I Believe...

(By Jimmy Margulies, New Jersey Record, Cagle Cartoons)

... that 1) It's not a mosque. 2) It's not at Ground Zero or can be seen from there. 3) Islam is a religion, not a terrorist organization. Seriously, there's more evidence for Catholics or Scientologists being terrorists than there is Islamics.

... that the issue of building a "mosque" at Ground Zero has nothing to do with principles or even appropriateness. It's a dog and pony show the GOP wants to parade about so people don't focus on the serious issues of jobs and economy and realize that the elephant crowd are the ones who screwed up in the first place. It's this decade's version of flag burning. In the 90s, around the mid-election of Clinton's first term, flag burning was ballooned into a non-issue by the GOP. They let you know they were adamantly opposed to it and even wanted to add a constitutional amendment banning it. They made you think people were out there building Old Glory bonfires when there was no issue at all. No one (in America) was burning the flag. This forced democrats into the position of defending free speech, ergo, defending flag burning. The GOP wants democrats out there defending building mosques in your neighborhood because it really, really scares the white people into voting republican. (Oh, and don't burn the stars and stripes. Unless its made in China. Which is almost all of them.)

... even though Rod Blagovahoghichch was found guilty on only one count out of 24, it's still a good thing he was knocked out of office. It prevented him from selling the bleepin' golden senate seat, screwing over a children's hospital and, hopefully, making more appearances on The View.

... that summer refuses to go out with a whimper. There's another 365 event this Saturday at 7pm at Quimby's bookstore in Wicker Park. It's free. Join me and some great Chicago comedy actors: Kevin Gladish, Chloé Ditzel, Bernie Balbot and Heath Cordts. They'll be performing monologues from 365 and I'll be reading one or two. Out loud.

... that Chicago theater gives artists the opportunity to try whatever the hell they want. This weekend features probably the most concentrated fringe festival in the world. 72 straight hours of off-the-wall theater at Mary-Arrchie's Abbiefest in Lakeview. And it's cheap. Day passes are $10, full weekend passes are $25. Swing by after Quimby's and stay as long as you can. My new gory comic one-act Creepy That Way will premiere after midnight.

... that I love teaching summer workshops at Second City. People come from all over the world to take these classes. This week, I have three students from Ireland and another student from Norway who I want to marry so I can move to Norway and take advantage of their excellent healthcare.