Week 22, day 150 - “My Father’s Beret”

“My Father’s Beret”
Written by Joe Janes
6/17/09
150 of 365

CAST:
Mother, 60s
Gabriel, 30s
Tabitha. 20s
Buck, 40s
Katrina, 30s
Katrina’s father, 60s
Fogo de Chao server, 20s


(Lights up on Gabriel and his mother in a coffee shop. Katrina, wearing a yellow bonnet, screams, running by the window behind them. Gabriel sees this. His mother holds out her teacup and saucer to him.)

GABRIEL

Did you see-?

MOTHER

Try this jasmine tea, Gabriel.

GABRIEL

Oh, that’s okay-

MOTHER

My arm is getting tired.

GABRIEL

Oh, okay. (He sips.) That’s nice, Mom.

MOTHER

Don’t you want to order one? Go ahead and order one. It’s your birthday.

GABRIEL

You just want me to find another reason to talk to the barista.

MOTHER

She’s a cutey pie. Couldn’t you just picture her covered in meringue?

GABRIEL

Yes. I could.

MOTHER

And I didn’t see a ring on her finger.

GABRIEL

I’m fine with my soy latte.

MOTHER

Okay. Just thought being your birthday and all. Live it up, Gabriel. Oh, that reminds me. Speaking of living it up.

(She reaches under the table and brings out a gift box.)

GABRIEL

Oh, you didn’t have to do that, Mom.

MOTHER

Of course, I did. You’re my boy. You’re a man. A fully-grown man. Living alone. With cats. But you’ll always be my boy. Open it.

(He does and he pulls out a black beret.)

GABRIEL

It’s a… beret?

MOTHER

Not just any beret, Gabriel. That beret belonged to your father. He was wearing it when we met. He looked very dashing in it and you will, too. Try it on.

GABRIEL

Oh, boy. (He reluctantly puts it on) Thanks, Mom.

MOTHER (adjusting it on his head)

Oh, my. Look at you. You are going to break a lot of hearts with that beret.

TABITHA

You folks doing all right over here?

MOTHER

It’s Gabriel’s birthday.

GABRIEL

Mom.

TABITHA

Happy Birthday, Gabriel. That is the most fantastic beret I have ever seen on a man. May I give you a birthday kiss?

GABRIEL

Well, I-

TABITHA

If you say no, I will die.

MOTHER

Say yes.

GABRIEL

Yes!

(Tabitha gets in his lap and gives him a big ol’ kiss. It lasts for a while. Buck, the manager enters.)

BUCK

Tabitha! This is highly inappropriate.

(Tabitha gets up quickly and adjusts herself.)

TABITHA

I’m sorry, Buck. I just couldn’t help myself.

BUCK

Turn in your apron, young lady.

(Tabitha takes off her apron.)

TABITHA

Buck. I need this job-

GABRIEL

Give her another chance; it’s my fault, really-

BUCK

You, sir! How dare you come into my establishment looking so god damn handsome. (Buck starts kissing Gabriel) It should be against the law.

GABRIEL

It might be a health code violation.

TABITHA

Save some for me, Buck.

(Tabitha tries to get some Gabriel action.)

GABRIEL

Mom! What have you done?

MOTHER

Nothing, son! It’s just your father’s hat. But you do look quite fetching in it. Meow!

(She starts rubbing Gabriel’s leg. He screams and runs out. We follow him outside the coffee shop in the alley. He takes off the hat and leans against the wall, out of breath. He hears Katrina sobbing softly.)

GABRIEL

Who’s there?

KATRINA

I’m sorry. I just came running out here from the restaurant next door.

GABRIEL

Fogo de Chau?

KATRINA

It’s really way too much meat. I had to get away.

GABRIEL

What’s that you’re holding?

KATRINA

It’s a yellow bonnet that belonged to my grandmother. My father gave it to me. I think it’s cursed.

GABRIEL

Put it on.

KATRINA

You don’t understand.

GABRIEL

Put it on.

(She does. Gabriel checks her out.)

GABRIEL (continuing)

Wow. It makes your eyes come alive. (He puts on his beret.) This belonged to my father.

KATRINA

It brings out your rugged jaw line. I want to cling to it like I was hanging off the edge of a cliff.

(They kiss. Katrina’s father, Gabriel’s mother, Tabitha, Buck, a Fogo de Chau server with a saber full of meat come into the alley.)

KATRINA’S FATHER

There they are!

(The mob rushes them. They quickly take off their headwear and the crowd suddenly stops as if quickly waking from a hypnotic state. They all wander off, leaving Katrina and Gabriel. Katrina and Gabriel kiss without the hats on. They shyly put the hats back on and kiss passionately. Lights fade.)