Week 16, Day 108 - "Brace Beer"

“Brace Beer”
Written by Joe Janes
5/6/09
108 of 365

CAST:
PHIL
NANCY
BARTENDER
ANNOUNCER

(Lights up on Phil talking to Nancy sitting at a bar. They are looking friendly towards one another.)

PHIL

Wow, Nancy, I can’t believe this bar lets you have all the barbeque chicken wings you can eat. I must have eaten a whole chicken’s worth of chicken wings.

NANCY

Phil, I love a man who loves chicken wings.

PHIL

The only thing I love better is beer. Bartender? Two more over here.

NANCY

Phil, I love a man who loves beer.

BARTENDER

Two beers.

(They raise their beer bottles. Phil takes a sip and vomits.)

PHIL

Oh…oh…I’m so sorry. I guess I had too much of…everything.

NANCY

You disgust me, Phil.

ANNOUNCER

Don’t let failing to keep your beer down ever keep you from getting down. Next time, Phil, try Brace Beer.

PHIL

Brace Beer?

ANNOUNCER

Try it.

PHIL
I don’t think so, I just –

ANNOUNCER

Try it!

PHIL(gulp)

Ah, oogh, um, hey. It tastes pepperminty.

ANNOUNCER

Brace Beer soothes your stomach.

PHIL

Will Brace Beer keep me from – (vomits)

ANNOUNCER

Nope. But watch-

NANCY

Hey, who threw up…aw, little tiny roses.

PHIL

I did.

NANCY

That is so romantic. Come here, tiger, let’s have some more beer.

PHIL

Bartender, make it Brace Beer.

NANCY

Kiss me.

PHIL

But, I just-

(They kiss.)

NANCY

Mmmm. Like licking warm candy.

ANNOUNCER

Brace Beer – the party never has to stop, even when your body says it should. Anheiser-Boooooosh!

(Blackout)