Week 22, day 148 - "Tracer"

“Tracer”
Written by Joe Janes
6/15/09
148 of 365

CAST:
Eric, 40s
Vandemeer, 40s


(Lights up on Eric standing alone in a parking garage. He hears a car in the distance. He hears a car door. He hears distant footsteps. He hears someone clearing their throat.)

ERIC

Is someone there?

(He hears stronger throat clearing and then Vandemeer walks out of the shadows in a trench coat and fedora, sucking on a milkshake.)

VANDEMEER

Yeah, kid. Sorry. Feeling a little phlegmy. Gotta cut down on these milkshakes.

ERIC

Did you find Melissa, Mr. Vandemeer?

VANDEMEER

Maybe.

ERIC

What do you mean “maybe”?

VANDEMEER

I mean maybe when I say maybe. I’ll walk if you don’t like how I do business, Eric.

ERIC

I’m sorry. It’s just, three in the morning in this parking garage. I feel like I’m doing something against the law.

VANDEMEER

Are you?

ERIC

I don’t think so. Are you?

VANDEMEER

You want the information or not?

ERIC

Yes, of course, I do. I just didn’t expect all this cloak and dagger stuff.

VANDEMEER

You try to find somebody who maybe don’t want to be found, you get the cloak and dagger stuff. Comes with the territory. Plus, these are my regular office hours. I get this space for free at night.

ERIC

Melissa doesn’t want to be found?

VANDEMEER

Look, kid. Let me give you some advice. You’re trying to find a girl you had a thing with a long, long time ago.

ERIC

I just want to see if she’s okay.

VANDEMEER

All right, then. She’s okay. We’re done here.

ERIC

Well, you have to tell me more than that. I paid you two thousand dollars to find her for me. How do I know you’re not just ripping me off?

VANDEMEER

She lives in Toledo with her third husband, Carl Busby.

ERIC

Melissa Busby?

VANDEMEER

Her kids are all in college or vocational school. She makes money as a nurse-for-hire. Eats more yogurt than any woman should. She likes the ponies.

ERIC

She’s always liked ponies.

VANDEMEER

Now she bets on them.

ERIC

I want to see her.

VANDEMEER

Here’s her number.

(He hands him a slip of paper.)

ERIC

Finally, a phone number.

VANDEMEER

Look, kid. Do yourself a favor. Throw that slip of paper away.

ERIC

I haven’t seen her in twenty years.

VANDEMEER

Exactly why you should file it in the trash bin. Things will never be the way they were with her. She was your sweetheart a long time ago. She’s changed. You’ve changed. You can’t reheat that hormone casserole.

ERIC

I don’t expect to. She was important to me. I wouldn’t be who I am now if she hadn’t pushed me in the right direction. I owe her. I want to thank her.

VANDEMEER

That’s what you say to help you get to sleep at night. But I know and you know you hope there’s a spark there that hasn’t gone out. Maybe it has, maybe it hasn’t. If it has, you’ll be broken hearted all over again. If it hasn’t, you’ll ruin her life and hate yourself for it. Leave it alone. Walk away. She’s doing okay. That’s all you wanted to know, that’s all you need to know. Am I getting through that bone beret you’re wearing?

ERIC

Yeah. I hear you. Thanks, Mr. Vandemeer.

VANDEMEER

If you want your two grand back –

ERIC

No, no. You did your job.

VANDEMEER

Good. I already spent it. I have some car wash coupons I could give you, though.

ERIC

That’s okay. I think I’ve got my money’s worth.

VANDEMEER

Throw that slip of pulp and ink in the can.

ERIC

I will.

VANDEMEER

If you like the job I did, tell your friends. Word of mouth is the best form of advertising. And the only one I can afford.

(Vandemeer nods, sips on his milkshake, and retreats into the shadows. Eric looks at the number, crumples it up. Think better of it and uncrumples it. He dials. We hear him dial and we hear the phone ring and pick up.)

VANDEMEER (VO)

Thank you for calling Vandemeer Car Wash and Detective Agency, if you’d like to leave a message-

(Eric hangs up.)

ERIC

Fuck!

(Blackout)