Week 33, Day 227 - “I Love 2 Boogie”

“I Love 2 Boogie”

Written by Joe Janes

9/2/09

227 of 365

CAST

Nat, 30s

Keisha, 30s

Jesse, 50s

Suzy, 20s

Donald Trump, 60s

(Lights up on Nat sitting at a table in a bar. Off to the side is Jesse, the bartender. Suzie the server is at the jukebox, flipping through CDs. Nat looks worried. He leans into his drink. Keisha enters.)

NAT (standing)

Keisha.

(Keisha looks around and delicately steps towards Nat.)

KEISHA

Hello, Nat.

NAT

Thanks for meeting me.

(Keisha takes a pair of sunglasses out of her purse and hands them to Nat.)

KEISHA

Here are your prescription sunglasses.

NAT

Thanks. I’ve been looking for them all week.

KEISHA

Interesting how I happened to find them on my kitchen counter this morning when I’m quite sure they weren’t there yesterday.

NAT

Blue car.

KEISHA

What?

NAT

You know, you buy a blue car and then all of sudden you see blue cars all over the place. You probably didn’t see the sunglasses because you weren’t looking for them until I asked you to.

KEISHA

Right. Okay. I’ll be on my way-

NAT

Can I buy you a drink?

KEISHA

I need to get back to work.

NAT

I just think you’re calling this too soon.

KEISHA

Nat. I told you, I know what I’m looking for.

NAT

And I’m not it.

(Keisha shrugs.)

KEISHA

I feel like I gave you a chance.

NAT

We only went out three times.

KEISHA

Which is plenty of times to see if I want to go out on a fourth. Really, Nat, what could I find out about you on a fourth date that I don’t already know?

NAT

I’m rich.

KEISHA (skeptical)

You’re rich?

NAT

Independently wealthy.

KEISHA

I paid for dinner last time.

NAT

They didn’t take credit cards. I should have had my secretary check. Who doesn’t take credit cards any more?

KEISHA

I find it a little bit difficult to believe you’re independently wealthy.

JESSE

Oh, he’s rich. Owns most of this block. Including Trump Tower.

KEISHA

I thought Donald Trump owned Trump Tower.

NAT

I own Donald Trump. Bought him ten years ago. He does my laundry.

KEISHA

Okay. You own Donald Trump. Money isn’t everything. I’m doing fine for myself.

NAT

I’m the world’s greatest lover.

KEISHA

You drool when you kiss.

NAT

It takes me awhile, but my lips will adapt to what you most want them to do. They just do it. I don’t even try. We should have it down in about fourteen more lip locks.

JESSE

No need to take his word for it. Suzy?

SUZY

Nat is an enthusiastic and generous lover.

JESSE

The ladies call him The Hunchback.

SUZY

Because his bells are well hung.

(Jesse grabs Suzy and humps against her.)

JESSE

The bells! The bells! The bells!

SUZY

Oh! Oh! Oh!

JESSE (breaking off)

Of course, I pale in comparison.

(Keisha looks at Nat.)

NAT (sheepishly)

I have a reputation.

KEISHA

You’re all of a sudden rich and good in the sack.

NAT

“Great” in the sack, apparently.

KEISHA

I’m going to have to think about this.

(Keisha gets up and walks off. She gets as far as the door.)

NAT (standing)

Wait!

(She stops.)

NAT (continuing)

There’s one more thing I have to tell you about me.

(She turns.)

NAT (continuing)

I love to boogie.

(Suzy smacks the jukebox. A boogie tune starts playing. Nat dances towards Keisha, takes her by the hand and has his way with her “dance-wise.” They end with a flourish. She grabs him and kisses him for a long, enthusiastic tongue wrassle. They stop. She smiles and wipes off her mouth.)

KEISHA

Thirteen more to go!

(They kiss again. Jesse and Suzy cheer. Donald Trump enters with a laundry basket filled with clean, folded clothes. He drops them near Nat, shakes his head and walks off. Blackout.)