Written by Joe Janes
5/23/09
125 of 365
CAST
Miss Sara, 20s
Dale, 10
Missy, 10
Hank, 10
Tiffany, 10
Chip, 10
TB,?
(Lights up on Miss Sara’s third grade class. She sits in front of them with a cardboard clock with moveable hands.)
MISS SARA
…And that’s how we tell time! So, Dale, if the big hand is on the two and the little hand is on the five, what times is it?DALE
Um, two after five?MISS SARA
No. Good try, though. Missy? What do you think?MISSY
Ten minutes after five o’clock?MISS SARA
Very good.HANK
That makes no sense whatsoever. If it’s ten after, shouldn’t the big hand be on the ten?MISS SARA
Remember, Hank, the big hand is to count the minutes. The little hand counts the hours. Let’s put the big hand on the ten. What time is it Chip?CHIP
Ten minutes till five.HANK
See, that makes sense.MISS SARA
Well, how many minutes after the hour is it? Tiffany?TIFFANY
5-10-15-20-25-30-35-40-45-50…50.MISS SARA
Very good. Everybody understand about telling time? Any questions? Hank?HANK
This time thing, who invented it?MISS SARA
Invented it? I don’t think anyone invented time.TIFFANY
But, somebody invented clocks. DALE
I think cavemen invented time so they wouldn’t miss their TV shows.MISSY
You don’t need a clock to watch TV. Not when there’s TiVo.DALE
Cavemen didn’t have TiVo, dummy.MISS SARA
Hey, let’s not use bad names, Dale. I suppose someone really smart invented clocks a long time ago so people could be on time to meet up with one another.HANK
Time is always moving. That’s why clocks run all the time. Right?MISS SARA
You could say time is always moving. Some people say it flows, like a river.DALE
Wouldn’t we get all wet?MISS SARA
Time isn’t wet like a river, it just moves like one. There’s time in the past, like yesterday, and then there’s the present, today, now, and then there’s tomorrow.HANK
What happens if time beavers build a dam and time backs up and floods everywhere? Then what happens?MISS SARA
Well, I’m not - TIFFANY
Then everything would happen all at once!MISSY
I’m scared. Can we kill the time beavers?CHIP
No, don’t kill the time beavers!MISS SARA
No one’s killing the time beavers, Chip.MISSY (crawling under desk)
Then how can we stop them?MISS SARA
Time beavers don’t exist, Missy.DALE
They’re extinct! God killed them!HANK (Spinning the hands of Miss Sara’s clock)
I can feel it. There’s too much time. I’m up to my neck in time.TIFFANY (starts running around)
Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!MISS SARA
Tiffany, sit down!CHIP
Call FEMA! Call the National Guard! Call Obama!MISS SARA (takes clock away from Hank)
Give me that, Hank.HANK
It’s a time tsunami!MISS SARA (tears the hands off the clock)
Look! Look! Time has stopped. Look at the clock. The hands are still. Everything’s fine. Shhhhhhh! The time beavers are sleeping.MISSY
Time is scary.MISS SARA
Listen, children…. Time is just time. Clocks are a way to measure the seconds, minutes and hours of the day. It’s like a ruler. It’s a tool we use. It’s nothing to be afraid of. A clock is just a clock, a piece of furniture; like that chair is just a chair. We use it, it doesn’t use us. Understand?CHIP
So, time’s not a bully that yells at tells us and tells us what to do?MISS SARA
That’s right. We, human beings, made it up. (The school bell rings. The kids all get up from their desks and head out the door.)
MISS SARA
That’s the bell. Now, get out of here. Bye-bye. See you tomorrow. What time tomorrow, Hank?HANK
8:30am.MISS SARA
That’s right. Get home safely.(Everyone leaves. Miss Sara looks relived. From the opposite side of the stage, a time beaver enters. The time beaver wears white coveralls, a hard hat, and a big clock necklace. The time beaver takes the clock and the hands from Miss Sara, looks disappointingly at her, and exits. Lights fade.)
