Written by Joe Janes
4/7/09
79 of 365
CAST
Mother, 30s
Daughter, 12
Father, 30s
(Lights up on a mother and young daughter standing outside a door. Inside we hear horrible sounds of a man in pain. Crying, wailing, gnashing of teeth, some throwing of things about, fists pounding on hard surfaces, some settling down, panting, slowing, sniffing, throat clearing, silence, a sigh of relief. An envelope slides out from under the door. The mother picks it up. The daughter puts a stamp on it.)
MOTHER
Honey. Don’t forget to do the state taxes.(More intense wailing and thrashing about as lights fade.)
4 comments:
This would no doubt play well in production, but Father's pain seemed short in duration, considering the tax actuality cause.
It seemed to me he was only just passing a stone . . . only just . . .
It's definitely all in the execution. The father needs to sound like he's going through a combo of anal rape, waterboarding, root canal and kidney stones. Maybe some gout thrown in for good measure.
The stage directions made me feel like I was reading Desire Under the Elms. I've never read it, but there weren't any elms mentioned and it certainly seemed intense enough.
This is a misguided attempt at a compliment.
LMAO!!!!!!! Nice one Joe. :)
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