Monday, November 30, 2009

Week 46, Day 316 - "Forced Smile"

“Forced Smile”

Written by Joe Janes

11/30/09

316 of 365

Cast

Richard, 20s

Dow, 20s

Blair, 20s

The Man, 40s

(Lights up on Blair, Dow and Richard. Richard has half of his body laid out on a chair or two while the rest of his body sits/lies on the floor. Dow is flat on his back with his knees up. Blair stands downstage, wide-eyed, facing out, smiling. Out of boredom, Dow forces air out of pursed lips. He does this a few times until he starts to play with the sounds he is making. Making it staccato. Richard begins to wake up. He glares at Dow, who does not notice him. He crawls over and smacks his hand over Dow’s mouth mid-expulsion. He removes his hand, Dow continues the razzberry sound. Richard slaps his hand back. Every time he removes it, the sound continues until Dow is finally out of air. Once Richard is sure Dow won’t continue, he crawls back to his napping position and closes his eyes. Dow sits up. He looks at Blair and he looks over at Richard. He slowly crawls over to Richard and gets right up next to his ear. He takes a deep breath and-

BLAIR

I don’t have his phone number.

(Richard and Dow look at her.)

BLAIR

I don’t have his phone number.

(Richard and Dow look at one another and then back at Blair.)

RICHARD AND DOW

We don’t have a phone.

BLAIR

Still. I would rather have his phone number and not be able to call then to not have his phone number and not be able to call. That’s two reasons to not call. Having only one reason not to be able to call puts me closer to calling and hearing his voice.

RICHARD

But you have two reasons.

DOW

Three really.

RICHARD

Really?

DOW

No phone, no phone number.

RICHARD

That’s two.

DOW

She didn’t have it and lost it. She never had it. She doesn’t have his phone number because he didn’t give it to her. Three.

RICHARD

Two and a half.

BLAIR

He’ll come by. He’ll come by, again and I’ll be here. Waiting for him. (She puts her hand out and presses it against a glass pane.) He’ll come by.

DOW

Unless he’s waiting for you to call first.

(Richard slaps him.)

DOW

Ow!

RICHARD

You had a something… I got it.

(Blair sits down and starts crying. Richard and Dow rush over to tend to her.)

DOW

No, no, no, no….

RICHARD

Hey, hey, hey, hey…

DOW

He’ll be by.

RICHARD

Sure he will.

DOW

Any second now.

(They all three stop and look out. She goes back to crying.)

RICHARD

Soon. He’ll be by soon. He likes you.

BLAIR

Does he?

RICHARD

Of course he does. Everyone does. We like you.

DOW

He told me.

BLAIR

He told you?

DOW

Yes. With his eyes.

RICHARD

It’s written all over his face.

DOW

In big, simple words. Even I understand it.

RICHARD

He likes you.

BLAIR

He won’t like me if he sees me crying. (She starts to wipe her eyes.)

DOW

There you go.

RICHARD

That’s better.

(Richard and Dow stay crouched down as she gets up and looks out, again, smiling. Dow is about to say something. Richard, without looking, reaches over and smacks him.)

DOW

Hey! What was that for?

RICHARD

You were about to say something.

DOW

But I didn’t.

RICHARD

You were about to.

(He steams in silence for a moment.)

DOW

I was just going to say, if he doesn’t come, he’ll have me to answer to.

(Richard slaps his own forehead.)

BLAIR

You don’t think he’ll come?

DOW

Oh, he’ll come. But if he doesn’t. He has me to answer. Me, (holds up his fists) Lois and Fergie.

BLAIR

I see him.

(The man approaches from the audience to the front of the stage. He opens a small door and places three bananas inside of it. Richard grabs the bananas and hands one to Dow and one to Blair. Blair doesn’t take it. Richard tears it in half and he and Dow hungrily woof eat all the fruit. The man shuts the door and turns to leave. Blair lightly taps on the glass. He stops. Turns and looks at her. He opens the small door again and hands a banana out just for her. She shyly takes it from him, being sure to touch his hand in the process. He shuts the door turns and leaves. She holds the banana to her chest.)

DOW

Told you he liked you.

RICHARD

We were right.

(Blair is in heaven.)

DOW

You still don’t have his number.

(She throws the banana down and stomps off to the back. Dow and Richard fight over the banana as Blair tries to find an exit stage left or stage right for which to continue her stomping off. Lights fade.)