Written by Joe Janes
7/3/09
166 of 365
CAST
Derek, 20s
D-Pack, 20s
Offstage Voice
(Lights up on Derek and D-Pack, wearing army fatigues and seemingly holding improv beers. It is night. They are looking at something up and out in the distance. We hear “booms” and light shifts.)
DEREK
I don’t get fireworks.D-PACK
What’s there to get? Pretty colors. Loud noises. (He makes the sound of a rocket and a boom.)DEREK
Why is it America has to commemorate things, like the Fourth of July, by getting drunk and blowing shit up?D-PACK
And the eating. Don’t forget the eating. Lots of hot dogs and hamburgers. I’d kill for a good ol’ US Beef burger.DEREK
You mean you’d kill for the right to have a US Beef Burger.D-PACK
Yeah. That’s what I mean.(We hear a whistle.)
OFFSTAGE VOICE
In-coming!!!(We hear machine gun fire. D-Pack and Derek take what we thought were beers and unpin grenades with their teeth and throw them. They quickly hit the ground. Explosions!)
D-PACK
I wish I had a beer.(Blackout)
