Written by Joe Janes
75 of 365
(Lights up on two figures about to walk by one another late at night on an urban neighborhood sidewalk.)
HARRY & CHUCKGive me all your money.
CHUCKOh, my God. Harry! Well, blow me down.
HARRYCrazy world, hunh? Been awhile. How’s Margaret?
HARRYOh, I’m sorry, man.
CHUCKEh, for the better. Took the kids with her. Working on putting together this month’s child support, as you can see. (They laugh) How about you? Still married to…?
HARRYCheryl. Yep. Yep. Still married.
CHUCKCheryl, right. She know you -?
HARRYOh, hell, no. She thinks I still have my job at the plant. This is me working the graveyard shift.
CHUCKWow. Been a long time.
HARRYWho’d a thunk, eh?
CHUCK (taking out gun)I’m still going to need your wallet.
HARRY (also taking out gun)Same here.
(They slowly, professionally and courteously exchange wallets.)
CHUCKYou’ve been having a good night.
HARRYI’ve had better. What’s with all the singles?
CHUCKMugged a stripper.
HARRYNice. You want the wallet back?
CHUCKKeep it. Nothing important in it.
HARRYSame here. It’s a rough neighborhood.
CHUCKSeems to have gotten worse lately.
CHUCKTough times. No credit cards?
HARRYCut up my credit cards a long time ago.
CHUCKMe, too. They’ll do nothing but get you in trouble.
HARRYAmen to that, brother. Well, you have a good night.
CHUCKYou, too, Harry. Oh, which way are you heading?
HARRYI was going to keep heading west. Some nightclubs over there about to make last call.
CHUCKCool. I’ll keep heading this way towards the train. Last thing I want to do is compete with a good buddy.
CHUCKGive my love to Cheryl.
HARRYWill do. See you, Chuck.
(Chuck turns to walk away. Harry begins to sneak up on him with his gun raised as if he were going to strike him. Chuck turns and he freezes.)
CHUCKWhat the hell are you doing?
HARRYWow. Hey. I am so sorry.
CHUCKWere you going to steal your money back? That is so uncool.
HARRYI know, I know. (Frustrated with himself) Rrrrrrrr! It’s like once I get my mugging shoes on, hard to stop. Know what I mean?
CHUCKYeah. I guess. Forgive me if I don’t turn my back as you walk away.
HARRYFair enough. I deserved that.
(Harry starts to walk away, an awkward mix of walking backwards and turning until he is almost off stage.)
HARRY (continuing)Hey, let me make it up to you. Why don’t you come cover to dinner on Sunday? Cheryl will love to see you.
CHUCKI don’t know –
HARRYChicken pot pie.
CHUCKMy three favorite little words. See you Sunday.
(They both walk off. A moment later, Chuck sneaks back and exits the way Harry left. Blackout.)