Week 18, Day 124 - “Romeo Pizza"

(This was posted after midnight Friday)

“Romeo Pizza”
Written by Joe Janes
5/22/09
124 of 365

CAST:
Martha, 40s
Gary, 50s

(Lights up on Martha in her apartment late on a Saturday night. She is wearing what she probably considers to be a sexy housecoat. She is lighting candles, fixing up the living room. Her intercom buzzes and she answers it, trying to sound sexy.)

MARTHA

Hello.

GARY (VO)

Romeo Pizza.

MARTHA

Come on in, Romeo.

(She presses a button. Nervous, she grabs some Febreeze and spurts it around the apartment and under her armpits. The doorbell rings. She poses on the sofa.)

MARTHA

Come in, it’s open.

(The doorbell rings, again.)

MARTHA (a little louder)

Come on in, the door is open.

(The doorbell rings, again.)

MARTHA

It’s open!

(The door opens and standing there is Gary, a very old pizza delivery guy. He is out of shape and has pit stains on his polo shirt.)

GARY

Did somebody order a pizza?

MARTHA

You’re not Gary.

GARY

Yes, I am. I’m Gary. And you are (looks at address on pizza box) Martha Dandridge, right? You order a pepperoni pizza.

(Martha gets up and closes her bathrobe.)

MARTHA

There must be some mistake. I specifically asked for Gary to bring me my pie.

GARY

Well, there is more than one Gary that works at Romeo’s.

MARTHA

They asked me if I meant New Gary or Old Gary and I said New Gary.

GARY

New Gary. That’s me. Old Gary’s worked there longer than I have. I just started. Ergo, I’m New Gary.

MARTHA

This just won’t do. You’ll have to turn around and tell Old Gary, young hunky Old Gary, to bring me my pie.

GARY

I can’t do that, lady. I have to collect the money. $14.98. If I don’t collect the money, it comes out of my own pocket.

MARTHA

How insulting. I’ve never paid for a pizza in my life.

GARY

What did you do when the other Gary brought you pizza?

(Martha blows out candles and turns on the lights.)

MARTHA

What do you think?

GARY

Oh. That really happens? I thought that only happens in movies. Bad movies.

MARTHA

It happens to Gary. Once a week for a few months, now. It’s like ordering take out sex.

GARY

It’s been awhile and I didn’t shower today, or yesterday, but I can probably help you out.

MARTHA

Thanks. Now, I really don’t want that pizza. I’ll see if I can scrape up a few dollars. (She finds her purse and starts rummaging through it.) Say, aren’t you too old to be delivering pizza.

GARY

I’m too old for a lot of things. A job’s a job.

MARTHA

All I have is a ten.

GARY

Why don’t I split it with you? You take half the pizza and I’ll take half.

MARTHA

Keep it. Keep it all. Just send the other Gary along when you get back.

GARY

Martha, look. I know I don’t look nothing like Gary.

MARTHA

No. You don’t. Gary glistens.

GARY

I glisten.

MARTHA

You sweat.

GARY

Sweat, glisten, whatever. I understand you’re disappointed but that boy is eighteen if he’s a day. I may not be pumped up on hormones like him and, well, don’t have a lot of things going on physically like he does, but I’ll tell you what I do have going for me.

MARTHA

What’s that?

GARY

I kiss good. My wife used to tell me I’m a good kisser.

MARTHA

She used to tell you that?

GARY

She passed a few years back. Her nickname for me was Sugar Lips.

MARTHA

Really? I find that hard to believe.

GARY

Only one way to find out for sure.

MARTHA

Oh, what the hell.

(She steps towards him, but then grabs the Febreeze and spurts him down with it. She kisses him and, damn, if he wasn’t right. He dips her as they kiss. She is perklempt.)

GARY

Didn’t I tell ya?

MARTHA

Your wife was a lucky woman, Sugar Lips.

GARY (heads towards the door)

That was fun. Made my night. Hey, you keep the pizza. On me. Still want me to send Old Gary back?

MARTHA

Um, no. That’s okay. You know, this is too big for one person.

GARY

Thanks, but I really do need to get back. Manager thinks I’m slow enough as it is.

MARTHA

I could warm it up for lunch tomorrow. One o’clock?

GARY

I’ll bring the diet soda.

(He exits. Martha picks up the phone and dials.)

MARTHA

Yahn’s Chinese Restaurant? I’d like to order some Moo Goo Gai Pan. And please have Yahn Junior deliver it. Tell him it’s for Martha Dandridge. And hurry.

(She hangs up and looks around the room. She looks at the pizza box and sprays it with Febreeze. Blackout.)

Week 18, Day 123 - “Casa de Ned"

“Casa de Ned”
Written by Joe Janes
5/21/09
123 of 365

CAST:
Ned, 40s
Clancy, 12

(Lights up on Ned, in his underwear, making Jiffy Pop popcorn on the stove. Clancy, dressed, stands nearby watching, an odd mix of curiosity and concern on his young face.)

NED

What’s the matter, Clancy? Haven’t you ever had Jiffy Pop popcorn before?

CLANCY

No.

NED

Used to have it all the time when I was a kid. Good stuff. Have a seat. This shouldn’t take too long.

CLANCY

There’s no place to sit.

NED

Sure there is.

CLANCY

You don’t have any furniture.

NED

Sure I do. Here. Grab this. (He does) Just keep shaking it.

(Ned opens up the door to the balcony and brings in a cheap lawn chair.)

CLANCY

Why don’t you use the microwave for popcorn?

NED

Because I don’t have a microwave.

CLANCY

Mom does.

NED

Mom has a lot of things that I used to have. Here, pardner. A chair. Have a seat. Let dad do the cooking. (Ned resumes shaking the Jiffy Pop as Clancy sits in the lawn chair.) How’d you like sleeping out on the balcony last night? Just like camping, right?

CLANCY

I had trouble getting to sleep because of the smell from the dumpsters. And when I did, the garbage truck woke me up.

NED

Sorry about that. Shouldn’t be a problem, tonight. They only come once a week, you know. Here we go! Popcorn.

(Ned turns over a milk crate and sets the Jiffy Pop on it. Ned crouches as they both eat it.)

NED (continuing)

Good stuff, ain’t it?

CLANCY (shrugs)

Mom usually makes pancakes for breakfast.

NED

You’re not at your mom’s. You’re at your dad’s. And here at Case de Ned, we eat like men. And men eat popcorn for breakfast. Want to be a man, don’t you, Ned?

CLANCY

Yes. I guess. I don’t know. Why’s your place so small?

NED

Because I like it that way. It’s like living in a hotel.

CLANCY

Hotels have furniture.

NED

It’s like camping out in a hotel room. And I can put my clothes anywhere I want. Look, here are my pants, right where I left them. (He puts on his pants, peels off the popsicle wrapper stuck to the leg.)

CLANCY

What are we going to do, today?

NED

The question is what do you want to do, today?

CLANCY

Can we go see the polar bears at the zoo?

NED (checks his wallet)

Gosh, Clancy, I don’t know. It’s a Saturday. The zoo’s going to be really crowded.

CLANCY

Can we go see a movie?

NED

Movie? You can do that whenever you want, can’t you? It’s our first full day together in a long time and I’ve got this rad new studio apartment.

CLANCY

Got any games?

NED

Games? Hell, yes, I’ve got games. I have… Tetris on my cell phone. (He pulls his phone out of his pants and hands it to Clancy.) There you go. Now, we’re having fun. What are you doing?

CLANCY

Calling mom to come get me.

NED (Taking the phone back)

Hey, hey, now, Clancy. What would you want to do that for? This is a weekend just for us boys. Men.

CLANCY

I guess I thought you’d just have more stuff. And things to do. I missed you, Dad, but this place makes me feel sad.

NED

Lookie, here, Clancy. I hear you. I missed you, too. Every minute of every day. I wanted this weekend to be special. You’re my boy and I don’t like you seeing your old man living like this. But, the truth is, this is just where I’m at, right now. I remember when I was a kid, I used to think my parents had it all handled. If they needed or wanted anything, they just opened up their wallet or purse and made stuff happen. Life doesn’t work that way. I still have the same bills I had when I lived with you and your mom AND I have this place. But I’m only making the same salary at work. I’m pretty stretched. I’m doing my best and it will get better. You’ll see. Next time you come, bet you I have a couch. Maybe one that even folds out into a bed big enough for two.

(Clancy gives his dad a hug.)

CLANCY

Can we at least go get a real breakfast?

NED

Um…

CLANCY

Mom gave me twenty bucks.

NED

Sure, let’s go.

(Blackout)

Week 18, Day 122 - “Shows You Would Never See If You Didn’t Know Someone In The Cast”

“Shows You Would Never See If You Didn’t Know Someone In The Cast”
Written by Joe Janes
5/20/09
122 of 365

CAST:
ENYA/GIRL, 20s
SOLDIER, 20s
MOTHER, 20s

(Lights up on stage and in the house. Enya, dressed in clothes too tight for her body, walks on to the stage from the back of the house.)

ENYA (clapping, trying to pump up the crowd)

Woo-hoo! Yah! Woo-hoo! Hi, Mom! That’s my mom, everybody. My name, for those of you who don’t know me, is Enya. And I am the artistic director of the Oui, Ennui Theater Company. “Oui, Ennui” is French for “yes, ennui.” It’s a play on words. And while our name may be lighthearted, our message is anything but. Thank you all for coming out to see the opening night of our inaugural production and world premiere of “The Suffering” written and directed by me. Turn off your cell phones (she takes hers out) like I am doing right now. Oh, I got a text message. (She reads it.) Mom… (She mouths “thank you” to her mother)... This will just take a sec… (She texts her mom back)…smiley face! Now, turn them off and enjoy “The Suffering.”

(She exits as lights fade. We hear over dramatic music swelling as the lights come up on a small countryside well. The music subsides. A young girl – Enya in a shawl - in a wheel chair wheels herself out on to the stage. She looks sad. She hears a bird sing. This, for a moment, makes a smile come across her face. She listens for more, but the bird has flown away. She returns to the depths of her sadness. A solider in the midst of combat comes from upstage as if coming up over a hill. He is a large man. It looks like he has been at war for a long time. He sees the well and retrieves water from it and drinks with great thirst. He sees the girl and pulls his rifle out on her.)

GIRL

Moonbeams cause polio.

SOLDIER

Life causes polio.

(He keeps the gun trained on her. She continues to weep quietly. A mother in a shroud holding a baby enters from the other side of the stage. The girl notices her. The solider turns and looks. The mother takes the baby and drops it in the well. )

SOLDIER

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

(The mother kneels next to the well.)

MOTHER

An ornamental cherry tree blossoms but does not bear fruit. The fruit it does not bear is a cherry, which has a pit. A pit like this well.

(Dramatic music swells again as a large red balloon rises from the well. Holding on to its string is the baby. Tied to the baby is a sign that says “War Is Bad.” Lights fade to black. They spring back up and the actors take a bow to applause. Enya points offstage, trying to get Mother to go get something. Mother finally gets the hint and exits, quickly returning with flowers for Enya. She graciously accepts them and bows. She signals to the audience to quiet down.)

ENYA

Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming out and supporting live theater. Word of mouth is our best form of advertisement, so, please, if you liked the show, tell the rest of my friends. I just want to say how proud I am of this cast. We spent three long weeks on this show. And everyone did it because they believed in our message. War IS bad. No one here is getting paid. (Soldier looks surprised to hear this.) They worked really hard, they put up with me, and (she tears up) I just could not be more pleased. I think we have a hit on our hands.

(The actors all look awkward as Enya is moved to tears and lights fade to black.)

Week 18, Day 121 - "The Deaf of Theater"

“The Deaf of Theater”
Written by Joe Janes
5/19/09
121 of 365

CAST:
House Manager (voice-over)

(Lights up on an empty stage. House lights come up. We hear ambient audience chatter. The houselights gently flash twice and we hear an electronic bell ding twice. The audience chatter subsides.)

HOUSE MANAGER (VO)

Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to the Goodman Theater. Our original production by a Pulitzer Prize winning playwright starring that actor you have seen somewhere before but don’t know where but recall that you liked them is about to begin. Please take this time to turn off all cell phones. Blackberrys and iPhones are, for the record, considered cell phones. If you have a pager, turn it off and throw it away, now. Please also turn off all respirators, oxygen tanks and Life Alert systems. If you have fallen and you cannot get up, please stay down until intermission when one of our ushers, likely to be even older than you, will nod sympathetically in your direction. Do, however, make sure your hearing aid is turned on and up. Please do that now. Unless, of course, you aren’t able to hear what I am saying. If you are near a senior citizen who is simply smiling and nodding, please nudge them and shout to them to crank up their hearing aid. If you have candy, breath mints or cough drops, please unwrap them now and hold them in your sweaty hand until they meld into one giant glob of artificially flavored high fructose corn syrup and aspartame. If you are amazed, and slightly appalled, that we even need to bother with these pre-show announcements, I agree. But notice how many phones go off in the second act. All we can say is, “we told you” and all you can do is indulge yourself in looking about with uppity indignation. You’d think paying anywhere from $75 on up for a ticket would be enough to make someone automatically turn off their phone as soon as they hit the lobby, but no. These are the people currently talking to their neighbors instead of listening to me. And they will continue to talk throughout the show, so, buck up and get used to it. Pissed yet? If the general thoughtlessness of the people around you doesn’t do it and the pretentiousness of the production doesn’t do it, perhaps this will. See that portly, smelly guy next to you in the ball cap? He got in free because he has a blog and might, we hope, unleash a favorable, yet amateur opinion of our professional production upon the world. (Heavy sigh) We now proudly present our over-produced intimate Broadway Bound – fingers crossed - dramedy “Problems That Poor Black People Have That Rich White People Can Pretend to Relate to Without Having to Go Through The Hassle of Knowing Any Black People.” Enjoy?

(Blackout)

Week 18, Day 120 - "Pawn Broken"

“Pawn Broken”
Written by Joe Janes
5/18/09
120 of 365

CAST:
Leonard, 50s
Jack, 30s

(Lights up on a pawnshop. Leonard, late 50s sits behind a counter reading a paperback novel. Something cheap, tawdry and well leafed. Jack enters. He carries an old paper shopping bag with handles. It is late at night. He stands in the doorway and takes in the place.)

LEONARD

In or out, Pal.

JACK (entering further)

Sorry.

LEONARD

Buying or selling?

JACK

Uh, selling. Selling.

LEONARD

Bring it over here. I don’t bite.

JACK

Sure. I’ve never done this before.

LEONARD

You came to the right place, then. Most guys are going to try to screw you. Me? I’ll give you a fair deal. Leonard.

JACK (holds hand out)

Jack.

LEONARD

I don’t touch people. Nothing personal. (Leonard puts on a pair of gloves.) Now, show me what you got.

JACK (pulls small box out of bag)

I’ve got this. An engagement ring. I bought it at the mall and they said they don’t take ‘em back. Weird, hunh?

LEONARD

They don’t take it back because it’s not worth anywhere near what they sold it to you for. How much did you pay for this bauble?

JACK

Two grand.

(Leonard whistles in astonishment.)

LEONARD

I’m going to do you a favor. I’ll give you three hundred for it.

JACK

That’s a favor?

LEONARD

What’s the ring made out of?

JACK

Plutonium.

LEONARD

Plutonium?

JACK

Titanium. I meant, titanium.

LEONARD

May as well be made out of saltine crackers. It’s worthless. The rock is what, half a karat?

JACK

Three-quarters of a karat. And I have the certificate and receipt, too.

LEONARD

Three hundred dollars. You shop it around and see if anyone will give you more than three for it. You find a better deal, take it. You don’t, come back. What else you got?

(Leonard hands the ring back to Jack who puts it in his shirt pocket.)

JACK

A bunch of CDs.

(He hands Leonard a small stack.)

LEONARD

Ani DeFranco, Annie Lennox, the musical “Annie”… How much you going to give me to take these off your hands?

JACK

What?

LEONARD

I don’t need them. Nobody buys CDs anymore. Take ‘em and burn ‘em for the heat or something.

(He hands them back.)

JACK

I’m not doing to well, here.

LEONARD

Times are tough. Got anything else?

JACK

Just this.

(He hands Leonard a box. Leonard opens it, but the audience is unable to see inside of it. Leonard whistles, again.)

LEONARD

How old is it?

JACK

38.

LEONARD

38? Looks older. Looks like it’s been through the ringer.

JACK

It has. But, it’s still got to be worth something, right?

LEONARD (puts on one of those jeweler eye thingies)

Maybe. Maybe. Is it broken?

JACK

No. It still works, I think. Just banged up a bit.

LEONARD

Why would you want to pawn this?

JACK

I don’t need it anymore. I’m done with it. Maybe there’s someone out there who knows how to work one of those things.

LEONARD

Nobody I know. It’s hard to find replacement parts for these. Besides, and don’t you dare tell any other pawn shop owner that I told you this, I can’t afford to pay you what it’s really worth.

JACK

What should I do?

LEONARD (closing box and handing it back)

You hang on to this. I know a way to do some repair work on it. Give me that ring. I’m going to give you six hundred for it.

JACK (handing Leonard ring)

Okay. You sure?

LEONARD

I’ve had this shop thirty years. It ain’t gonna break me. You want cash or you want trade?

JACK

I never thought about trade. You’ve got a lot of musical instruments here. What can I get for six hundred?

LEONARD

You can get that amp and electric guitar, that saxophone or the keytar.

JACK

Can I get the amp and the keytar?

LEONARD

Today, you can.

(Jack straps on the keytar and picks up the amp, along with his shopping bag.)

JACK

Thanks, Leonard.

LEONARD

Take care of what’s in that box. And I don’t want to see you back here.

(Jack nods and exits out the door. Leonard picks up the phone and dials.)

LEONARD (on phone)

Hey, Manny… you looking for any engagement rings? Got one, titanium, ¾ karat, certified… two grand, I’ll let it go for eighteen hundred… okay. I’ll hang on to it for you.

(He hangs up and goes back to reading. He rubs his chest just lightly as if bothered by a bit of indigestion. Lights fade.)

Week 17, Day 119 - "Summer Evening"

“Summer Evening”
written by Joe Janes
5/17/09
119 of 365

CAST:
Carl, early 20’s
Mother, 50’s (voice only)
Mr. Drum, 40’s (voice only)
Mrs. Drum, 40’s (voice only)
Peggy, late teens
Brad late teens

(Circa 1948. Lights up on Carl. A thin, ratty looking man with soulful eyes. He sits in a dark red, heavy cloth, overstuffed chair with a doily on the back. It is slightly worn. Next to him is a lamp on a side table. The lamp is antique looking and has a pull string for switching it on and off. On the table is a pair of binoculars, a telephone and an ash tray. Carl is smoking a cigarette and staring intently out the downstage window. He closes his eyes for a moment, gets up and begins pacing behind the chair. He looks again out the window from behind the chair. He accidentally drops an ash on the floor. He backs his way to an upstage door, continuing to glance out the window, and quickly exits. Off stage, we hear him fumble through a closet. He returns with a broom and dustpan and sweeps up the mess, continuing to check out the window.)

MOTHER (off)

Carl…Carl…Carl! It’s Thursday night. Shouldn’t you be in bed? You have to work at the army base in the morning.

CARL

It’s Friday, Ma.

MOTHER (off)

What?

CARL

It’s Friday. It’s not Thursday. It’s Friday.

MOTHER (off)

……………………………………………Oh. How was your date?

CARL

I didn’t have a date.

MOTHER (off)

You had a date.

CARL

I didn’t have a date.

MOTHER (off)

I thought you had a date.

CARL

I had a date last Friday.

MOTHER (off)

………………………………………..Oh.

(Carl sees something out the window.)

CARL

Go to sleep, Ma.

MOTHER (off)

Goodnight, Dear.

(Carl looks agitated. He grabs the binoculars. He flips the emotional dial from anxious to angry to sad to bitter. He thinks he may have been spotted. He slinks down and crawls behind the chair. He reaches out and switches off the table lamp. He slowly returns to the seat/perch fixated on what’s going on outside the window. He picks up the phone and dials. It rings five times before someone picks up.)

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Hello?

CARL

Hello. Mr. Drum. Is Peggy there?

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Who is this?

CARL

It’s Carl Starling, Sir. Carl. From across the street.

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Are the clocks all broken at your home, Carl?

CARL

No.

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Did you call me because you needed me to tell you how late it is?

CARL

No, Sir. I know how late it is. I just wanted to talk to Peggy. Your daughter.

MR. DRUM (on phone)

I know who she is, Carl. She’s not here. I suggest you call back tomorrow at a reasonable time. Not before 10am and not after 6pm.

CARL

Are you sure?

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Am I sure what?

CARL

Are you sure she’s not home? I mean, I thought I saw her walk by our window. She might be on the front porch or something.

MR. DRUM (on phone)

Oh, for crying out loud in church on a Monday. Hold on…

(We hear Mr. Drum put down the phone.)

MRS. DRUM (off phone)

Who is it, Ashley?

MR. DRUM (off phone, walking away)

It’s that retard from across the street.

MRS. DRUM (off phone)

I don’t think that’s a nice thing to say.

MR. DRUM (off phone)

He wants to talk to your daughter.

MRS. DRUM (off phone)

Why does the retard want to talk to Peggy?

(FROM THE BACK OF THE THEATER, WE HEAR a screen door open…)

MR. DRUM (off)

Peggy!..

PEGGY (off)

Dad!

MR. DRUM (off)

Oh. Good evening, young man.

PEGGY (off)

Daddy, this is Brad. Brad, this is my Daddy.

BRAD (off)

Hello. How are you?

MR. DRUM (off)

I am fine. Someone on the phone for you, Peggy.

PEGGY (off)

Who is it?

MR. DRUM (off)

It’s that Starling boy from across the street.

PEGGY (off)

What does he want?

MR. DRUM (off)

Damn if I know.

PEGGY (off)

Tell him I’m not here.

MR. DRUM (off)

He knows you’re here. He lives across the street. He thinks you’re having a parade out here or something.

PEGGY (off)

Fine. I’ll talk to him.

MR. DRUM (off)

Tell him not to call so late.

PEGGY (off)

Sorry, Brad.

BRAD (off)

I forgive you.

PEGGY (trailing off)

I’ll be right back.

(We hear the screen door close and, through the phone, footsteps leading up to the phone and Peggy picking up.)

PEGGY (on phone)

Hello.

CARL

Hi, Peggy. It’s me. Carl.

PEGGY (on phone)

What do you want, Carl?

CARL

You know, I was just thinking about the great time we had last week at the carnival. I had such a great time. You had a great time, too. Didn’t you?

PEGGY (on phone)

Yeah. I had a really good time.

CARL

We should do it again, sometime.

PEGGY (on phone)

Yeah. Sure. Look. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s such a good idea. I’m leaving for college in a few weeks.

CARL

I know. It’s cool. College is cool. We can just, you know, no strings attached. Have some fun. Who wants to be tied down? Not me. That’s for sure.

PEGGY (on phone)

We’ll see. Um. I’m real busy, right now.

CARL

I wrote another poem for you. It’s a sonnet. Iambic pentameter and everything.

PEGGY (on phone)

I have no idea what that means. I have to go.

CARL

Sure. Okay. Maybe tomorrow-

(Peggy hangs up the phone. So does Carl.)

MOTHER (off)

Carl?…Carl? Are you on the telephone?

CARL

No, Ma. I’m not on the telephone.

MOTHER (off)

Then turn down the radio.

CARL

The radio’s not on.

MOTHER (off)

……………………………………………Oh.

CARL

Go back to sleep, Ma.

MOTHER

Goodnight, Dear.

(Carl goes back to the window. He doesn’t see anything across the street. There’s a knock at the door. He doesn’t know what to do. He takes short steps in different directions settling on standing against the far wall. Peggy enters. She is dressed like the girl in Edward Hopper’s “Summer Evening.” She is followed by Brad, who is dressed like the boy.)

PEGGY

Carl?…Carl?

(She turns on the lamp and sees Carl pressed against the wall.)

PEGGY (continuing)

Carl?

CARL

Oh, hi. Peggy. I didn’t hear you come in. Would you like something to drink for you and your guest. My mother made a pitcher of pink lemonade.

BRAD

Why is it pink?

CARL

I don’t know.

BRAD

Lemons aren’t pink.

CARL

No they are not.

PEGGY

Carl, this is Brad. Brad is my boyfriend.

BRAD

Hello. How are you?

CARL (he looks back and fourth between Peggy and Brad)

Are you going to hurt me?

BRAD

Are you talking to me or Peggy?

CARL

You?

BRAD

No? Peggy says you are in the military. You don’t look it.

CARL

I’m not in the military. I just work at the base.

BRAD

Oh. The military is cool.

CARL

I swear I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. You should have told me you had a boyfriend.

PEGGY

When we went to the carnival, I didn’t have a boyfriend. As of tonight, I have a boyfriend. I thought you should know.

CARL

Oh.

PEGGY

Thank you for writing a poem about me.

CARL

Two poems.

PEGGY

Goodnight, Carl.

(She starts to leave, Brad follows.)

BRAD

No lemonade?

PEGGY

We have some at home.

BRAD

Is it pink?

(They exit.)

(Carl goes back to the chair and sits down. He takes the poem out of his pocket, unfolds it and looks at it. He sets it on the table and turns off the lamp. LIGHTS FADE.)

Week 17, Day 118 - "A Kiss Anyway"

(This was posted after midnight Saturday)

“A Kiss Anyway”
Written by Joe Janes
5/16/09
118 of 365

CAST:
Gary, 30s
Ruth, 30s

(Lights up on Gary walking Ruth home after a first date.)

RUTH

Oh, here I am. Home, sweet, home.

GARY

Well, there you go. I had a great time, Ruth.

RUTH

Me, too, Gary.

(Gary leans in to kiss her.)

RUTH (continuing)

Oh.

(She receives his kiss. Although the intention is romantic, the kiss itself is brief. More than a peck, but no tongue! Gary moves his head back to where it was pre-kiss. They look at each other for a moment. Gary looks quizzical. Ruth is politely smiling.)

GARY

I’m going to do that, again, if you don’t mind.

RUTH

Okay.

(They kiss. Slightly longer than last time. They finish pretty much the same, with Ruth politely smiling.)

GARY

I feel like we just shook hands, but with our lips.

RUTH

We did.

GARY

We did?

RUTH

That was my “you seem like a nice guy, but I’m not interested” kiss.

GARY

Oh. So, you don’t want to go out, again?

(Ruth leans in to kiss him.)

GARY (continuing)

I can take a hint, Ruth. Goodnight.

(Blackout)