Week 46, Day 321 - "Christmas Comes Early... Maybe Late"

“Christmas Comes Early… Maybe Late”

Written by Joe Janes

12/5/09

321 of 365

Cast:

Stevie, 40s

Neal, 30s

Nicole, 20s

(Lights up on Stevie, a slight, burned out man with a raspy, barky voice. He wears fingerless gloves, a tight, knit cap and a beat up jacket and jeans. He stands near a Christmas tree.)

STEVIE

Trees…Trees…Christmas Trees…Ho-ho-ho for the holidays. Trees.

(Neal, in khaki shorts and a loud Hawaiian shirt walks up.)

STEVIE (continuing)

Christmas tree, Mister?

NEAL

It’s June.

STEVIE

They’re on sale.

NEAL

It’s June.

STEVIE

Christmas in July. Just around the corner.

NEAL

Christmas in July is just some figment of some marketer’s imagination. No one celebrates it other than people trying to sell you something.

STEVIE

Christmas in July sale. Christmas trees half off.

NEAL

Half off what?

STEVIE

Twenty-five dollars.

NEAL

Twelve-fifty, then.

STEVIE

…Yes.

NEAL

That is a good deal. Oh, what the hell. Maybe I’ll have a Christmas in July party. Here’s fifteen bucks. Keep the change.

(Stevie takes the money and hands Neal a Christmas tree.)

STEVIE

Happy holidays.

NEAL

Thanks.

(Neal walks off. Nicole enters, passing by.)

STEVIE

Christmas tree?

NICOLE

Uh, no.

STEVIE

Jack-o-lanterns.

NICOLE

It’s June.

STEVIE

Halloween in August. Just around the corner.

(She walks off.)

STEVIE

American flags! Independence day in June. (Pause) Buy anything now sale. (Pause) Happy holidays.

(Blackout.)