(Part Three of “Dancing with the Devil”)
Written by Joe Janes
1/31/09
13 of 365
CAST:
Sumi, 20s
Mannie, 50s
Chet, late 20s
Angel
Devil
Tyler
(Lights up on Mannie from “Better Than Money” at the counter of a fast food restaurant. Chet stands behind him. Sumi, in uniform and headset, hands him a “to go” bag of food.)
SUMI
Burger, fries and a cola. That’s four dollars and thirty-six cents.(Mannie counts the money out on the counter and Sumi puts it in the register except for one bill.)
SUMI (continuing)
Sixty-four cents is your change and… (She hands him the one “bill” and opens her arms. Mannie hugs her over the counter. He takes his food and leaves.) Have a nice day, Mannie.MANNIE
You, too, Sumi!SUMI
Hi, Cutie, what’ll it be today?CHET
Well, I will have a cheeseburger, fries, and a small coke.SUMI
We have a special today. For just fifty cents, you can get a hot fried apple pie dessert treat.CHET
Gee, I don’t know-(Sumi freezes, lights shift, Devil and Angel, and Tyler, a nice guy hand puppet, appear on Chet’s shoulders.)
DEVIL
Go for the pie, Chet. They fry it. Hot fried pie, it doesn’t get any better than that.ANGEL
You summoned me here over pie?DEVIL
Yes. Chet is watching his weight –CHET
No, I’m not.DEVIL
Chet should be watching his weight and, excuse me, who are you?TYLER
Hi, I’m Tyler. ANGEL
We were on a date.DEVIL
I didn’t realize it was “Bring A Date” to work day.ANGEL
We were on a swan boat ride. I couldn’t just leave him. I don’t want to mess things up with you, Tyler.DEVIL
I see. Now, you care about messing things up.CHET
Guys, I’m in a hurry. I really don’t need this, right now. DEVIL
Shut up, Chet.ANGEL
Don’t tell Chet to shut up. DEVIL
Okay, look. Maybe I just wanted to see you one more time before your transfer went through. You look good.ANGEL
Thanks. So do you. Really.TYLER
Maybe I should wait back at the swan boat.ANGEL
Don’t go anywhere, Tyler. DEVIL
Looks like someone’s a little halo whipped, right, Chet?ANGEL
Uh! You always have to try to piss me off, don’t you? Look, I’m sorry things didn’t work out. You need to move on.DEVIL
Yeah. I know. You’re right. Sorry you got dragged in to this, Tyler. You better take care of her.TYLER
Sure.ANGEL
Let’s go. Good-bye.(They leave. The Devil sighs.)
CHET
You going to be all right?DEVIL
I don’t know. CHET
You want some of my apple pie?DEVIL
Sure. (Lights change back.)
SUMI
Would you like the hot fried apple pie dessert treat?CHET
Do you recommend it?SUMI
It’s fried pie. What’s not to like?CHET
Then, yes, I would (looks at tag), Sumi. Cute name.SUMI
Thanks. (Writes on a napkin) I’ll bring your order out to you as soon as its ready and, hey, here’s my phone number so you can call me and we can go hang out or something.CHET
Yeah. Sure. I will. Thanks, Sumi. (He starts to leave)
SUMI
I like your parrot!(Lights fade)
9 comments:
Hmmm, they can be seen by others. Does that mean the supernatural entities were also heard by Sumi?
Is Mannie indigent? Did Sumi tip him?
Do these count as comments?
Okay, my logic on the world of the Angel and the Devil - They have the ability to start and stop time, which is indicated with technical cues - lights shifting and people freezing. When that's going on they go undetected. If lights are normal and people are in action, they are visible. Hey, I didn't make the rules...wait, yes, I did.
Mannie is not indigent. He's just using his love coupons to supplement the allowance his wife gives him. I believe Sumi counts the coupon fully as a dollar, which is why she gives him change. I also have her call him by name to indicate that she already knows why he uses the coupons.
They do count as comments. It means it wasn't clear, so that's something for me to look at and think about revising.
Forgot to mention my fondness for "halo whipped."
Love the Mannie callback.
Love the conclusion of the devil/angel triptych. The first one, by itself, not so much, but all three as a series work well together.
I like your parrot. Wonderful.
I like the Devil/Angel 3 parter as well. Since you work with college students and I just applied for a job to work with them, what about a sketch involving the use of all the text messaging acronyms, TTYS, SOL, OMG, WTF, STFU, FUBAR and u probably are aware of more of them!!!!
JB
Thanks for the suggestion, Jeannie.
I like the three-parter-ness of this, too. Thank Chris Othic for that for giving me grief about the rule of three. Damn him.
At first I thought this was a "hugging restaurant" I just went with it and was interested in what other "adult toys" would be included with the meal. Think about that! It wasn't until like Tyler showed up that my brained kicked in and went, Hey, wasn't that Mannie with no money?
You got one buy me again! Very devious of you Dr. Janes!
Oh, please explain (anyone) the parrot line?
@Henri: Sumi can see the devil on Chet's shoulder, but doesn't know what it is.
I like these three. In this scene, I have one tiny suggestion: that Tyler not appear when the Devil and Angel first appear, but when it's time for him to be noticed by the Devil. That might have happened when directing, but he's written in as appearing at the same time as Angel and Devil, so I thought I'd mention it.
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