Thursday, April 2, 2009

Week 11, Day 74 - “What America Runs On”

“What America Runs On”
Written by Joe Janes
4/2/09
74 of 365

CAST:
Counter Girl
Counter Help
Person #1
Person #2
Person #3
Person #4
Person #5
Person #6

(Lights up on Counter Girl at a fast food restaurant. Behind her is Counter Help. There is a line of people.)

PERSON #1
Cup of coffee, please.

COUNTER GIRL
Huge, large or giganto?

PERSON #1
Giganto, please.

COUNTER GIRL
Here you go.

(Counter Help gives him a wastebasket size cup of coffee and he quickly exits.)

PERSON #2
I’ll have a giganto coffee and a donut.

COUNTER GIRL
Plain, frosted or double deep-fried in sugar?

PERSON #2
Oh, double deep-fried.

COUNTER GIRL
Sprinkles?

PERSON #2
Sure. Why not?

(Counter Help give shim his order and he’s off.)

PERSON #3
Yeah. Let me get a giganto coffee, latte-style, double deep fried donut with sprinkles and a shot of alcohol.

COUNTER GIRL
Tequila?

PERSON #3
Surprise me.

COUNTER GIRL
Tequila.

(Counter Help gives the Person his order. He does the shot as he exits. A Person #4 bursts in and cuts in line.)

PERSON #4
Boobs, please.

COUNTER GIRL
I’m afraid all we have are pictures of boobs.

PERSON #4
That’ll work.

(Counter Help takes a Polaroid of her chest and hands the Person the picture.)

PERSON #4 (exiting)
Thanks! You’re a lifesaver.

PERSON #5
Uh, yeah, I’ll have a giganto coffee, decaf, Stevia and non-dairy creamer, double deep-fried donut, hold the sprinkles, shot of tequila and…oh, is that Percodan? One of those.

(Counter Help gives her the order and she exits.)

PERSON #6
Giganto coffee, double deep-fried donut with sprinkles, shot of tequila, Percodan and…a bag of weed.

COUNTER GIRL
Sir, “weed” is against the law. Could I interest you in a handgun, instead?

PERSON #6
Okay.

COUNTER GIRL
Bullets?

PERSON #6
Sure. Why not.

(Counter Help gives him his order. He licks the gun as he walks off. Counter Girl and Counter Help stand alone for a moment with nothing to do. Counter Help takes a handful of Percodan and dry swallows them. Counter Girl swigs from a bottle of tequila. Lights fade.)