Week 18, Day 125 - “Time Beavers"

“Time Beavers”
Written by Joe Janes
5/23/09
125 of 365

CAST
Miss Sara, 20s
Dale, 10
Missy, 10
Hank, 10
Tiffany, 10
Chip, 10
TB,?

(Lights up on Miss Sara’s third grade class. She sits in front of them with a cardboard clock with moveable hands.)

MISS SARA

…And that’s how we tell time! So, Dale, if the big hand is on the two and the little hand is on the five, what times is it?

DALE

Um, two after five?

MISS SARA

No. Good try, though. Missy? What do you think?

MISSY

Ten minutes after five o’clock?

MISS SARA

Very good.

HANK

That makes no sense whatsoever. If it’s ten after, shouldn’t the big hand be on the ten?

MISS SARA

Remember, Hank, the big hand is to count the minutes. The little hand counts the hours. Let’s put the big hand on the ten. What time is it Chip?

CHIP

Ten minutes till five.

HANK

See, that makes sense.

MISS SARA

Well, how many minutes after the hour is it? Tiffany?

TIFFANY

5-10-15-20-25-30-35-40-45-50…50.

MISS SARA

Very good. Everybody understand about telling time? Any questions? Hank?

HANK

This time thing, who invented it?

MISS SARA

Invented it? I don’t think anyone invented time.

TIFFANY

But, somebody invented clocks.

DALE

I think cavemen invented time so they wouldn’t miss their TV shows.

MISSY

You don’t need a clock to watch TV. Not when there’s TiVo.

DALE

Cavemen didn’t have TiVo, dummy.

MISS SARA

Hey, let’s not use bad names, Dale. I suppose someone really smart invented clocks a long time ago so people could be on time to meet up with one another.

HANK

Time is always moving. That’s why clocks run all the time. Right?

MISS SARA

You could say time is always moving. Some people say it flows, like a river.

DALE

Wouldn’t we get all wet?

MISS SARA

Time isn’t wet like a river, it just moves like one. There’s time in the past, like yesterday, and then there’s the present, today, now, and then there’s tomorrow.

HANK

What happens if time beavers build a dam and time backs up and floods everywhere? Then what happens?

MISS SARA

Well, I’m not -

TIFFANY

Then everything would happen all at once!

MISSY

I’m scared. Can we kill the time beavers?

CHIP

No, don’t kill the time beavers!

MISS SARA

No one’s killing the time beavers, Chip.

MISSY (crawling under desk)

Then how can we stop them?

MISS SARA

Time beavers don’t exist, Missy.

DALE

They’re extinct! God killed them!

HANK (Spinning the hands of Miss Sara’s clock)

I can feel it. There’s too much time. I’m up to my neck in time.

TIFFANY (starts running around)

Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!

MISS SARA

Tiffany, sit down!

CHIP

Call FEMA! Call the National Guard! Call Obama!

MISS SARA (takes clock away from Hank)

Give me that, Hank.

HANK

It’s a time tsunami!

MISS SARA (tears the hands off the clock)

Look! Look! Time has stopped. Look at the clock. The hands are still. Everything’s fine. Shhhhhhh! The time beavers are sleeping.

MISSY

Time is scary.

MISS SARA

Listen, children…. Time is just time. Clocks are a way to measure the seconds, minutes and hours of the day. It’s like a ruler. It’s a tool we use. It’s nothing to be afraid of. A clock is just a clock, a piece of furniture; like that chair is just a chair. We use it, it doesn’t use us. Understand?

CHIP

So, time’s not a bully that yells at tells us and tells us what to do?

MISS SARA

That’s right. We, human beings, made it up.

(The school bell rings. The kids all get up from their desks and head out the door.)

MISS SARA

That’s the bell. Now, get out of here. Bye-bye. See you tomorrow. What time tomorrow, Hank?

HANK

8:30am.

MISS SARA

That’s right. Get home safely.

(Everyone leaves. Miss Sara looks relived. From the opposite side of the stage, a time beaver enters. The time beaver wears white coveralls, a hard hat, and a big clock necklace. The time beaver takes the clock and the hands from Miss Sara, looks disappointingly at her, and exits. Lights fade.)