Written by Joe Janes
233 of 365
DJ Bertram, 30s
(Lights up on DJ Bertram spinning “La Vida Loca” behind a set of turntables. He finishes up some high-energy track and grabs his mic.)
Hey, Class of 99! Are you ready to par-tay! (There is little or no response) Okay! Let’s funk it up and see if we can’t fill this dance floor! (Someone runs up and hands him a note) Before we funk it up, I have this announcement. (He reads the note)… A big list… Christopher Othic, whoo!… Nathanial Topping, yay!… Gregory Wendling, ho!… Michael Bauman, rocks…Joseph Janes, can I get a whoop-whoop!...Geoffrey Crump, Crumpy-crump!...Catherine Monahan, yes!...and (reading note closer) they have all passed away since graduation and we’d like to have a moment of silence…(He now has an awkward moment of silence as all the energy in the room is now completely gone.)…So, um, let’s get this party restarted with (hits switch and music starts playing) another hit from 1999, Smash Mouth’s "All Star"...Enough dead talk, because those guys are all all stars in heaven, or wherever, probably, am I right? Yep! Let’s dance!
(Lights fade as DJ Bertram dances it off.)