Week 49, Day 341 - "The Thoughts That Count"

“The Thoughts That Count”

Written by Joe Janes

12/25/09

341 of 365

CAST

Momma Judy, 50s

Grandpa Leo, 70s

Sister Sue, 30s

Baby Neil, teens

(Lights up on Momma Judy, Grandpa Leo, Sister Sue and Baby Neil sitting in a semi-circle. Momma Judy hands Grandpa Leo a plastic gift card.)

MOMMA JUDY

Here you go, Grandpa Leo. I got you a gift card.

GRANDPA LEO (squinting)

Ten dollars for iTunes (pronounced “it-oo-nez”). Sounds like they might have good burritos.

MOMMA JUDY

Remember, it’s the thought that counts.

(Grandpa Leo takes out his wallet, puts in the gift card and takes out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to Sister Sue.)

GRANDPA LEO

Sister Sue, here’s a twenty dollar bill.

SISTER SUE

Twenty dollars!

GRANDPA LEO

Give me ten back and you can keep the rest.

MOMMA JUDY

You’re giving her money?

GRANDPA LEO

It’s nature’s gift card. She can use it anywhere.

MOMMA JUDY

Except on iTunes (pronounced correctly.).

SISTER SUE

It’s the thought that counts, Momma Judy. (She hands Grandpa Leo eight dollars.) I only have eight dollars, Grandpa Leo.

GRANDPA LEO

You can owe me.

BABY NEIL

Where’s my gift, Sister Sue?

SISTER SUE

Baby Neil, I texted you a Merry Christmas.

BABY NEIL

That was you? There was no caller id; just a phone number and it said M-R-Y-X-M-A-S.

SISTER SUE

I’m glad you got it.

BABY NEIL

And it cost me twenty cents a text.

MOMMA JUDY

Don’t you have a gift for me, Baby Neil? It’s a tradition. Every year we do a gift exchange.

BABY NEIL

Every year we give each other worthless crap.

GRANDPA LEO

Hey-

SISTER SUE

It’s how we show we care.

BABY NEIL

Oh, then I guess I did get you something, Momma Judy. (Baby Neil reaches into his pocket and pulls out his hand flipping everyone the bird. Pause.)

MOMMA JUDY

That’s better.

(Blackout.)