say, did a fantastic job with all the light and sound cues.

Everything was going as intended. Even had a packed house. After one group scene, again, where I was the only person on stage, I walked into the audience. As directed. As planned. What happened next, though, was not a part of the show. A group of people from the audience jumped up on stage and took over. They somehow quickly and miraculously set up musical equipment and broke into "Jeepster" by T. Rex. It was awesome. The crowd dug it and I dug it. It was much better than the crap I was doing alone. After their set, an argument erupted with two couples in the middle of the audience. It had everyone's attention. The argument morphed into an original acapella song. Then another group of people in the back of the house started singing an acapella song.

It was great. Everyone was having a blast. And I lost my pants somewhere. Is there a lesson? I guess. Art sure is a lot more fun when you include people. And always keep track of your pants.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Time, Inc has just launched the beta version of a service called Maghound which is best described as what?"

36% said "The last gasp of a dying industry - PRINT IS DEAD!"
- Um, yah. Maybe. But not what I was going for here.

27% said "Napster for magazines"
- Hmmm, a magazine sharing service? You can keep your Playboy, thank you.

18% said "YouTube for magazines"
- Great. Time magazine is now posting pictures of people getting hit in the nuts.

19% got it right with "Netflix for magazines"

According to Folio, after four years of development and testing, and almost a year after first being publicly announced, Time Inc. has finally launched the beta version of its virtual newsstand delivery service Maghound.com. The membership pricing is tiered— three titles for $4.95 a month, five titles for $7.95, seven titles for $9.95, and $1 per title for eight titles or more. Memberships can be entirely managed online, as well as by email and phone, from changing magazine title selections to updating personal information and placing magazine delivery on hold for a temporary period. All titles sold on Maghound will be classified as single-copy sales. Maghound will pay the publishers a fixed fee for every copy of each title that is sold.

That's actually kind of cool. Like Netflix, you pay a monthly fee and get "x" amount of titles, but you don't have to return them. They're yours. I sound like I'm pitching this. I swear I'm not getting any money from this. As a person who sometimes buys a magazine or two, but doesn't want to commit to a whole year's worth of anything, this is great. It's like having a bevy of literary mistresses. I feel naughty and well-informed.

Not For Sissies

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"An auction of works by artist Pietro Psaier has been postponed over claims he may be what?"

50% said "a four year old"
- These days, that's just a quirky asset that jacks up the price of the artwork.

34% said "Stephen King"
- They figured it out because the paintings are much larger than they need to be, recycle subjects of previous paintings and tend to ramble.

No one said "muslim"

16% got it right with "made up"

According to The Telegraph, works by Pietro Psaier have appeared at sales all over the world, including several held by Christie's, Sotheby's and Bonhams, attracting prices of up to £14,000.

They were given added kudos by the claim that Psaier worked in Warhol's studio, the Factory, and that the pair were friends who collaborated on several pieces.

However, officials at the Andy Warhol Foundation have come forward to say they have never heard of Psaier, and suggested that the whole relationship may have been a hoax.

The auctioneer John Nicholson, of Fernhurst, Surrey, the leading Psaier dealer, is trying to prove his existence and has even hired a researcher. In the meantime, he has been forced to delay the latest sale of Psaier's work.

...This is awesome. This Psaier guy is like the Forest Gump of the art world. He even apparently died in the famous tsunami in Sri Lanka in 2004. This is an amazing and ugly facet of art. There are many brilliant painters out there who will never be more than a faint blip on the radar. Someone tells someone who tells someone that this guy knew Warhol and that Warhol may even have collaborated with him and people go nuts. I'm going to start spreading the rumor that Mamet helps me write my plays.

Here's Psaier's "Not For Sissies." It's nothing special. Some fun pop that "samples" DC artwork. But if Warhol really did look over his shoulder and suggested the shade of red for Superman's shorts, add $10k to the price tag.