Week 24, Day 166 - "Red, White and Beer"

“Red, White and Beer”
Written by Joe Janes
7/3/09
166 of 365

CAST
Derek, 20s
D-Pack, 20s
Offstage Voice

(Lights up on Derek and D-Pack, wearing army fatigues and seemingly holding improv beers. It is night. They are looking at something up and out in the distance. We hear “booms” and light shifts.)

DEREK

I don’t get fireworks.

D-PACK

What’s there to get? Pretty colors. Loud noises. (He makes the sound of a rocket and a boom.)

DEREK

Why is it America has to commemorate things, like the Fourth of July, by getting drunk and blowing shit up?

D-PACK

And the eating. Don’t forget the eating. Lots of hot dogs and hamburgers. I’d kill for a good ol’ US Beef burger.

DEREK

You mean you’d kill for the right to have a US Beef Burger.

D-PACK

Yeah. That’s what I mean.

(We hear a whistle.)

OFFSTAGE VOICE

In-coming!!!

(We hear machine gun fire. D-Pack and Derek take what we thought were beers and unpin grenades with their teeth and throw them. They quickly hit the ground. Explosions!)

D-PACK

I wish I had a beer.

(Blackout)