Week 45, Day 310 - "Something To Believe In"

“Something To Believe In”

Written by Joe Janes

11/24/09

310 of 365

CAST

Dani, 40s

Martin, 40s

Jillie, 40s

Gene, 30s

Nancy, 30s

(Lights up on Dani Collins seated in a chair. An empty chair is next to her. Martin stands between the empty chair and the door.)

MARTIN

Five down, twenty-five more to go. (She rolls her eyes at him.) You ready, Dani? The quicker we do these the quicker we’ll be through.

DANI

Hang on, Martin.

(She sits up. Takes a deep breath while shaking out her hands. She emerges from the process smiling. She nods to Martin who opens the door. Jillie enters. Jillie dresses casually and wears a cap, but has a somber, serious demeanor.)

JILLIE (sitting)

Hi.

DANI

Hi.

(Jillie looks to Martin.)

MARTIN

Oh. The camera’s rolling. Pick up where you need to. We’ll give you the raw stuff and you edit it however you want.

(Jillie nods, looks at Dani.)

JILLIE

5-4-3--… (She suddenly lights up and starts laughing.) Oh, hey, everybody, Jillie B. here with my new BFF Dani Collins. We’re having such a good time talking about her new movie, “Rosalita’s Thunder.” Dani, this movie is amazing-

DANI

You’ve seen it?

(Jillie’s face goes cold. She shakes her head a quick “no.”)

JILLIE

5-4-3… (She lights up, again) Dani, you’re new movie is amazing! Tell me, what was it like working with Bruce Nielson? Pretty hard work?

DANI

Well, Bruce is pretty talented, but it doesn’t hurt that he’s such eye candy.

JILLIE

Tell me, about it, girlfriend. Any sparks fly between you two off the set?

DANI

No, we kept our sparks limited to on the set. And we had a guy standing by with a fire extinguisher.

JILLIE (going cold again)

Why?

DANI

Because we heated things up. On the set.

(Jillie nods slowly, deep in thought.)

JILLIE

That’s good. “Standing by with a fire extinguisher”…5-4-3… (Jillie explodes laughing) Well, of course, you did. Sounds like you guys hit it off. Or should I say, hit it “hot.”

DANI

Really, it’s just a good movie. You should come see it.

JILLIE

You know I will, again. (Jillie laughs). You as Rosalita, I smell Oscar.

DANI

I smell Oscar Mayer.

JILLIE (going cold)

We’ll probably cut that. They’re not one of our sponsors. 5-4-3… (All smiles!) That’s all the time we have. Thank you, Dani. We have to get together more often, Angel.

DANI

We’ve never-

JILLIE

This is Jillie B with the Buzz-z-z-z-z-z in Hollywood. (Jillie goes all cold, again. She gets up and leaves without saying good-bye.)

DANI

These people are freaks.

MARTIN

Freaks that help you sell your movie so you can make another one and have a career. Ready for more pain?

DANI

Bring it on.

(Martin opens the door. Gene enters. He’s a mild-mannered, friendly looking guy.)

GENE

Thanks.

MARTIN

You’re welcome. You have five minutes.

GENE (sitting)

Hi. My name’s Gene. It’s very nice to meet you.

DANI

It’s nice to meet you, Gene.

GENE

Since we don’t have much time, Dani, and this is to promote your new film, I thought I’d just let you run with it.

DANI

Run with it?

GENE

Sure. Tell me about your movie.

DANI

Oh. Okay. “Rosalita’s Thunder” is about a woman from Louisiana. She owns and operates a small hole-in-the-wall bar in the French Quarter that she inherited from her husband who died in battle in Iraq. It’s a story of struggling, carrying on, redemption and falling in love later in life. My co-star is Bruce Nielson as an Iraq vet on the lam. He gets reinstated and runs away. Rosalita offers him refuge and, in the process, heals her grieving heart. (Pause) Gene. Are you okay?

GENE (holding back tears)

That sounds so beautiful.

DANI

It’s a very touching story and everyone really poured their hearts and souls into making it. I’m very proud to be a part of it.

(Gene is crying harder now. He holds out his hand for her to take. She does so, reluctantly.)

GENE

That sounds so special.

DANI

Yeah, it is, I guess.

GENE

I wish I was special.

(Martin and Dani exchange glances and shrugs.)

DANI

Oh, Gene, don’t say that. You’re special.

GENE

You’re just saying that.

DANI

No, no. When you walked in the room, I thought you were different. Special. You’re the only reporter so far to just ask me about the movie without making a big show about it. Believe me, that is special.

GENE

I’m not a reporter.

DANI

You’re not?

GENE

No. I just have a blog.

DANI

Oh. But you write about movies.

GENE

No, not really. I take pictures of sweet actresses like you and Photoshop your face on to pictures of naked ladies.

DANI

Oh.

MARTIN (escorting Gene out)

Hey, that’s five minutes. Time to go Gene. Say good-bye to Dani.

GENE

Wait. Can I just take a moment? (He turns and looks at her.) I want to remember you as you are.

DANI

Well, make sure you remember it with this body.

MARTIN

Let’s go.

(Gene exits. Martin closes the door.)

DANI

I’m not going to make it. I just want to make movies. I don’t want to go through this bullshit. Help me out here, Martin.

MARTIN

It’s in your contract, Dani. You don’t do this, I don’t know. The producers can sue you.

DANI

Can’t they screen who they invite a little better?

MARTIN

We’re living in the information age. They’re trying to catch every possible ticket buyer. Even if it means doing interviews with creepazoids.

DANI

And the film will probably still tank. Who wants to see a tear jerker?

MARTIN

Bill does take off his shirt in it.

DANI

Great. MILFS and gay men will be our audience.

MARTIN

As long as they buy a movie ticket, I don’t care what or who they’re touching in the dark. How about one more and we break for lunch?

DANI

Okay, but if they’re a freak, make it a fast five minutes.

(Martin opens the door. Nancy enters. She looks normal and seems to possess proper social skills.)

NANCY

Hi. I’m next. Oh, hi, Dani. (She sits) Thanks for doing this. I know how hard these press junkets can be. I promise to keep things quick and light. My name’s Nancy and I do entertainment news for WKBM in Minneapolis.

DANI

Nice to meet you, Nancy. Really nice to meet you.

NANCY

So, “Rosalita’s Thunder.” The word around Hollywood is that this is your best performance yet.

DANI

Well, that’s very flattering.

NANCY

And many critics, including this one, are already marking it as a big Oscar contender.

DANI

You saw it?

NANCY

Three times. This film is incredible. Poignant, smart, deeply moving. I have just one more question.

DANI

Shoot.

(Nancy takes a picture out of a folder and holds it out to Dani)

NANCY

Is this a picture of you in an alley outside a nightclub in Shreveport snorting coke off Bill Nielson’s dick?

DANI

Yep.

MARTIN

And that’s time.

(Blackout.)

Week 15, Day 105 - "Two On The Aisle"

TWO ON THE AISLE
Written by Joe Janes
5/3/09
105 of 365

CAST:
Ernst, 30s
Thelma, 30s
E, 30s
T, 30s

(Lights up in the house of a theater in Philadelphia, 1933. Ernst gets up from his aisle seat and puts on his long coat. His wife, Thelma, remains seated. Seated off and behind them in the house is T. She sits looking at her program.)

ERNST

There you are. I have now gone to the theater… We should be going.

THELMA

I know. I know.

ERNST

To facilitate the going part, Thelma, you should consider standing and putting on your coat.

THELMA

Just another minute. Please, Ernst. I haven’t seen him in ten years.

ERNST

He doesn’t even know you are here.

THELMA

He knows I’m here. He saw me. I know he saw me.

ERNST

He would have come out by now.

THELMA

In the drawing room scene, when he poured himself a brandy… Just before he called that tarty girl a “swine"... He looked right at me. He might even have winked at me.

ERNST

It’s bad enough I allowed you to drag me here on a Thursday night, we left junior alone with your mother. We need to go home before she loads him up on cookies and coffee so he’ll stay up and keep her company.

THELMA

She said she wouldn’t do that, again.

ERNST

The woman is capable of anything but raising a child properly. She fed you lasagna as baby food.

THELMA

It was pureed.

ERNST

It was lasagna.

THELMA

All right. Let’s go. (She gets up. He helps her with her coat. They head toward the exit. E enters through the curtain from the stage.)

E

Thelma? Is that you?

THELMA

You did see me! I knew you saw me! (She runs up to E and gives him a big hug.) He saw me! You were so good up there. You looked so good in your tuxedo. Where’s your tuxedo?

E

It’s in my dressing room… Can’t wear it all the time.

THELMA

Oh. Of course. I knew you saw me. When you called that woman a swine. Boy, did you get that right! She really was a swine.

E

The cast is heading to the bar across the street. Would you like to join us? Give us a chance to catch up.

ERNST

Ahem.

THELMA

Oh, Ernst. This is my husband…Ernst.

E

Ernst…small world.

ERNST

Well, it’s a common name.

E

How do you do?

ERNST

Lovely.

E

Care to join us?

ERNST

Unfortunately, we need to get back home to care for our son, Ernst, Jr.

E

You’re married and have a child?

THELMA (sighs)

Yes.

E

I didn’t know.

ERNST

That’s all right. I never knew you existed until yesterday afternoon when we saw the advert for your play “The Gay Scoundrel.”

THELMA

You made a beautiful scoundrel, Ernst.

E

You think so? I felt off tonight.

THELMA

How long are you in town? Ernst works during the day and Ernst, Jr has school. Maybe we could get together.

ERNST

Perhaps on Saturday, you could come over to the house and meet the whole family.

E

Oh, Saturday’s a bear. We do three shows that day.

THELMA (hugs E)

You saw me. The last time I saw you was when we watched the sun go down at the lake. And then watched it come back up again. (E shrugs towards Ernst)

ERNST

We need to go, Thelma.

E (peeling himself away)

It was nice seeing you, Thelma. I’m glad you are doing well.

THELMA (sighs)

Yes.

E

And it was nice meeting you, Ernst.

ERNST

Yes. It was.

E

Good luck with that boy of yours… I’ll see you, again.

THELMA

I hope it’s not another ten years.

E

I hope not, too.

(Thelma and Ernst leave. E watches them leave and then notices T. Thelma runs back in and plants a kiss on him.)

THELMA

Ernst is getting a taxi. I knew you saw me. I just knew it.

E

I look for you every night, wherever I am.

T

Ahem.

E (peeling Thelma off him)

Ah. Thelma. Let me introduce you to someone. This is my wife…Thelma.

THELMA

Oh. I didn’t know.

T

Now you do. Good-bye.

(Thelma leaves. E walks to T.)

E

Darling!

T

Swine.

(Blackout.)