Tuesday, August 21, 2007

...And We Get The Shaft

You've probably been following the heart-breaking efforts to rescue the coal mine workers in Utah.

Something's been gnawing at me about it.

At first, I ignored this impulse because, for crying out loud, it was a mining accident. I can't blame Bush for everything. Turns out, I can. Bush didn't learn from the "Heckuva job, Brownie" FEMA/Katrina fiasco. His dogged pursuit of cronyism and placing the most unqualified corporate friendly yahoos in the highest positions may have lead to the severity of the disaster and foul ups in the rescue efforts. Check out the man who leads the rescue effort, Mine and Health Safety Administrator, Richard Stickler.

This is from ABC.

Stickler's rocky road to appointment

Also coming to light, is the fact that Stickler's nomination to head the mine administration was twice rejected by congress and rejected when republicans were still in charge. Rejected reportedly by senators who were concerned about Stickler's safety record when he operated mines. After his nomination was twice rejected by the Senate, President Bush gave Richard Stickler the mine safety job with a recess appointment. That's a presidential appointment made when congress is not in session.

When did Bush push that sneaky recess appointment of Stickler to mine safety czar? October 2006. One year and one month after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the Gulf Coast states.

Mad as hell? Me, too. Tired of this crooked administration getting a blank check? Me, too. Feel like there's nothing we can do about it that will make a difference? Me, too.

Well, if you can't beat 'em...

Dear Mr. President;

How are you? I am fine. Hope you are enjoying your vacation.

As you go into your final year and few months in office, it appears as though some members of your administration are leaving. You might be worried about this . Who's going to take one of these jobs that will likely only last til a more discerning, and less fun, commander-in-
chief takes office?

Fear not. I am here.

I am ready and willing to take up any position you would like to appoint me to. It looks like that mine safety seat might be opening up soon, but, really, I am equally unqualified for any position you would like me to fill.

Here is a list of my key attributes that I think you might find desirable for someone in your employ.

1) I am able to put a positive spin on any bad situation. (Just ask my creditors when payments are late. I can often be heard on the phone saying things like, "Rest assured, we are on top of it.")

2) I wear long sleeves all year round and often roll them up to give the appearance that I have been hard at work.

3) I have several "looks" that are perfect for cameras. In my photo-op canon, I have at the ready; "Lock Jaw Stoic," "Head-Slightly-Cocked with Compassion" and, my masterpiece, "The Furrowed Brow of Concern."

My only weak points are that I work too hard and care too much (Ha! See number one of my key attributes. I told you I was good!)

With Congress on recess, this, as you know, is the perfect opportunity to put me in. And if it gets out that I usually vote democrat, then, great! This will get those bi-partisan whiners off your back.

As far as salary and benefits go, I'm willing to make do with whatever the minimum six-figure starting pay is plus health insurance (Eat me, Michael Moore!). I'm sure there are some other perks offered by corporations that will help me get by on such a paltry starting wage.

It's not about the money, any way, Mr. President. I am here to serve you and our country. And when I say
our country - I do mean your country and my country. Not the democrats' or republican turncoats' country. Or the terrorists.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in Christ,



This is something Mike Gerber featured on his website. I thought you and my friends over at
The Graffiti Table would enjoy it. It was created by a group called The Elders of The Dark Tower (of Xxoron). It's an excellent example of commercial parody.


Alphonse is the musician working with Planet Terrance and me on the Around the Coyote project. Here's his MySpace page which features a few of his songs. He played The Dance for us and, it may be because it was the first time I heard it, I have a slight preference to the live acoustic version he performed. Check out all his songs, though, especially Weather Girl. Hopefully, Anu's busy schedule won't prevent him from performing live at our shows.


Yesterday, I asked...

"In an Orlando, Florida guns-for-sneakers exchange last week, police were surprised when a man turned in what?"

28% said "Civil War Gatling Gun"
- Nope. He wasn't holding on to it in case of a North-South re-match, either.

14% said
"A love gun"
- That's not it, either. Even though I'm not exactly sure what a love gun is, I don't think the cops would swap a pair of shoes for one.

Nobody went for "An antique canon"
- I was shooting blanks with that one. Or maybe with my love gun.

58% got the right answer of "
A surface-to-air missile launcher"

A freakin' what?

Yes. A surface-to-air missile.

According to the
Associated Press, an anonymous Florida man turned it in for a pair of size three Reeboks for his daughter. He said he found it in a shed he tore down last week and none of the dumps he took it to would take it. More proof that everyone in Florida is insane. Crazy from the heat and humidity. Pretty bad when I consider the only sane place down there to be a theme park run by a mouse.