Thursday, September 27, 2007

No Childrens Left Behind

Why He Embarrasses Me

"As yesterday's positive report card shows," Bush said, "childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured."


That, and because he's spending a billion dollars a day swapping blood for oil and claims he's fiscally responsible with our tax dollars.

Say what you will about Bubba, I think he and Gore put this country on track. They weren't perfect, but there was a positive, forward momentum. I don't consider myself a full-blooded democrat. In my first presidential election, I voted independent. But when Clinton was elected after eight years of Reagan and four years of George H, I felt, literally felt, a weight lift off my shoulders. It was exiting and a time of growth. Now, every day, when I read the news, I am just bewildered. How can this be happening and why are those with heart and a true moral compass so impotent to stop the madness?

I don't know. I do believe it will change with the next election, but I'm impatient and I want change now. I want justice now.



SOIREE DADA

We are at our halfway point as we enter into our fourth week of Soiree Dada: Blinde Esel Hopse. Reviews have been favorable and audiences have been great. If you want to get into the show for five dollars less than "normal" people, say "Medulla Oblongata" really slowly at the box office.

Me-e-e-e-dew-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-la-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

Ob-long-gah-ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-tah!




ROBOWRITERS

Is tonight! Uptown Writer's Space at 6:30pm. Bring any ol' sketch you want to get feedback on, hang out with other writers and read scenes out loud and giggle, get ideas for your next scene, eat cookies.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"A man at the Oklahoma State Fair prevented a horse stampede by doing what?"


34% said "Giving them cotton candy"
- Sure. Calm them down with sugar. Works for children, too. Not!

16% thought "Singing songs from 'Oklahoma!'"
- No, but the western ballet dream sequence almost put them to sleep.

8% picked "Tasering them"
- Isn't that the answer to everything, bro?

42% got it right with "Biting one of the horses in the ear"

According to the Associated Press, the coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear. "That's how you stymie a horse," he said. "You bite as hard as you can, and it won't move." This also explains the Mike Tyson-like ear chomps his hockey team's opponents seem to mysteriously suffer.