Written by Joe Janes
2/27/09
40 out of 365
Cast:
Cheryl, mid-20s
Gabe, mid-20s
Phil the Friendly Tour Guide, 20s
Souvenir Lady, 70s
A small gaggle of tourists
(Cheryl is standing next to Gabe downstage of a small group of tourists at the base of the Statue of Liberty.)
PHIL
The Statue of Liberty, or, as the French say, Statue de la Liberté, was presented to the United States by the people of France in 1886. It commemorates the centennial of the signing of the Declaration of Independence and was given to the United States to represent the friendship established during the American Revolution…GABE
This is pretty cool. I’m usually not into touristy things. CHERYL
What would you be doing if I weren’t here?GABE
Hell, I probably wouldn’t even be here. I’d spend my vacation in Ohio just getting stuff done around the apartment, you know. Last time I went on a vacation vacation was in high school with my family. This is my first grown-up vacation. CHERYL
Pretty exciting.GABE
And I get to go to New York City, of all places, with my gal. This was a great idea, Cheryl.CHERYL
Yep. Pretty great. Look, Gabe, I think we should break up. GABE
What? This is – what? Are you serious? PHIL
…Her raised right foot is on the move. This symbol of Liberty and Freedom is not standing still or at attention in the harbor, it is moving forward, as her left foot tramples broken shackles at her feet, in symbolism of the United States' wish to be free from oppression and tyranny…CHERYL
Yeah. I don’t think this is working out. I’m feeling too tied down. I was going to tell you before we left, and then on the plane, and then this morning at Starbucks, I just can’t wait any longer. GABE
This is really out of the blue.CHERYL
Really? Really, Gabe? You should have seen this coming. We barely have anything in common. You like to get up early and I like to sleep in. I hate cats.GABE
I don’t have a cat.CHERYL
But you like them.GABE
It’s more like I don’t dislike them.CHERYL
And you’re just way too sensitive. It’s hard to talk to you. I had to find the right time to tell you.GABE
This is the right time to tell me? In another state? At the base of a national landmark? In front of a group of strangers?CHERYL
I didn’t think you’d make a scene this way.GABE
But – we still have another week here. Our plane doesn’t leave for seven more days.PHIL
…The seven spikes on the crown epitomize the Seven Seas and seven continents. Her torch signifies enlightenment. The tablet in her hand represents knowledge and shows the date of the United States Declaration of Independence, in roman numerals, July IV, MDCCLXXVI…CHERYL
Yeah. I figure you’d just go do your thing and I’d go do mine. GABE
For the whole week?CHERYL
Kind of awkward hanging out after we just broke up. GABE
It’s done already? You just mentioned it and now it’s a done deal?PHIL (from where he’s standing)
Well, yeah. Whenever someone says, “we should break up” it means, “I already broke up with you and this is me telling you. I actually broke up with you weeks ago.” Am I right? (Various nods and verbal agreements from group)GABE
Oh, my God!(Phil comes over)
PHIL
Is there a problem over here?GABE
Yes, there is, officer. Arrest this woman.PHIL
I’m just a tour guide.GABE
She just broke up with me.PHIL
Can’t really do anything about that, Big Fella. You’re disturbing the flow of my tour. Maybe you can settle your dispute off the island.CHERYL
I’m sorry –GABE
She just broke up with me.PHIL
You’ve made that painfully clear. Maybe you can just be friends, like France and America. GABE
What do we do about the hotel room? I can’t afford to get another room.CHERYL
Me, neither. It’s okay with me if we sleep in the same bed. Just don’t touch me. GABE
I was going to say the same thing to you.CHERYL
You didn’t have to. PHIL (to Cheryl)
You can stay with me.CHERYL
I can?PHIL
Sure. It’s a tiny studio, but I have a futon that folds down.CHERYL
Okay.GABE
You can’t do that, Cheryl. You don’t know this guy.CHERYL
I know how to take care of myself, Gabe.GABE
He’s a stranger (whispers)…in New York.PHIL
I’m Phil, the tour guide.CHERYL
He’s Phil the tour guide. (To Gabe) Where have you been?GABE
This is crazy. My first vacation vacation and my girlfriend breaks up with me on the first day and spends the rest of the week with a stranger.CHERYL
This is why we broke up, Gabe. You make too big a deal out of everything I do. It’s oppressive. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to finish the tour. You can go do whatever you want. You’re free.PHIL (taking her arm)
Right this way. …It was agreed that in a joint effort, the American people were to build the base, and the French people were responsible for the Statue and its assembly in the United States. Benefit theatrical events, art exhibitions, auctions and prizefights assisted in providing needed funds…(Phil leads the group off. Gabe is left alone. Souvenir Lady walks up selling trinkets.)
SOUVENIR LADY (she has old lady smoker’s voice)
Miniature Statue of Liberty? Ten bucks. GABE
Will you sleep with me?SOUVENIR LADY
Will you buy a souvenir?GABE
Sure.SOUVENIR LADY
Okay, then.GABE
Take that, Cheryl.(Souvenir Lady holds out hand for the money. Gabe reaches into his wallet. Lights fade.)
9 comments:
I did not dislike this one at all. No, seriously, it was a fun ride. Incredibly believable. Great setting. I actually had to Google an image of the SOL to check out her feet.
Must say, however, that Gabe and Cheryl come across more a couple in their early to mid-30's, not mid-20's, and mostly because of one line, "And I get to go to New York City, of all places, with my gal. This was a great idea, Cheryl."
I'm busting your chops, Donald Janes.
Whenever you see "This post has been removed by the author." it's usually my brother railing on me about me claiming OJ is innocent of murdering his wife and her boyfriend. And "by the author" refers to the person who wrote the post, not me. I've never deleted anyone's comments unless it's an advertiser and, even then, only if it makes zero contribution to the conversation. It's too bad he deletes them. I get a kick out of them.
But to address the feedback that the couple in the scene don't come across as being in their mid-20s, I dunno. I hear you. "me and my gal"doesn't fit expectations. I spend a lot of time with college students and it's difficult to typify how they speak. It's all over the place in content and quality. To me, it's more about what this couple has experienced and is experiencing. I think a couple in their 20s are more likely to break up in public and more likely to be on their first real vacation.
By the way, this scene is based on an actual experience. A friend of mine went on vacation to New York with his girlfriend and she broke up with him while they were there. They were in their 20s. I added the monument, though.
For the record, OJ is as guilty of double homicide as I am bald.
Moving on, every now and then this comment box thingy re-requests my Google/Blogger ID info, and when I comply, it dredges up an old OJ rant of mine, automatically, completely wiping out everything I just wrote.
It's funny, weird and annoying, all at once. I would leave the resurrected comment alone, but don't you think it would be slightly out of context?
I'll give you late 20's, and that's my final offer.
And don't call me 'Donald.'
I thought it looked familiar. What an odd glitch. Maybe someone at blogger believes in you... Don James Janes.
Figured it out, Joe Bill. That OJ comment was unknowingly saved in my RoboForm program.
Joe..This one could start the movie, She's Not Really THat into You"...At first I thought u were going to have the Inspector Clouseau accent going when he pronounced Statue de Liberte...Then I thought Cheryl might actually know Phil already so the whole thing was a setup...... The ending however, is okay...I was kind of hoping for some other kind of revenge...
JB
I like this scene, but I want to see the Joe vs. Don OJ conversation scene even more. I think the out would somehow have to be a double homicide.
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