Monday, January 4, 2010

Week 51, Day 351 - "Polka Dots and Moonbeams"

“Polka Dots and Moonbeams”

Written by Joe Janes

1/4/10

351 of 365

Cast:

Princess Peanut, 20s

Felicia, 20s

Freddie, 20s

Fergie, 20s

Fernando, 20s

(Lights up on flowers Felicia, Freddie and Fergie enjoying the sun coming up on their faces. Princess Peanut enters with a watering can and large sheers.)

PRINCESS

Good morning, flowers!

FLOWERS ALL

Good morning, Princess Peanut!

PRINCESS

What a lovely day it is today.

FELICIA

It truly is a lovely day. The sun is on my face and I feel so alive.

PRINCESS

And you look so pretty, Felicia.

FELICIA

Thank you, Princess Peanut.

FREDDIE

I, too, appreciate this lovely day. And everyone smells so delightful. Even me!

PRINCESS

Yes, you do, Freddie. You smell so fresh and pretty.

FREDDIE

Thank you, Princess Peanut.

(Fergie sighs a big sigh.)

PRINCESS

What’s the matter, Fergie? You’re the tallest and prettiest flower of them all.

FERGIE

Thank you, Princess Peanut. I was just thinking.

PRINCESS

About what, Fergie?

FERGIE

Oh, nothing.

PRINCESS

I think we’d all like to know, wouldn’t we?

(All the Felicia and Freddie chime in with “yeses” and “sures.”)

FERGIE

I miss Fernando.

FELICIA

We all miss Fernando.

FREDDIE

I admire Fernando. One day, he is standing right next to me, the next day, he is riding in your loverly buttercup hair, Princess.

PRINCESS

Fernando is in a happy place, now.

FELICIA

The garden on the castle’s roof?

PRINCESS

Yes. Exactly. He is there with all the other flowers that have come from this garden. You should be happy for Fernando, Fergie.

FERGIE

I guess. We’re flowers, right?

FELICIA

The prettiest flowers in the land!

FREDDIE

None prettier.

PRINCESS

I have to agree with Felicia and Freddie.

FERGIE

And what does one do with flowers?

PRINCESS

Well, Fergie. I water you and take care of you. And I admire how pretty you all are. And then I move you to a better place.

(All the flowers except Fergie cheer.)

FERGIE

Sure, sure. But then what?

PRINCESS

I’m not sure what you mean.

(Fernando, the stub of a flower rises from the dirt.)

FERNANDO

I know what petal face means.

FELICIA

It’s a monster!

FERNANDO

I am no monster.

PRINCESS

Must be a pesky weed. I’ll just pull it-

FERNANDO

I am no weed. I am one of you.

FERGIE

Fernando!

FREDDIE

Impossible. It can’t be. Is it? Fernando?

FERNANDO

I am what is left of Fernando. Princess Peanut picked the flower, but left the roots. And I know. I know what happens to the flowers, Princess Peanut.

PRIINCESS

Well, then, perhaps you should explain it to the rest of us, Fernando. If that’s really who you are. Although the Fernando I knew was handsome.

FERNANDO (to the flowers)

You’re new. You’re young. You’re pretty. I was pretty.

FERGIE

It’s not going to be like this forever, is it?

PRINCESS

What makes you think of such things?

FELICIA

I don’t. I don’t think about anything, Princess Peanut.

PRINCESS

Good for you, Felicia.

FREDDIE

I didn’t think about it until now. What exactly do you plan to do with us, Princess?

FERNANDO

Tell them the truth.

PRINCESS

Well, I was going to gather you all up and bring you inside to enjoy sitting in a vase on my dinner table.

FELICIA

You’re going to eat us?

PRINCESS

No, no, Felicia. I won’t eat you. I just think you’ll look pretty there.

FELICIA

I think I look pretty here.

PRINCESS

The truth is, Fernando and Fergie are right. This doesn’t last forever. Sooner or later, I have to pick you. If I don’t, you’ll just die where you are. (Looking at Fernando) Eventually.

FREDDIE

If you pick us, we don’t die?

FERNANDO

You die that way, too.

PRINCESS

Just with more dignity.

FERNANDO

Until you start to droop and get throw you out with the trash.

PRINCESS

But you’ll be dead and very unaware by that time.

FERNANDO

Fernando was not unaware. We were connected. I could feel his silent screams as his stem and flowers dried up and turned to rot.

FELICIA

I don’t want to die that way.

FERNANDO

We don’t have to. Aha! (He holds up the pair of large sheers Princess Peanut left on the ground.) We can cut our selves loose and run for freedom. (He cuts himself free and passes the sheers along.)

PRINCESS

No. You can’t leave. I have guests coming over for dinner tonight. I won’t let you leave.

FERGIE

You don’t want to get in our way.

FREDDIE

Get her!

(The all rush toward her and fall to the ground.)

FERNANDO

That was a bad idea.

(Blackout.)

365 At Chicago Sketchfest - Thursday, January 7th, 8pm

The full cast and scenes for January 7th Sketchfest Show!


Garin Jones, Becky Eldridge, JBen Parker, Chrissy

Swinko, Chris Day, Jeremy Schaefer (LOL Theater) – “Sketch 354” – That day’s sketch!

Neil Arsenty, Tim Huerlin, Kate Lambert (members
of Cell Camp) – Sketch 109 - “Bullet Flu”

Mackenzie Yeager and Kelly Kerwin - Sketch... 18 – “Single White
Friendster”

Kevin Gladish – Sketch 8 - “Pushing The Envelope”

Pat Dwyer and Erin Pallesen (KerPatty) - Sketch 129 - “Langley and Pratt”

Chloe Ditzel – Sketch 55 - “Happy Ending”

Dustin Levell, Evan O’Donnel, Kurt Lewis (PIP) – Sketch 104 - “Weenus”

Becca Levine, Mary Cait Walthall, Doug Werder, Don
Loukota, Nat Topping, Chris Othic (director) (Robot vs Dinosaur) – Sketch 227 - "I Love 2 Boogie"


For ticket info, go to www.chicagosketchfest.com.