Week 40, Day 274 - "Clump"

“Clump”

Written by Joe Janes

10/19/09

274 of 365

Cast

Barry, 40s

Jared, 40s

(Lights up on Jared sitting on a cardboard box eating saltine crackers. He takes them out of their plastic wrapper and eats them one at a time nibbling at one end until he has passed the entire cracker into his cracker-grinder mouth. After the fifth or sixth one, he gets thirsty. He opens a small cooler nearby and takes out a plastic gallon jug of water, He is careful just to only take what he needs. He swishes the water around in his mouth before swallowing. Satisfied, he returns to cracker crunching. There is a knock at his garage-like door. He gets up, wiping off his t-shirt, and lifts the door up. Barry, a UPS man in a brown shirt and shorts stands there with a small box and clipboard.)

BARRY

You Jared Pillbottom?

JARED

Who’s asking?

BARRY

UPS. I have a package for you.

JARED (looking around)

Come on in.

(Barry enters and Jared closes the garage door.)

BARRY

Is this your residence?

JARED

You need to know that?

BARRY

No. Just asking. Looks like you live here.

JARED

It’s against the law to live in a self-storage unit, so, no. I don’t live here.

BARRY

Okay.

JARED

So, that’s it.

BARRY

Yes. Whatever “that” is.

(Barry hands Jared a small box. Jared takes it and regards it like it’s the Holy Grail.)

JARED

I need to find the right place for this.

(Jared sets it on top of the box he was sitting on.)

JARED (continuing)

This will have to do for now. Until I can buy a marble pedestal.

BARRY

I need you to sign for this.

JARED

Marble pedestal and some kind of light above it. Underneath it, too. Security. I never thought about security. I’ll have to sleep next to it, for now.

BARRY

That some kind of diamond or something?

JARED

Worth more than any diamond, worth more than any pile of diamonds. (He holds the box tighter) But I shouldn’t be telling you this.

BARRY

Look, I don’t care what you’ve got. Just doing my job. You need to sign for this.

(Jared takes the clipboard.)

JARED

What’s your name?

BARRY

Barry.

JARED

Barry. You have to promise me something, Barry. You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone about this.

BARRY

Like I said, I don’t really care. Just doing my job.

JARED

You would care, if you knew. You would care very deeply. I went from a man who had a few things to a man who had nothing to a man who now has this. Sold everything I owned. Took out a loan. I don’t know how long I have left on this planet, but I figure I’m passed the halfway point. Up till now, my life had no meaning. This is purpose. This is also my retirement. My health insurance. If things get bad-

BARRY

If things get bad?

JARED

If things get worse, I can sell this. For more than the $15,000 I paid for it.

(Jared signs the clipboard and hands it back to Barry.)

BARRY

That’s my pen.

JARED

Sorry.

(Jared hands him the pen.)

BARRY

Well, Mr. Pillbottom. You enjoy that thing. (Barry walks to the door.) This seems to be locked.

JARED

Wait. Barry. I have no one. No one to call. No one to visit. I need someone to see me with this. To bear witness to this holy of all holies.

BARRY

I really need to-

JARED

Won’t take a second.

(Jared tries to open it, but can’t. Too much tape.)

BARRY

Use your keys.

(Jared tries to use his keys, but no use.)

BARRY (continuing)

Try my pen.

(Jared tries the pen.)

JARED

That helped. I think I have it. Got an edge here.

BARRY

My pen.

(Jared hands him back the pen and opens the box. He sets it down on the ground. He carefully and gently removes tissue paper. Jared tears up. He reaches in a pulls out a small back clump of hair and holds it up with reverence.)

BARRY (continuing)

A scouring pad?

JARED

A clump of Elvis’s hair. From 1958. Before he joined the army.

(Barry is silent for a moment.)

BARRY

I think I’m going to cry. (He starts to cry and kneels down before the hair.) Elvis was the king.

JARED

The one and only king.

BARRY

May I touch it?

JARED

Are your hands clean?

BARRY (wipes his hands on his shirt)

Yes.

JARED

Go ahead.

(Barry touches the hair and then holds his hand.)

BARRY

I will never, ever wash this hand.

JARED

I paid a king’s ransom for this.

BARRY

Not really.

JARED

For me. Relatively speaking. I gave up everything for this moment,

BARRY

You have my honor and respect, Jared Pillbottom.

JARED

I know.

(Jared places the clump of hair on top of his box. A shaft of light hits it.)

BARRY

Amazing.

JARED

Worth every sacrifice. You need to go, now. So I can be alone with Elvis.

(Jared opens the door for Barry. Barry slips out.)

BARRY

Do you mind if I come back sometime? Just to pay my respects.

JARED

I would like that, Barry.

(Jared closes the door. He finds his crackers and takes out a saltine. He places it as an offering to the clump of hair. He kneels down much like a latter-day Elvis in his cape at the end of a song. The song “Burnin’ Love” begins to play. Lights fade.)