Tuesday, June 17, 2008

McCain and O'Bama

Two Irish guys duking it out to become the next President of the United States. With the exception of their √Čire roots, no two candidates could be more different from one another - unless one of them had a vagina. Which, to be honest, has yet to be determined. O'Bama did have a suspicious camel toe in that infamous picture of him coming out of the water at the beach.

Here's one thing they do have in common - a blog! Both candidates have blogs linked to their official websites. Just like me, they write about the big whatever and hope their family and friends read what's on their mind.

I took the opportunity to meme them and have posted their responses.



1) Why do you blog?
a) Scarlett Johannsen thinks it's cool.

2) What are you listening to on your iPod?
a) "Mista Mista" by The Fugees. Mista mista/Can I get five dollars/So I can get something to eat/Hell no motherfucka/You can’t get no money from me. I have it as my ringtone.

3) What's your favorite TV show?
a) "24" - before they shot the black president.

4) If you were a gay man, what famous man would you like to marry?
a) Martin Luther King. As long as he promised not to fool around on me.

5) If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?
a) My ears. They're too big. It makes it difficult to wear hats. I never know whether to tuck them in or not.




1) Why do you blog?
a) To keep you safe.

2) What are you listening to on your iPod?
a) That's not an iPod. It helps me hear better. However, when I get the opportunity, I like to crank up the portable record player and get pumped up to Abba's "Take A Chance On Me." If you change your mind, I’m the first in line/Honey I’m still free/Take a chance on me. Errr, I feel like I can take on the world! Or, at least Iran.

3) What's your favorite TV show?
a) "24" - Good tips.

4) If you were a gay man, what famous man would you like to marry?
a) I'm already married, so it would have to be an affair. George W. Bush. Hell, I'm already in bed with him. May as well seal the deal. Joe Lieberman would be up there, but I don't want to have to explain to mom why a j-e-w is sneaking out of the house.

5) If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?

a) I would like to have not had cancer. Or be old. But you said just one thing.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Judge Pete Zahra in Australia halted a drugs trial because several jurors admitted to doing what during proceedings?"


33% said "Texting"
- GLTY!

No one said "Sleeping" or "Drugs"

67% got it right with "Sudoku"

According to BBC News, Judge Peter Zahra aborted proceedings after the jury forewoman admitted she and four others had been playing the popular puzzles to fight off boredom. The problem was discovered when some of the jurors were observed writing notes vertically rather than horizontally. The three-month trial had cost taxpayers more than A$1m (US$945,000) and the two accused men faced possible life sentences.

Nothing like being judged by a jury of your peers.

See, this is the problem with courtroom dramas. Shows like Law and Order make it look too exciting. What a let down to finally be on a jury and discover how inane and tedious the whole thing is. These jurors should not be thrown off the jury. The defender, the prosecutor, and, yes, even the witnesses should be told to spice it up a bit. The accused should be encouraged to have emotional and physical outbursts. Friends and relatives should be openly wailing and gnashing their teeth. Clearly, these folks don't need justice. They need a drama coach.