Week 25, Day 169 - "Twi-Lite"

“Twi-Lite”
Written by Joe Janes
7/6/09
169 of 365

CAST
Edward, 13
Emily, 13
Bella, 13
Mrs. Cullen, 40s


(Lights up on Edward, a pale, slightly overweight 13-year-old sitting on a swing in the school playground. He looks as though his mother dressed him. His beat-up Spiderman backpack is at his feet. He is squinting at the sun. Off to the side and behind, Bella and Emily appear. They have been watching him. Emily is carrying one of the Twilight vampire books. Emily whispers into Bella’s ear and they giggle.)

BELLA

Are you sure?

EMILY

He has to be, Emily. He’s new, he’s a stranger, and he’s mysterious.

(Edward picks his nose and wipes it on his sweater under his arm.)

BELLA

He’s such a savage.

EMILY

See? Only a bloodthirsty animal would do that. Go talk to him.

(Emily pushes Bella. Bella turns to Emily and shoo’s her away. Emily exits.)

BELLA

Hey, new boy.

EDWARD

Hey.

BELLA

My name’s Bella. It’s not my real name. My real name is Sarah, but I don’t like it. I make people call me Bella. What’s your name?

EDWARD

Edward.

BELLA

Edward,really? I just knew it. You’re all shiny.

EDWARD

It’s hot out here. My mom makes me wear a sweater.

(Bella sits in the swing next to him.)

BELLA

You moved here with your family? Do you do that a lot? Move from town-to-town? So people can’t hunt you down?

EDWARD

I have special needs.

BELLA

Oh, so, do I, Edward.

EDWARD

Really? I didn’t see you in the special needs class.

BELLA

Edward. I know who you are. I know what you are. (She stands.) I want you to turn me.

EDWARD

Okay.

(He stands and faces her. He places his hands on her shoulders; she closes her eyes, and then, turns her so she is facing the other way. He sits back down. She opens her eyes.)

BELLA

Hey! You’re toying with my affections. Aren’t I good enough for you? Don’t you think I’m pretty? Oh, of course. I see. You’re fighting your urges. You don’t want to be a monster. (She kneels down and takes his hands.) It’s okay, Edward. I want this. I want to be one of you.

EDWARD

Okay.

(He opens up his backpack and hands her a safety helmet.)

EDWARD

Put this on. I’m supposed to wear it all the time, but it makes me feel stupid. If you wear one, I won’t feel so bad.

(They both put on the helmets.)

BELLA

I didn’t know about this part, but it makes sense. You run and jump so fast.

EDWARD

That’s what my mom says.

BELLA

Now will you bite me?

EDWARD

Okay.

(Edward bites her arm.)

BELLA

OW! Hey, that hurt!

EDWARD

Because I bit you.

BELLA

You’re supposed to hypnotize me first.

EDWARD

Okay.

(He makes a wavy motion with his hand. Bella responds like she’s a little faint. She closes her eyes.)

BELLA

I can feel it. Now, bite me.

(Edward looks at her and isn’t sure where to bite her. He gets down on all fours and bites her leg.)

BELLA (jumping away)

Ow! That freakin’ hurts! What’s wrong with you?

(Mrs. Cullen, Edward’s mom enters.)

MRS. CULLEN

Edward! What were you doing?

EDWARD (runs to his mom)

Mom!

MRS. CULLEN

What were you doing to this poor girl?

EDWARD

She wanted me to bite her.

MRS. CULLEN

Not again.

BELLA

So he is a vampire.

MRS. CULLEN

No, he’s not. But every teenage girl who’s read Twilight thinks he is.

BELLA

But he’s pale, and he’s shiny in the daylight, and he’s broody. Speaks very few words. And he bit me, twice.

MRS. CULLEN

He’s not a vampire. He’s mentally challenged.

BELLA

He’s a retard?

MRS. CULLEN

If that’s what you want to call it. Looks like he’s turned you into one, too.

(Bella takes off the helmet and throws it on the ground.)

BELLA

He can’t do that, can he?

MRS. CULLEN

Oh, sure. It’s like getting rabies. Better stay away from him, but, judging from your shiny forehead, it might be too late.

(Bella wipes seat off her brow.)

BELLA

Oh, no. Oh, no! Emily! Emily! He’s turned me into a retard!

(She runs off.)

EMILY (off)

Ew, stay away from me!

EDWARD

Are we going to have to move, again?

MRS. CULLEN

I don’t think so, Eddie. Just don’t bite people because they ask you to.

EDWARD

Okay. I love you, Mom.

MRS. CULLEN

I love you, too. Let’s go find some rats to feed on.

EDWARD (clapping hands)

Yay! Rats!

(Blackout)