Written by Joe Janes
3/2/09
43 of 365
CAST:
Marta, 70s
Vernon, 70s
Chip, 20s
(Lights up on Marta and Vernon sitting at a card table working on a large jigsaw puzzle. Chip enters looking a little sweaty from yard work.)
CHIP
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Moosemiller.VERNON (looking out window)
Good job, Chip. Way to bang it out.MARTA
I’m so glad you were able to fit us in on your break from school.CHIP
Oh, no problem. Can always use the extra money.VERNON (slyly slipping Chip twenty dollars)
C’mon in and take a load off.MARTA
I’ll go get some lemonade.(She exits.)
CHIP
I don’t want to impose.VERNON
Oh, nonsense. Even a strapping young man like you needs to put his feet up once in awhile. How’s school? How’s the girls? Getting any poon-tang? (He winks.)CHIP
Oh, Mr. Moosemiller, you’re embarrassing me.VERNON
Get it while you can, Chip. Get it while you can.MARTA (entering with tray)
Oh, stop bothering the boy, Vernon.CHIP
It’s okay, Mrs. Moosemiller.VERNON
Just busting the boy’s chops a bit, Marta.(Marta pours Chip some lemonade.)
MARTA
You must be spending all your time with your girlfriends, a handsome young man like you. Very sweet of you to spend some time with two old fogies.CHIP
I don’t mind at all. You two are like grandparents to me,MARTA
Isn’t that sweet, Vernon?VERNON
Hey, Chip. Why don’t you stick around and join us for dinner? Marta’s banging out her famous scalloped potatoes.CHIP
That’s what I smell. (Sips some lemonade) This tastes funny.MARTA
Probably the whiskey.CHIP
Whiskey?VERNON
You’re a big boy, now.MARTA
Puts hair on your chest.VERNON
Marta should know.MARTA
Oh, Vernon.(They laugh. Chip shrugs and keeps sipping.)
MARTA
Oh, and after dinner you can help us with our new puzzle.VERNON
Oh, it’s a doozy. Over a thousand pieces.MARTA
It’s historical. A palace from the Roman Empire.VERNON (referring to the box lid)
Yep. Caligula.(Chip looks at the puzzle.)
CHIP
It looks like –MARTA
It is! A roman orgy.CHIP
Is that a horse? On top of a woman?MARTA
It is. I’m still missing a piece, though.(Chip picks up a piece. He holds it with a little disgust.)
CHIP
Here it is.VERNON
Good eye, Son. We’ll have this banged out in no time!(Marta puts the piece in place. Lights out.)
