Week 19, Day 128 - "Book Club"

TWO PLUGS: This weekend is your last chance to see "Throwing Heat" - info is to your left. Also, check out Mac n Cheese Dinner Parties. I went to a party a few weeks ago and had a great time. It was an awesome opportunity to meet people outside my usual circles.


“Book Club”
Written by Joe Janes
5/26/09
128 of 365

CAST
Dina, 30s
Carly, 30s
Kim, 30s
Dave, 30s
Marty, 30s
Boon, 30s

(Lights up on Dina and Carly seated on a couch. In the background, Dave and Marty are chatting. Carly is noticeably pregnant. Dina is nervous.)

CARLY

Did you read the book?

DINA

I did. I’m not sure what to make of it.

CARLY

Oprah liked it.

DINA

Good enough for me. Nathan took me out to dinner last night to Charlie Trotters.

CARLY

Pretty fancy for a Thursday. What was the occasion?

(Dina holds up her hand and shows Carly her new engagement ring. Carly squeals.)

DINA

Shhh – Shhh – I want to break the news to the whole group when everyone gets here. But I just had to tell you first.

CARLY

I am so happy for you. Nathan is such a great guy. I wish I had been that lucky.

DINA

Wha-?

MARTY

Hey, let’s get this literary shindig rocking, Boon.

(Marty and Dave head over to the sofa and chairs. Boon and Kim enter. Kim carries a bottle of wine.)

KIM (a little tipsy)

Does anybody need more wine?

CARLY

I could use some.

(Kim pours Carly a little as she gets a look from Dina.)

CARLY (continuing)

What? It’s red wine. It’s good for the baby.

(Marty rolls his eyes.)

BOON

Hey, everybody, before we get started, Kim and I have something we want to say.

KIM

You guys are our best friends in the whole world and we always want it to be that way. We love the Friday book club. We love you guys.

BOON

What Kim is trying to say is that we’re going to get a divorce.

(General reactions of “what!?!”)

KIM

It’s okay. It’s okay. We still like each other.

BOON

We just realized that we were more just friends or roommates instead of what we thought a married couple should be.

DAVE

Will we still do Book Club?

KIM

Oh, hell yes. We don’t want anything to change. It will all still be the same, except that Boon and I won’t be hitched. And we can even still have it here. I’m keeping the house.

BOON

She’s keeping the house.

KIM

But it doesn’t change a goddam thing. Book Club forever! Let’s get started. Who read “Cassandra’s New Lover”?

(Everyone looks at each other uncomfortably.)

MARTY

I like how you guys are handling this. You seem pretty okay with it.

KIM

We are.

BOON

Oh, yes. Definitely. We still want to be close friends. Just not married.

MARTY

Well, as a guy who’s been through two divorces already, let me know if you need any guidance.

CARLY

Yeah. Marty’s got a rewards card from the courthouse. Soon he’ll get discounts on alimony.

MARTY

Dave and Dina, you two are so lucky to be single.

DAVE

I wouldn’t mind being married.

DINA

Actually, I-

CARLY

Honey, we should tell them.

MARTY

Really? Now?

CARLY

Yes. Now.

MARTY

Carly and I are splitting up.

(Slightly more intense reactions of “what!?!”)

CARLY

I thought the baby would change things, but Marty’s still a self-absorbed ass that doesn’t know how to communicate.

MARTY

Guilty as charged. And Carly still has the mood swings of an oscillating lawn sprinkler. And, boy, if the pregnancy doesn’t just point up that fact. It’s really been a pleasure.

DAVE

You’re separating. Not divorcing? So, you might get back together.

DINA

Well, that’s good. You’re giving yourself some distance to work things out.

MARTY

That’s the idea, but you know, whatever (He trails off mumbling.)

CARLY

Marty bought a condo across the street so he can be close by to help raise little Ignatius.

DINA

Ignatius?

MARTY

Yep. That’s another reason.

CARLY

But we’re going to be civil and we don’t want this in anyway to disrupt the Friday night Book Club. So, “Cassandra’s New Lover.” I liked it. I wasn’t crazy about the estranged brother character-

DINA

Oh, me, neither. What was the point?

KIM

Holy fucking shit look at that rock!

BOON

Wow!

DAVE

You’re engaged, Dina?

DINA

Yep, Nathan got down on his knees last night.

CARLY

That ring is humongous.

DINA

It’s from Jared’s.

MARTY

So, Nathan got down on his knees twice.

KIM

Well, this is a celebration!

BOON

You and Nathan are going to be so happy together.

DINA

You think?

(General “Oh, yeas” and “sures” except from Dave. Silence.)

DINA (continuing)

Thanks.

DAVE

What is wrong with you people? Everyone I know is getting a divorce. Here, at work, in my family. They’re either getting a divorce or they’re pregnant, and that’s not going so well, either. I’ve been single my entire adult life and not for lack of trying. I’ve been engaged once, engaged-to-be-engaged twice. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t even get in to this marriage club that you guys are
shitting all over. I like the idea of being committed to one person my whole life and sticking with them when things get rough, through thick and thin, till death do us part.

DINA

I want that, Dave. I want that for Nathan and me.

DAVE

Then I highly recommend you stop hanging out with these pillars of wedded bliss.

BOON

Dave. You’re a single guy. Why do you even hang out with married people at a book club on a Friday night?

MARTY

Moot point. If he stands there long enough, we’ll all be single, again.

DAVE

I had a crush on Dina. Sorry, I should have told you, but you were always seeing someone or I was. We never seemed to both be available at the same time.

DINA

I love Nathan.

MARTY (to Dave)

Give it a year.

(Blackout.)