Written by Joe Janes
3/24/09
65 out of 365
CAST:
MATT, 30s
KELLY 30s
(Matt walks out onto an empty stage.)
MATT
Hi. My name is Matt. Hope you are enjoying the show. I need to ask for your help on something. It might sound a little odd. But it’s really important to me. My life, the quality of my life, really depends on it. I went to Disneyworld during Christmas of 1996. I went on some rides. I went on the Riverboat Ride in the Magic Kingdom. While I was on this ride, I saw a girl standing on the front of the boat on the main deck. I could not decide whether or not to ask her out. After 20 minutes, I decided not to. I now severely regret it. Severely. The rest of the cast knows how much this has been eating away at me over the years and they graciously allow me to speak to our audiences every show. Please help! I have also posted on my blog, on Craig’s List, all over the Internet. Even did flyers for awhile.It appeared that the girl was with her parents. Assuming that it was her parents, the mother was in a blue wheelchair scooter. Her dad, if it was her dad, was fine, perfectly mobile. He wore a plain white sun visor. The parents were also on the front of the boat. (Takes a deep breath) I would like to try and locate this girl.
I drew a picture of her. (He takes it out of his back pocket and shows the audience) I added the shooting stars, rainbows and cherubs.
I have the following information on her:
* She was about 24 years of age at the time
* Caucasian, wore sunglasses
* About 5'5 or 5'6
* Hair was mostly black
* She was slim, about 120 pounds or so
* She was on the Riverboat Ride in the Magic Kingdom on December 26, 1996 at about 11am give or take a 1/2-hour
* She was on the front of the boat on the main deck
* She was with a handicapped woman in a wheelchair scooter, probably her mother, and a man in a white sun visor
* She was wearing shorts but they could not be seen because she was also wearing a black garment around her waist that covered said shorts
* She wore thongs on both her feet
* She might have 2 rings on her right hand, I cannot remember
And did I mention how time stood still and I could hear my heartbeat when I saw her? She might just be the love of my life. That once in a lifetime…thing.
I had a golden opportunity to meet this girl but I let it slip away like an idiot. This girl could be anywhere in the country. I have a feeling that she lives in Florida or somewhere in the Southeast. I don't know how this girl would have responded. It is not knowing the real truth that is bothering me.
My romantic life has been in complete limbo since I saw this vision of goddessness. I haven’t been able to commit to anyone because I always wonder…what if? What if I meet her, again? What if I someday I get my second chance?
If you have friends, family or relatives that were in Disney World in Florida on December 26, 1996 with a handicapped woman in a wheelchair scooter and a man in a white sun visor, please check with them on this.
Anyone here affiliated with a television station, radio station or news organization please broadcast or publish my plea. I want to get this out across the country. An Amber alert for my heart.
I am upset at myself for not speaking to this woman when I had the chance. Please tell your friends, and co-workers. If you think you have a lead or you know of someone who can help, please contact me-
KELLY (from audience)
Excuse me…excuse me…MATT
Yes?KELLY
I think that was me.MATT
What? Are you serious? Could we bring the houselights up? (Houselights come up and Matt enters the house) NO, I don’t think so.KELLY
I was at Disney World on December 26, 1996. I rode the boat ride. It’s the only time I’ve ever been to Disney World.MATT
No, I don’t think so. This girl was much younger.KELLY
It was 1996.MATT
I’m just not seeing it.KELLY
I even carry a picture of it. It was the last family vacation I ever took with my parents. (She shows Matt the picture)MATT
How did you get this?KELLY
It’s mine. That’s me with my mom and dad and Cinderella.MATT
If that’s true, then where’s the handicapped woman, now?KELLY
She’s dead.MATT
This girl’s woman was very much alive.KELLY
Not really, my mom was terminally ill then. That’s why she was in the scooter. Once more, I remember seeing you. I do. You were afraid of getting wet on the boat ride so you were wearing a yellow plastic Mickey Mouse poncho. And you were wearing a fanny pack over the poncho. And you were alone. You went to Disney World alone?MATT
Uh, lots of people do. Happiest place on earth don’t care if you brought anyone. Oh my God, it’s you! It really is you! Wow! I never thought I would see you, again.KELLY
My name’s Kelly.MATT
I’m Matt.KELLY
I know.(Long awkward pause)
KELLY
So, you want to meet up after your show?MATT
Gee, I would, but I have to work in the morning. (Yawns) You know how it is.KELLY
Sure.MATT
Well, hey, it was nice meeting you.KELLY
Yeah.MATT
Enjoy the rest of the show.KELLY
Right. I’m sure I will.(Matt gets back on stage; signals to the tech booth to bring houselights back down. He nods to himself a few times. And walks off. Blackout.)
6 comments:
Loved it. Made me feel better about the thousand times I've fallen in love with strangers with whom I never spoke. Definitely in my top 49 sketches so far.
Been there, done that, got a T-shirt.
Well, I would have a T-shirt if we could fit the whole sketch on a T-shirt.
...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I think it has a little too much set up at the top, but from the point where Kelly stands up it's perfect. I'm not saying cut it down a lot, but we get the point well before we get to the turn where we introduce Kelly.
My task in a rewrite is to figure out what Kelly's going through as she's hearing this. She would probably jump in earlier.
I. Love. This.
I just read it, so I don't have the benefit of perspective, but I think this is in my top 5 Joe scenes.
I personally don't think I want to see Kelly stand up earlier. She caught me completely by surprise. I thought I was reading a monologue until that point, and I love that she waited as long as she did. Especially because she doesn't seem particularly blown away by the amazing coincidence which I found hilarious.
And I love his resistance to believe that it's actually her.
Only a couple things... I think the monologue can be cut by about 2 paragraphs. There's one too many passages about his regret, but I love the redundancy of what she was wearing and who she was with and what they were wearing. Don't cut any of that!
And I also think the transition from annoyed/embarrassed to thrilled that he found her in Matt's line "Uh, lots of people do. Happiest place on earth... ... I never thought I would see you, again," is too abrupt. And I actually like it better if he never gets really excited that he's found her.
Great scene.
Thanks, Greg. I took your feedback for the rewrite.
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