Written by Joe Janes
2/12/09
25 of 365
CAST:
Announcer
Akmed Glasheed
Ira Glass
(This is an audio piece designed to be heard between live action scenes.)
ANNOUNCER
In these tough economic times, organizations that rely heavily on charitable contributions are struggling to make ends meet. This has forced them to become more aggressive in their solicitation of funds. Organizations like National Public Radio…AKMED (over instrumental middle eastern music)
……Coming up, we’ll be talking to Abdul Hafiz Mansoor, a thirteen-year-old Afghan boy who wants to kill all infidel Americans so he can go to heaven…and we’ll give him a few suggestions from experts on the best ways he can do that…I’m Akmed Glasheed. You’re listening to This Taliban Life.(Middle Eastern music fades, light jazz comes in)
IRA GLASS
Does the thought of a show like that scare you? It should…It could happen… Hello…I’m radio’s Ira Glass. You know me from my show, This American Life. Since 9/11, this American life, the one we all live, has been under attack by devious forces. These are the kinds of soulless evildoers who wouldn’t think twice about hijacking a commercial jet airliner and flying it into our weekly program. What can you do to protect our airwaves? To preserve the freedom you have to tune in to me? Give generously to this NPR station. Donate now, before it’s too late. Put $911 on your credit card in the next hour, and I will come to your door and kiss you on the mouth. It’s that important… I’m Ira Glass.IMPROVISED SHAKESPEARE
I'm playing in the show Friday night at iO at 8pm in The Del Close Theater. Come check us out.
6 comments:
I was ready to donate until the threat of a kiss.
I hear he's gentle.
I actually don't like how it ends and somewhere between going to bed and waking up realized it needed to tie in more strongly to the patriotism angle and NPR donor swag.
Here's the rewrite...
"Put $911 on your credit card in the next hour, and I will personally come to your door, pat you on the back, say “atta boy” or “atta girl,” spoon feed you a slice of mom’s homemade apple pie, kiss you on the mouth and pin a limited edition This American Life This American Flag lapel pin on you and it will mean we are going together. It's that important."
I like the rewrite...
JB
This Taliban Life. That's all I needed to hear!
I like the revised ending.
Are these played over transitions? Is that your intent?
Initially, yes, I thought it would play during a transition. However, I think it's probably too long for that. But it still needs to be an audio piece. What I'll look at doing in rewrites is having something happening on stage where we see someone reacting to hearing the piece on the radio. That might be interesting.
If you can't get Ira Glass to do this, can I play him?
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