365 Update

Well, things are chugging along.

WNEP participated in the Strawdog's Saturday night late show "Theater Wars," which is Family Feud played by theater companies. I don't think it's fair to say we got our ass kicked by New Leaf. More fair to say, we kicked our own ass and kept kicking after we were down. The only points we scored came when Rebecca Languth threatened to castrate Don Hall if he used anything other than her suggestion. Fortunately, she was right. Unfortunately, Don still has his gonads after he answered "Salvador Dali" when the majority of his team clearly told him to say "Rembrandt."

So, what the hell does this have to do with 365? It took place in Strawdog's cabaret space Hugen Hall where we will be doing all our shows. I got to see backstage and get a sense of how 365 will work in the space. It's tiny, but it's doable and will also give the shows a fun, party feel (folding chairs and there's a bar in the back).

Directors are responsible for casting their shows and we'll have general auditions the last week of March. And you can bet I'll let you know more about it.

Friday, June 4th, midnight - WEEKS 9 & 10 – “The End of the World” – Director: Rinska Prestinary

Rinska is a directing major at Columbia College who graduates this semester. I am thrilled that this will likely be her first out-of-college directing debut. Rinska is full of energy and her productions tend to reflect that with tight pacing and crazy characters and situations. A perfect fit for 365, especially for a midnight slot. Rinska will be a double-shot of espresso for anyone not used to staying up that late. This block also features two scenes - The End of the World and The Machine Also Rises - that were translated into french for the website La Fin Du Monde.

BigFatLies.3.17.09

WE REACH WITH RADIO II.3.22.09

Blogger.3.21.09

Bully.3.16.09

CoffinMax.3.20.09

OpenCasket.3.19.09

RecollectionsOfACountryLife.3.18.09

77.3.28.09

WorksBetterOnChildren.3.25.09

AGoodMan.3.23.09

MattNeedsYourHelp.3.24.09

TheEndOfTheWorld.3.26.09

TheMachineAlsoRises.3.27.09

WEREACHWITHRADIOIII.3.29.09

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Last Friday, I asked...

"Parent Toni Price was arrested at Riverview Elementary in Memphis for threatening to do what to school employees?"

66% said "kick them with her prosthetic leg" - Why kick when you can take it off and swing it like a Louisville slugger?

34% said "whip them with her, well, whip" - Memphis Price and the Kingdom of the Empty Skull

No one said "spit on them with her aids-infected tongue"

And no one picked the correct answer "cut them with her sword"

According to WLBT3, a spitting match between two students at Riverview Elementary School apparently led to a bizarre encounter in the office the next morning. 32-year-old Toni Price went to the school to confront the parents of the girl who spit on her daughter. According to court records, Price ended up inside the school where an employee reported a drunk woman was armed with a sword running through the halls of the school. She told police Price was threatening to cut her.

Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black walking cane in which a long sharp blade is concealed. Price told police she drank a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45 before going to the school.

This is an outrage. A parent has the right to protect her child with a sharp blade and a cloud of malt liquor. This is America. If bleeding heart liberals have their way they'll outlaw canes AND public intoxication.

Eddie's Sketchbook - The Final Insult To Art

(click on images to enlarge them...if you dare.)


This was another one that started with some random squiggles and became...that. I like the nose hairs.




In the Wednesday night Nighthawk Sandwich show there was a scene Mary Jo Bolduc wrote called Private Dancer based on Hopper's Girlie Show. In it, Nat Topping gets punched in the face. The night Nat came to see our show, I decided to try to capture it. It looks less like Nat Topping getting punched and more like Don Hall getting slapped with a doughnut. The "50% damage" is an inside joke. When they would run the fight choreography before each show, the actors would do so at slower rates of speed, building up to 100%. This is a 50% sock in the kisser.




Back to my favorite use. This is Len in the Automat, post-op. He seems to regret his decision.




Another one that started with squiggles. I thought it was going to be three lemons. Turned out to be Len, a young Bob Hope and his Polynesian servant, sitting in a big tub of chowder.




Len at the beach. There's sun screen on his huge beach towel near his head. Len burns easily.




Len Comes Ashore just may be my favorite. Len was the last thing added. It was just the lighthouse and the landscape. Very boring. Want to spice up a work of art? Add Len and make it weird. If I had a tattoo, it would say "Make It Weird."




Seemed only fitting that for the very last show I take a stab at Nighthawks. I intentionally did it without people in honor of the show closing. But then, I couldn't resist. Len is lying in a pool of blood behind the counter. The reference is to an early scene where George, a businessman, contemplates suicide and finds his secretary has removed the firing pin from his gun. I imagined Len fixing it for him.

If you saw The (edward) Hopper Project, I hope you enjoyed it and this glimpse into a part of it. If you didn't get a chance to see it, I hope you regret it deeply and on your deathbed whisper "Hopper" as you drop a snowglobe from your dying hand.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Peta has developed a new billboard with the message to 'spay or neuter' cats and dogs. The celebrity on the ad is who?"

25% said "Duane 'Dog' Chapman" - Help stop the unnecessary spread of reality shows.

25% said "Wolf Blitzer" - We must keep that beard from overpopulating the planet.

No one said "Cat Stevens"

50% got it right with "Tiger Woods"

According to The Huffington Post, Tiger Woods may soon appear on a PETA billboard in his hometown of Windermere, Fla. The animal rights group has created a graphic showing a photo of the golfer accompanied by the all-caps text, "TOO MUCH SEX CAN BE A BAD THING." The message continues beneath the headline: "... for little tigers too. Help keep your cats (and dogs) out of trouble: Always spay or neuter!"

The problem is, Tiger probably has been fixed. We haven't heard any rumors of any stray tiger cubs popping up around the strip clubs he haunted. Then, again, maybe the ad is saying it's a good thing if you're going to keep screwing around. If you're going to get into trouble, don't make it any worse. Looking at you, John Edwards.

More of Eddie's Sketchbook

Almost done displaying why I'm a writer and not an artist. (click to enlarge the image)



This is another one that started out with some squiggles which became a pipe organ which became the inside of the movie theater apparently from the perspective of being drunk and passed out on the floor of the balcony. The movie is a reference to the play where my character rants about a film he saw that put movie cameras right in the middle of the action, like on a roller coaster or in a bull fighting ring. In this case, it's Eddie enjoying a gondola ride with another character named Tommy. That's Len steering.



Len, Nude, Descending A Staircase Via A Goose Step. I think that says it all. I love that he has Whistler's -aka Len's -Mother on the wall of his living room.



Yep. A dead bird. If you so the show, you know why.




I imagined Len wanting to advertise his diner, but only being able to afford a billboard somewhere in upstate New York.


HUGHIE/KRAPP'S LAST TAPE

Brian Dennehy in the two one-act double feature of Eugene O'Neill's Hughie and Samuel Beckett's Krapp's Last Tape closes this Sunday. You might be able to score some discounted tickets over at HotTix. see it if you can. These plays are rarely produced, especially at this level of quality. Dennehy is finds delightful moments in two tragic characters that seem crippled by loneliness. Sounds depressing, but it's not. Well, not entirely. "Eerie" in Hughie is a gambler who has been on a long losing streak and who could talk your ear off. The kind of guy you enjoy observing, but would never want to be trapped with in a room. Krapp's Last Tape, in typical Beckett fashion, is a clown act layered with sadness and absurdity and Dennehy completely transforms himself for the role. Kudos to the Good man audience for not having a cellphone go off (a first for me in that theater), but boo for all the frickin' hacking and wheezing. What the hell? Hardly heard any of it during intermission, as soon as the lights started going down, the coughing swelled. Apparently, many Goodman patrons have an allergic reaction to darkness and silence. Much of Krapp is silent, but at the Goodman, it's scored with a tuberculosis orchestra. In spite of the lung songs, Krapp still ended on one of the most powerful moments I have seen on stage in awhile.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"YouTube has removed the original video of what popular internet sensation?"

20% said "Two Girls, One Cup" - The original video was never on there. It's just not YouTube's cup of...tea.

20% said "Dramatic Hamster" - Brian Dennehy's acting coach.

No one went for "Keyboard Cat"

60% got it right with "Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up"

According to Mashable, if you want to Rickroll someone, no problem, there are thousands of copies of the video of Rick Astley’s legendary song, “Never Gonna Give You Up,” on the Internet. However, if you want to use the original Rickroll video, which should be located here, you’ll be greeted by an ugly message: This video has been removed due to terms of use violation.

Nothing can stop Rick Astley. He will never let you down.

I Believe...

...that some people look for a reason to be offended (looking at you GOP) and are more likely to be offended depending on the source (looking at you Sarah Palin). But the thing is, who cares if you're offended? What does it even mean? Were you somehow damaged when you were offended? Did it tear your arm off or just "ruin" some experience for a moment? If someone's goal is to be offensive (looking at you Limbaugh) and you're offended, then score! Or you can choose to not to give the matter any more weight than it deserves and move on.

...theater is fleeting. You toil, you create, you display, you destroy, you move on to the next thing. It's a lot like dating.

...that I used to be a full-fledged vegan. Damn you, pizza. Why do I love you?

...that art is at its best when it has an opinion and someone might be offended.

...that the first two years of high school were awful - crippled by shyness, self-conscious with acne, no sense of fashion. The last two years were a blast because I learned to surround myself with people whose company I enjoyed. They were creative. We explored music, movies and TV together, we shared a lot about what we were learning about the world. We had fun and weren't easily offended. Might be the most important lesson learned in those four years. That and photosynthesis.


EDDIE'S SKETCHBOOK, PART III



The set had a corner that represented a movie theater. This is my take on what the exterior wall might have looked like.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Apple recently pulled thousands of adult-themed apps for iPhone including one from ChilliFresh, an Australian company, called "Wobble" which featured what?"

50% said "kangaroos having sex" - Did you see the pouch on that one? Crikey!

25% said "all things jiggly" - Jell-No

No one said "models falling on runways" - No. That's called "the news."

25% git it right with "women's breasts"

According to BBC News, thousands of apps with adult-themed content have been removed from the store since Friday although some, such as one from Playboy, remain. ChilliFresh is an Australian company that creates apps for the iPhone, including the recently banned Wobble, which allows users to add 'wobble' functionality to any picture. The firm markets the app by suggesting people can use it to wobble women's breasts.

That's right. Apple removed the apps because people said they were offended. But kept Playboy, because, well, that's the "good" porn. I'm embarrassed. Not about porn. I read the news article wrong yesterday, or it was updated. I thought Wobble just had pictures of wobbly boobies. This, apparently, can take pictures of women and make their naughty bits jiggle.



This is an amazing advance in technology. Why does Apple hate the future? And why don't women see this as an example of how much we love and appreciate them? Where's that rock I was sleeping under...tiny...brain...tired...

Eddie's Sketchbook, Part II

Flipping through the sketchbook, I noticed that after "Sad Eyed Chihuahua Len" I went back to "serious" sketches. This was out of concern someone in the audience might be able to get a peek of what I was drawing and it would take them out of the play... and make me look like a dork. That lasted for another week's worth of show.

This is the last one of the last one's where I was trying to do it all Hopper-y. (Click on the image for a larger version.)



Totally drawing from what I recall of one of his paintings. A few sketches later, I determined I could draw something without revealing it to the audience and I was back to using Len as my muse.



"Len On Horseback"



Patrick Kelly portrayed the sardonic and often put upon Len. Ours was the only scene where I actually had a conversation, albeit brief, with another character. There was another scene at the end, but it was more like I was talking and someone happened to be there. In our exchange, Len had to tell me the specials of the day - a long list of menu items. This is one of the most difficult things for an actor to memorize. There is no story to tell. No progression. You have to hardwire it into your brain. Patrick did a great job, but there were a few shows where Patrick's actor spider sense told him he was about to go up on the line ("up" means "blow it") so he would quickly wrap it up with a "and that's all we have." The above sketch is from one of those shows.



In the show, I first break out the sketchbook while on the catwalk above the diner. If I had no idea what I was going to draw, I would just throw down some squiggles and then see if I could find something in it. This is one of those. It became the woman Bernie the detective is tailing in the first act diner scene.

There's a few more I'll post this week. Thanks for indulging an outsider artist.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Dominik Podolsky, a German snowboarder stranded in the Austrian Alps for six hours was rescued after attracting attention by doing what?"

25% said "singing "The Sound of Music" at the top of his lungs" - this would actually work as a deterrent to being found

25% said "stripping down to his leiderhosen" - Not wise, he might freeze his schnitzel.

No one went for "dancing a jig"

50% got the right answer with "setting fire to his money"

According to BBC News, Dominik Podolsky, 22, of Munich, was stuck on a ski lift when it shut down for the day, with the temperature -18C. As darkness fell, he began to burn paper handkerchiefs and the contents of his wallet with a cigarette lighter. He started with restaurant bills and business cards before he was spotted burning the last of 120 euros in cash.

My recommendation for Dominik... use the ski lift to go UP the mountain, use your skis to go back DOWN. Might save you a few euros.

Eddie's Sketchbook

Hopper has closed and, like our many reviews, my feelings are mixed. Don't get wrong. I loved doing the show and I loved working with this cast. It was a tremendous amount of fun. It was also a five day-a-week commitment for me, not including pre-production. The weekends were particularly taxing with my teaching schedule at Second City. I'm ready to move on and looking forward to getting out there and seeing some shows.

In the show, I played a Hopper substitute named "Eddie." Eddie was far from being biographical, but I did try to emulate his approach to art. He would stare at things for hours before painting and kept a sketchbook to develop his work before applying paint to brush. My Eddie kept a sketchbook in his back hip pocket. Once a show, I made a sketch. At first, I tried to recreate something Hopper might draw - a landscape or cityscape or something based on one of his classics. Then, I got silly. Often using "Len," the diner owner/operator, as my muse.

Here are a few... (click on the image for a closer view)



This is the very first one in the book. It might even have been done on opening night, as I went through a few different sketchbook options. As you can see, I was trying to take my role seriously.



This is the first appearance of Len about three shows later. It's based on an actual Hopper painting where there's a fully clothed man sitting on the edge of a bed and a naked woman reclining behind him. I gave the sketch the title "Len Gets Laid" and then thought it would be funnier if I erased the woman.







This is where I started becoming frustrated with my lack of talent as an artist. I really wanted to do a great "Sad-Eyed Chihuahua Len." Unfortunately, the idea is better than the result.

















Hopper liked his naked ladies and his actual sketchbook is full of him practicing drawing them. The stuff that would get you kicked out of most high school classrooms. Here's my attempt. And then I had a bunch of space left, so I decided this naked lady worked out of her home.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Last week, I asked...

"Fraternity students at the University of California - San Diego threw an off campus party last weekend commemorating Black History Month that encouraged guests to do what?"

I clearly loaded the answers on this one, because the story pissed me off.

The choices were...

"For guys to wear XXXL white t's"

"For girls to have gold teeth, start fights and wear cheap clothes"

"For everyone to enjoy dat Purple Drank made of the color purple, chicken and watermelon"

100% got the right answer, "All of the above"

According to San Diego's 10News.com, administrators at the University of California, San Diego are condemning a weekend ghetto-themed party thrown off-campus by fraternity students to mock Black History Month, but they aren't likely to discipline anyone, it was reported Wednesday.The so-called "Compton Cookout" event urged all participants to wear chains, don cheap clothes and speak very loudly, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. Female participants were encouraged to be "ghetto chicks."

What a bunch of ass bags. There are three things more than anything that I just do not get; litter, being loud on buses or trains, and racism. Okay, those weren't in order of importance, but I think they all are related. The perpetrators are all people who falsely feel a sense of entitlement and use these tools of disruption to feel superior, which, of course, they are not. Such acts put them squarely at the bottom of the pecking order. People are racist. Seems to be built in or passed down. But that doesn't mean you can't rise above the baseness and use your brain and treat everyone with respect and humanity. Seriously, what a bunch of friggin' ass bags.

Like Taking Ghandi From A Baby

The other day, a friend of mine forwarded to me this list created by Ghandi. I thought it evoked some simple principles that, if adapted from an individual level to global, would certainly make the world a better place. I went on to share the list on Facebook. It generated a lot of responses from my friends, mostly hysterical. So hysterical, I had to share them. Feel free to add your own social sins in the comments section.

Mahatma Ghandi’s list of mankind’s seven social sins:

1. Commerce without morality

2. Politics without principle

3. Wealth without work

4. Pleasure without conscience

5. Education without character

6. Science without humanity

7. Worship without sacrifice

Joe

Not bad for a skinny guy in a diaper.

David

What a stick in the mud.

Jason

8. Men without hats

James

9. Alcohol without cigarettes

Cassandra

10. Ice cream without dairy.

Marty

Why are all the decent and intellectually stimulating men, dead?

Lori

What... we still have Joe.
Oh, wait, decent, well, that's open to interpretation.

Aly

a blessing without a disguise. wrap the diaper around that.

Tom

chocolate without peanut butter.

Allison

My mouth without chocolate in it!

Tom

leisure suits without disco balls.

Ranjit

I think that if Gandhi could read this comment-thread, he'd be pleased and believe that all of his work was not in vain.

Aly

ranjit- you should start a 'what would Gandhi think?' facebook page, there are instances here of all seven social sins and more

Tom

Gandhi went on a hunger strike and Hitler begged him to stop. Hitler thought Gandhi was being unreasonable.

Joyce

Ghandi definitely wasn't a supporter of the American way, was he?

Tom

Morale-suasion works against moral societies, like the British. It won't work against Al Capone, Saddam Hussein, John Gotti, Pol Pot, etc.

Tom

I heard Gandhi drove a Prius.