Written by Joe Janes
4/2/09
74 of 365
CAST:
Counter Girl
Counter Help
Person #1
Person #2
Person #3
Person #4
Person #5
Person #6
(Lights up on Counter Girl at a fast food restaurant. Behind her is Counter Help. There is a line of people.)
PERSON #1
Cup of coffee, please.COUNTER GIRL
Huge, large or giganto?PERSON #1
Giganto, please.COUNTER GIRL
Here you go.(Counter Help gives him a wastebasket size cup of coffee and he quickly exits.)
PERSON #2
I’ll have a giganto coffee and a donut.COUNTER GIRL
Plain, frosted or double deep-fried in sugar?PERSON #2
Oh, double deep-fried.COUNTER GIRL
Sprinkles? PERSON #2
Sure. Why not?(Counter Help give shim his order and he’s off.)
PERSON #3
Yeah. Let me get a giganto coffee, latte-style, double deep fried donut with sprinkles and a shot of alcohol.COUNTER GIRL
Tequila?PERSON #3
Surprise me.COUNTER GIRL
Tequila.(Counter Help gives the Person his order. He does the shot as he exits. A Person #4 bursts in and cuts in line.)
PERSON #4
Boobs, please.COUNTER GIRL
I’m afraid all we have are pictures of boobs.PERSON #4
That’ll work.(Counter Help takes a Polaroid of her chest and hands the Person the picture.)
PERSON #4 (exiting)
Thanks! You’re a lifesaver.PERSON #5
Uh, yeah, I’ll have a giganto coffee, decaf, Stevia and non-dairy creamer, double deep-fried donut, hold the sprinkles, shot of tequila and…oh, is that Percodan? One of those.(Counter Help gives her the order and she exits.)
PERSON #6
Giganto coffee, double deep-fried donut with sprinkles, shot of tequila, Percodan and…a bag of weed.COUNTER GIRL
Sir, “weed” is against the law. Could I interest you in a handgun, instead?PERSON #6
Okay.COUNTER GIRL
Bullets?PERSON #6
Sure. Why not.(Counter Help gives him his order. He licks the gun as he walks off. Counter Girl and Counter Help stand alone for a moment with nothing to do. Counter Help takes a handful of Percodan and dry swallows them. Counter Girl swigs from a bottle of tequila. Lights fade.)
