Written by Joe Janes
10/21/09
276 of 365
CAST
William, 20s
Shelly, 20s
(Lights up on a very small New York apartment. William sits in an upholstered chair leaning forward while reading a newspaper. He wears dark slacks, matching vest and tie and a white shirt. Shelly sits at an upright piano facing him. Between them is a small round table that also doubles as their dining table. Shelly wears a nice red dress. Her black hair pulled back. She is watching William read. He is oblivious to this. Clear she is not going to get his attention, she looks around the room, out the window and to the piano. Her lower body still faces William; she turns her upper body to softly strike a note or two on the piano.)
SHELLY
I’m going to make dinner.
WILLIAM (still reading)
Okay.
(She makes no move to get up and still plays the piano softly plunking a key or two without any intention to play a tune.)
SHELLY
That new chop suey place opened up down the street.
WILLIAM
I saw.
SHELLY
We could try it out. (William looks up from his paper.) Or not. (William goes back to his paper. More silence as he reads and as she occasionally breaks the silence with a poke at the piano keys.) Oh, I talked to Thelma today. She called next door and Mrs. Murphy was nice enough to let me take it, even though it wasn’t an emergency. She and Ernst are driving into the city to have dinner and go see a play called “The Gay Scoundrel.” Doesn’t that sound like fun?
WILLIAM
I hate drama.
SHELLY
It’s supposed to be madcap. She said it was about a scoundrel who shows up at the reading of a will and pretends to be a long lost relative. Thelma said it was madcap. (William does not look up from his paper. Shelly continues to ponder the piano.) What is madcap?
WILLIAM
Silly hat.
SHELLY
Right. Mad cap. Of course. They must wear silly hats in the play. Sounds like fun. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
WILLIAM
I hate drama.
SHELLY
I know. Just thought we’d do something different. I haven’t seen Thelma in ages. And you like Ernst-
WILLIAM (matter-of-factly)
I don’t like Ernst.
SHELLY
I told them about the chop suey place. I don’t think they’re going to go there, though. Ernst doesn’t like exotic food.
WILLIAM
Shelly. I’ve been on my feet all day. I like coming home and reading the paper.
SHELLY
We could just go for a walk.
WILLIAM
My feet are killing me.
(Shelly looks at William as he continues reading. She looks quietly exasperated, close to tears. She calms herself and returns to the piano. She hits a few notes quietly and then one note loud and with much discord. William looks at her, she does not turn toward him.)
WILLIAM
You look pretty.
SHELLY
I know.
(He goes back to reading.)
SHELLY
That’s yesterday’s newspaper.
(William checks it out.)
WILLIAM
So, it is.
SHELLY
And you haven’t turned the page in quite some time.
WILLIAM
I’ve been reading the same paragraph over and over. Something about powdered milk.
SHELLY
I’m dying in this place, William.
WILLIAM
We’ve talked about this.
SHELLY
I know.
WILLIAM
I’m not made of money. Times are hard. I’m lucky to have a job. Things will get better.
SHELLY (she looks at him)
When?
WILLIAM (he returns the gaze)
When they do.
(He retreats to the newspaper. She looks at the piano. She turns back towards him suddenly. He looks up. She slowly reaches across the table and takes the newspaper from him. She looks devilish. She takes one of the pages and folds it into a paper hat. William watches helplessly. She sets the hat on William’s head.)
SHELLY
Mad cap.
(William stands.)
WILLIAM
Well, since I have on my best chapeau, would the lady like to accompany me and perhaps share a small plate of finely chopped suey?
SHELLY (standing)
The lady would.
(He takes her arm. They turn toward the door, standing, not moving. Lights fade.)
