Showing posts with label International Space Station. Show all posts
Showing posts with label International Space Station. Show all posts

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Week 21, Day 145 - "The Constant Present"

(Back up and running! Whew! Here is Friday's post.)

“The Constant Present”

Written by Joe Janes
6/12/09
145 of 365

CAST
Marty, 30s
Arnold, 20s

(Lights up on Marty and Arnold, two US soldiers guarding the wall of the Green Zone in Iraq.)

MARTY
I’m just saying, maybe it already has happened, Arnold. Maybe somebody did it here. Maybe someone from the future came back in time to Iraq and made sure we killed Sadam Hussein. Maybe there’s a future where Sadam Hussein lived and became an even bigger evil asshole.

ARNOLD
That would mean he’s still alive.

MARTY
Maybe he is. If someone came back in time to kill him.

ARNOLD
Whoa, Marty. That’s nuts. If someone came back in time and killed him, then they changed the future. He’s dead. They changed the outcome. It would happen in a flash and we wouldn’t even notice.

MARTY
I don’t think it works like that. Suppose tomorrow you went back in time and killed Hitler.

ARNOLD
I would so love to do that.

MARTY
Let’s say Hitler, turns out, banged some German barmaid who got pregnant, had a son and that guy turned out to be your grandfather.

ARNOLD
Hey, my great great grandmother did not bang Hitler.

MARTY
Hypothetically.

ARNOLD
She didn’t do it that way, either.

MARTY
All right, it was my great great grandmother. Okay?

ARNOLD
That is a more likely scenario.

MARTY
So, by killing Hitler, you prevented me ever being born. So, what does that mean about right now. Are you on this wall right now talking to me? Or am I simply erased from the world in the blink of an eye? Or maybe you’re not here at all. Maybe my not being born threw things off so much you went on different path in your life. Different job, different location.

(They start making sandwiches as they are now working behind the counter of a Subway sandwich shop.)

ARNOLD
You’re making it too complicated. You kill Hitler, the Jews don’t die, everything is hunky dory. We would still be having this conversation because I don’t leave till tomorrow, right?

MARTY
Well, I actually agree with half of what you are saying. It’s like this foot long chicken teriyaki sandwich with tomatoes. Let’s say the sandwich is a timeline. (He holds up the sandwich.) Let’s say I go back in time and eliminate the first tomato in the sandwich’s history. Now, did that get rid of all the tomatoes that follow?

ARNOLD
No. I can still see them tomatoes.

MARTY
Right. This end of the sandwich is the present, as we know it. It doesn’t change. However, by altering that sandwich’s past, we create a new sandwich that exists elsewhere.

ARNOLD
And we live in that new sandwich, too?

MARTY
Maybe. If we do, we don’t know it. It’s a different reality. This is our reality and this is our constant present. The “now” that we live in.

(They shift to making a dam by hand with logs.)

ARNOLD
A constant present. Like, for us, there’s always us, here, now. If someone goes back in time and changes something, it doesn’t affect us.

MARTY
That’s right, Arnold. Now you’ve got it. It creates a new timeline. It’s like a reboot at that point in time, but it goes off in a different direction, leaving this one the way it is. The end of that log is too wide. Gnaw it down so it will fit in the dam.

(Arnold uses his beaver-like teeth to gnaw down the end of the log as Marty uses his beaver tail to pat down some logs into place.)

ARNOLD
So, if I was a Jew and invented a time machine in my concentration camp and went back in time to stop the holocaust, I’m not really stopping the holocaust.

MARTY
You are for a new reality, but not for your own. Not for the ones you left in the “present.”

ARNOLD
And when I come back, do I come back to my old timeline or the new one?

MARTY
You are just you, so you come back to your old timeline. Things don’t change for you. I mean, if they did, all sorts of things would happen. Not just circumstantial things, huge evolutional things could happen. We could like, lose our tails and fur because we accidentally changed nature and nature figures we don’t need ‘em anymore.

ARNOLD
I would be lost without my tail.

(They are now floating outside a spaceship making repairs.)

MARTY
But, you know, we wouldn’t even know or realize because this is our reality, our constant present. It is what it is. Man, I think we’re too close to that black hole.

ARNOLD
I didn’t want to alarm the rest of the crew, but, yes, we are. Once we get these thrusters repaired, we’ll warp out of here.

MARTY
All in all, I think it’s probably best not to mess with time travel. Be happy where you are.

(They are back to guarding a wall.)

ARNOLD
Yeah. I guess you’re right, Marty. Make the best out of your constant present because you really can’t change things.

MARTY
That’s right, Arnold.

ARNOLD
Let’s hope those Texans don’t try to change things by trying to sneak over this wall.

MARTY
God bless Oklahoma.

ARNOLD
Why would I want to kill some guy named Hitler?

MARTY
Who?

ARNOLD
Hitler?

MARTY
I don’t know who that is.

(Blackout)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Week Six, Day Thirty-Six - "Zombie Space Aliens"

“Zombie Space Aliens”
Written by Joe Janes
2/23/09
36 of 365

CAST:
Sergei, 30s
Glenn, 20s
Topol, 50s
Midge, 50s

(Lights up on the International Space Station. Glenn and Sergei are “floating” downstage working on some control panels. In the background, Midge and Topol work on a hydroponics project.)

SERGEI
Glenn. Nice to have a new face on the space station.

GLENN
Thanks, Sergei. It’s a dream come true for me. I don’t care how many books you read or how many TV shows or movies you see, nothing captures the experience of actually being blasted into space and then, well, being here. The beauty out there. So, clear and it goes on forever. It’s awe-inspiring.

SERGEI
Yeah, that gets old fast. So, what did you bring?

GLENN
What did I bring? The usual stuff, I guess.

SERGEI
No bullshitting. We’re up here together for a year. If you brought something you weren’t supposed to, tell me. Or I’ll find out later when I go through your things.

GLENN
Hey, what are you saying? You’re not allowed to go through my personal things.

SERGEI
There are a lot of things I’m not allowed to do. Doesn’t stop me from doing them. There are only four of us up here. You want to call mission control and have them send your mommy to come pick you up?

GLENN
I’m just saying that in the interest of peaceful international relations, we’re not getting off to a good start.

SERGEI
Okay, Glenn. But if you’re really interested in peaceful relations, you’ll tell me what you brought.

GLENN
I told you what I brought.

SERGEI
Glenn, it’s okay. Everybody brings something they’re not supposed to. Everybody.

GLENN
Everybody?

SERGEI
Topol, back there. Brought a stack of pornography magazines. Didn’t you, Topol?

(Topol waves)

SERGEI (continuing)
God bless him.

GLENN
Does he share?

SERGEI
Unfortunately, yes. He’s in to fatties with bad skin and hair. But, you know…in a pinch…

GLENN
Did Midge bring porn?

SERGEI
Midge brought pot.

GLENN
She brought marijuana.

SERGEI
Seeds, too. Check out hydroponics specimen 420.

GLENN
This is sensitive equipment. You can’t smoke in here.

SERGEI
We don’t. We step outside. Remember that astronaut that lost a tool bag on a space walk?

GLENN
Yeah.

(Sergei mimes hitting on a joint.)

GLENN
But, you’d have to smoke inside your space suit helmet.

SERGEI
Best high in your life.

GLENN
What did you bring, Sergei? Vodka?

SERGEI (angry)
That’s a pretty racist comment, American… Just kidding! You want some?

(He sips on a straw coming out of the shoulder of his work suit.)

GLENN
Sure, why not. (He takes a small sip.) Wow –

SERGEI
Makes the paste-food we eat a lot more palatable.

GLENN
You guys sure know how to party. Sorry I was so cagey about “bringing stuff.” When you said, “everybody does it” I didn’t think you meant everybody.

SERGEI
I knew you brought something.

GLENN
I did. A gun.

(He pulls a small handgun out of his pocket)

SERGEI
A gun?

MIDGE
He has a gun!!!

TOPOL
Everybody get down!

(The three continue hovering and cover their heads with their arms.)

GLENN
No, no, no, no. It’s okay. I have the safety on.

SERGEI
A gun! You bring a fucking gun onto a space station?

MIDGE
What the hell were you thinking, Glenn?

GLENN
Hey, you brought pot.

TOPOL
If you can’t smoke it, eat it or tug to it, it’s worthless.

SERGEI
And dangerous. You accidentally shoot through the hull and we’ll all get sucked out of a hole the size of my belly button. And my belly button is petite.

GLENN
I thought it might come in handy.

MIDGE
Handy how?

TOPOL
Does my pornography threaten you?

GLENN
A little. But I would never use my gun for that. Look, it’s space. The final frontier. We don’t know what’s out here. We’re just sitting ducks waiting for some zombie space aliens to come along and eat our brains.

SERGEI
Zombie space aliens. You’ve seen too many movies.

MIDGE
Bad movies.

TOPOL
Good thing you’re here to protect us. I don’t want a zombie space alien eating my porn.

MIDGE
I think one already ate Glenn’s brain.

GLENN
All right. All right. It was dumb. You’ll never see this thing, again. (He puts it in his pocket.) Sorry I didn’t bring any good contraband to share.

(He goes back to work. The others do not.)

SERGEI
It’s okay, American. We’re glad you are here.

GLENN
Thanks. Why are you all staring at me?

(They all three grab him and start eating him. Lights fade.)