Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Holy Name Cathedral


At the corner of State and Chicago downtown is the 150 year-old Holy Name Cathedral. Built after the Great Chicago fire, which I guess explains why they went with big bronze doors, it is a stunning monument to Catholicism.

Now, I certainly have my opinions about religion and I'm not going to knock the Catholics. Not right now, any way. The issue I have, of course, is the name. Holy Name? I would like to have sit in on that brainstorming session.

"We need to come up with something reverent, but catchy."

"Right, right. It's got to have a holy name."

"That's it!"

"What's it?"

"We'll call it Holy Name Cathedral. Brilliant! Gets right to the point. No messing around."

"Shouldn't it actually be a holy name?"

"No, no, no, no. This way, people can provide their own. In their imagination. We won't alienate anybody. We'll put those protestants out of business once and for all."

(sigh) "I'll start on the logo."

"Keep it simple."


How hard would it have been to come up with something other than Holy Name? It's like if my parents went "Hey, it's a boy. What shall we call him? Probably a boy's name. Hey, I know... Boy Name Janes. Perfect!"

Speaking of names, I wasn't feeling well yesterday, so I crawled under several blankets and one or two cats and watched several episodes of Farscape. Great show. I've seen it off and on over the years, but this is the first time I've watched season one in order. Comcast has it on their Fancast, their version of Hulu. I now know that I will have found the perfect woman if I ask her what would we name our kids and she says, "Aeren if it's a girl, D'Argo if its a boy." And if she's also bald and blue.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"Historians are outraged because Wal-Mart wants to build a Supercenter right next to what?"


24% said "Martin Luther King's birthplace"
- Um, no.

23% said "Mount Rushmore"
- You mean there's not one already?

15% said "the Donner Party encampment"
- Think of the promotional tie-ins? Starving? Don't eat your neighbor, Cheetos are on sale!

38% got it right with "a Civil War battle site"

According to My Way News, Wal-Mart wants to build a Supercenter within a cannon shot of where Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant first fought, a proposal that has preservationists rallying to protect the key Civil War site. A who's who of historians including filmmaker Ken Burns and Pulitzer Prize winner David McCullough sent a letter last month to H. Lee Scott, president and CEO of Wal-Mart Stores Inc., urging the company to build somewhere farther from the Wilderness Battlefield.

"The Wilderness is an indelible part of our history, its very ground hallowed by the American blood spilled there, and it cannot be moved," said the letter from 253 scholars and others.

Local leaders want the $500,000 in tax revenue they estimate the big box store will generate for rural Orange County, a gradually growing area about 60 miles southwest of Washington.

Okay, two things. One, I would like them to allow Wal-Mart to build ON the site. And to allow Civil War re-enactments in the store using Wal-Mart employees (who, of course, will do it for free or lose their jobs). Second, the local leaders need to pull their heads out of their asses and watch The High Cost of Low Price. Wal-Mart, like casinos, gives the illusion of bringing in lots more in jobs and revenue, but ends up doing more harm than good.